Jurassic Park isn’t far behind though.

  • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    29 days ago

    For the love of God please stop making poor old Harrison Ford pretend to be a 40 year old treasure hunter.

    Nobody wants to watch “Indiana Jones and the Non ADA Compliant Ramp Outside the Post Office”

    • TechnoUnionTypeBeat [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      29 days ago

      I still don’t understand why Indiana Jones wasn’t made into a sort of James Bond legacy character

      Like the movies are my problematic favs - yes, I know they’re steeped in racism but also it’s fun to see Nazis get decked and all - but there’s something depressing about the latest movie being mostly about Jones being old, decrepit, and cranky. It loses a lot of its charm that way

      • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        29 days ago

        Like the movies are my problematic favs - yes, I know they’re steeped in racism

        They have other problems, too, especially if you look into the Marian character and the fact that Spielberg and Lucas almost made her even younger. libertarian-alert

      • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        29 days ago

        Especially considering he literally has a young protege in a bunch of the movies, the passing of the torch writes itself.

        Unless they’re just really committing to the bit and soon they’re gonna have a movie where Ford is the ancient mcguffin a new younger adventurer has to find a “rescue”/steal.

        • LocalOaf [they/them]@hexbear.net
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          29 days ago

          Lmao, Shia LeBeouf got purge-1 purge-2’d so hard

          Just looked it up and he has a recent lawsuit for SA shit from FKA Twigs, so fuck him and I’m retroactively glad he’s washed up

        • Dolores [love/loves]@hexbear.net
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          29 days ago

          i’m 90% certain that was the idea with Crystal Skull & Shia leboufe but i think it disappointed money-wise and Shia became less of a rising star and more of a liability for the studios

      • GalaxyBrain [they/them]@hexbear.net
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        29 days ago

        Somehow the idea that Indiana Jones is a character and not Punch People Action Guy and he must be played by Harrison Ford is so absurd. He is a hat, a jacket, a whip, exciting danger and punching. Harrison Ford wasn’t even the first guy to play Indiana Jones from a thematic standpoint. They were ripping off old adventure serials which starred that exact archetype.

      • SSJMarx@lemm.ee
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        29 days ago

        a sort of James Bond legacy character

        For some reason Hollywood completely forgot that you’re allowed to re-cast roles and put new actors in them. I suppose you could see it as a reflection of the generational dynamics in the whole country - boomers clinging to what they got and refusing to yield anything to the younger generation until they’re absolutely forced to.

      • EllenKelly [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        29 days ago

        The racism and misogyny are fucking hard to sit through as an adult, i rewatched the first one recently ang omg. The love subplot is Indi slept with a 16 year old and she falls in love with him.

    • Dolores [love/loves]@hexbear.net
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      29 days ago

      Nobody wants to watch “Indiana Jones and the Non ADA Compliant Ramp Outside the Post Office”

      I-was-saying i think people should be generally more aware and passionate about ADA compliance

  • Crowtee_Robot [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    29 days ago

    Hollywood is doing the creative equivalent of mountaintop blasting. Nothing will be left of anyone’s childhood except a blasted heath of slow piano covers of beloved theme songs.

  • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    29 days ago

    I’d put jurassic park first. At least Ghostbusters are solving an external conflict. At this point any jurassic park movie should just be 40 minutes of somebody trying to convince an investor a park where you have live dinosaurs won’t have the exact same incredibly predictable problems they’ve immediatly encountered the last 6 times they did this exact thing.

      • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        29 days ago

        Ok park or island with the intention to turn it into a park except it goes wrong in exactly the same way before they get that far.

        • GalaxyBrain [they/them]@hexbear.net
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          29 days ago

          They were never going to turn an island with dinos into a park. Isla Sorna was where they bred and raised the dinos before shipping em to jurassic park and the dino island in the world movies is where the park was after it was destroyed in j-world 1

          • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            29 days ago

            Wow you’re right that’s a completely different and refreshing take on the narrative.

            Also that’s literally what they did in the first new one. And then I’m pretty sure the second new one was them dealing with dinos escaping from said island but I didn’t see that one because I realized it was the same shit over and over again.

            • GalaxyBrain [they/them]@hexbear.net
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              29 days ago

              Your loss. The latest one is absolutely hilarious, especially the theatrical cut which trims it to a reasonable time but cuts the scenes that make the plot make sense. It opens with 2 dinosaurs fighting and the cuts to a black screen and 1.5 Million Years Later comes up and then it’s the rest of the movie. It is a super long time jump after a totally pointless event and it stays around that level. It’s great

    • CommunistBear [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      29 days ago

      You could do one where there is a park that is successful but gets bought out by some VC asshole who cuts corners and ruins the place? Although that’s kinda what happened in Jurassic World so nevermind. No more Jurassic Park.

      • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        29 days ago

        That’s literally the first movie. Hammond was the vc asshole who spared literally every expense possible.

        That’s why there was the shot in the helicopter of him having to tie the seat belts together because they didn’t even do that right. (Also the two female ends working as a “life finds a way” reference)

        That’s what I’m saying they pretty well flushed out the concept in the first one, every subsequent movie should be somebody telling them “no you fucking idiot” and then being thrown in jail.

        Instead we’re on like film 8 of the same shit happening.

        Kind of like star wars and their 4th movie where the theme is “giant space based weapon with a weak spot exploitable by somebody sufficiently quirky”

  • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    29 days ago

    Aliens. Time to take they keys away from Ridley Scott.

    Still salty they played favorites and gave him back the franchise over Neill Blomkamp and he went on to make one of the worst Aliens movies ever.

    • StalinStan [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      29 days ago

      It is so wild to me that the movie about how bugs and sexual violence are bad was changed to how “God didn’t give you enough treats” and " technology is bad"

    • BelieveRevolt [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      29 days ago

      Ridley Scott’s output in the last couple of decades hasn’t been great in general. I’m glad they at least took the keys to Blade Runner from him.

      he went on to make one of the worst Aliens movies ever.

      You mean Prometheus or Alien: Covenant? Who am I kidding, it’s both.

    • macabrett[they/them]@lemmy.ml
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      29 days ago

      I love those first two movies (and still enjoy the third one) and I’m getting psychological damage every time they put out a new one.

      I’m kinda interested in Alien Romulus because it seems like Ridley Scott is completely uninvolved? Kinda just looks like a horror movie on a space ship? idk I’ll probably be let down again

        • SSJMarx@lemm.ee
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          29 days ago

          This might already exist but a Chinese Bond ripoff where the US are the bad guys would be banger.

          • RyanGosling [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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            29 days ago

            Chinese cinema leaves a lot to be desired tbh. Especially its action flicks. The budget may or may not be high, but they don’t have enough experience for decent effects compared to the west. And if it’s not action flicks, it’s usually k-drama knock offs lol. They do have less grandiose movies that look interesting though; there’s this sci-fi one about a journalist discovering a UFO

    • StalinStan [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      29 days ago

      I feel like James Bond would have legs if they got weird with it. Instead of trying to get serious they gave us a new silly art deco bullshit that would be rad

    • autismdragon [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      29 days ago

      I have not stopped enjoying MCU slop tbh. Though I am hoping Secret Wars leads to some sort of soft reboot. Idk, I’m an easy lay for superheroes, none of the post-Endgame stuff has been less than a 5 or 6 for me, shows included (though I havent seen Secret Invasion, I heard thats genuinly awful no matter your tastes). So as far as I’m concerned they can keep going. Like basically noone else is but I’m genuinely excited for Thunderbolts because I have sincere affection for the characters in it. I love Nebula and hope they tell more stories with her. I love Kingpin. I love my precious baby Kamala Khan. I have no problem if they keep going even if I’m going to be part of an increasingly shrinking audience.

      I do, admittedly, think the “cinematic universe” concept should be dropped and we should just do self contained superhero stories. The Infinity Saga is near impossible to top in that sense so like, just do other self contained things. Doesnt need to be franchises.

    • SSJMarx@lemm.ee
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      29 days ago

      Bond has the courtesy to wait a few years in between films, at least. That’s why I haven’t ever felt burned out by it - compared to the MCU which has a release every couple of months and feels like it just never ends.

  • CommCat [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    29 days ago

    Have they stopped making Terminator sequels/prequels yet? How many silly time travel branches can they churn out? Terminator 2 was basically a high budget remake of the original Terminator with some plot tweaks, both were excellent. I think I watched 2-3 more and they were all forgettable.

    • BelieveRevolt [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      Hopefully, I just looked at the NATOpedia page and there hasn’t been a new movie since 2019 and all the planned sequels have been scrapped. A Terminator anime series is apparently premiering on Netflix in a couple of weeks, which at least sounds more interesting than ”here’s John Connor again”.

      The Sarah Connor Chronicles wasn’t bad, at least.

  • lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    29 days ago

    hot take: Ghostbusters (2016) was the best movie since the originals, possibly even on par with or slightly above Ghostbusters 2. it had good wacky energy and didn’t try to take itself seriously like the kids reboot, and it had queer rep that didn’t feel like queerbait, as opposed to the newest movie.

    oh, and while I can’t explain why this is, the homages to the original movies and actors felt like proper homages, rather than nostalgia traps like in the reboot series.

  • Dessa [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    29 days ago

    One franchise I’m surprised works so well revived is the Caped Crusader reboot of Batman TAS. Still got a lot of the old magic

    • BelieveRevolt [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      29 days ago

      Forgot that was out, TAS is so good (even if there is a lot more filler than you remembered there being), so that’s some slop I’m actually interested in seeing feral-hog

    • Belly_Beanis [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      29 days ago

      I really wish they would make a Batman Beyond live-action series. They could even make it lean leftwing with Terry McGinnis being a working class nobody.

      Of course, if we did get a Batman Beyond, it’d be “Judge Dredd unironically.”

      • SSJMarx@lemm.ee
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        29 days ago

        BBeyond was so good, I haven’t watched a cape movie since Endgame but I would go to a theater to watch Cyberpunk Batman.