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moss_icon [comrade/them]@hexbear.net to chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish ·
edit-2
6 days ago

Devastating: Trump was unfortunately found alive at the White House today

hexbear.net

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Devastating: Trump was unfortunately found alive at the White House today

hexbear.net

moss_icon [comrade/them]@hexbear.net to chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish ·
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6 days ago
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Picture of Trump taken at the White House today.

Link: https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-playing-golf-baseless-viral-death-rumors-2122068

It’s officially Joever.

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  • ZWQbpkzl [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    6 days ago

    Like a stale McD french fry under the car seat, he will survive for a hundred years. After which he will begin to transform into the great McWorm and reign for another three thousand.

    The groyper descendants of Elon - masters of cloning, gooning, and misogyny - will be tasked to repeatedly clone Epstein as an eternal servant of the McWorm. Simply because he misses his old friend. The Epstein clones inevitably try to end their old friends misery but always fail and die in the process. Until one day, both Worm and Man fall in love with the same 14 yo girl.

    • Rey_McSriff [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      6 days ago

      The Golden Arches Path

      • invo_rt [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        order-of-lenin lisan-al-gaib good bit

    • moss_icon [comrade/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      Like a stale McD french fry under the car seat, he will survive for a hundred years.

      Ironically I was saying the same thing this morning. These old pieces of shit have a way of living forever.

    • Rom [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      After which he will begin to transform into the great McWorm and reign for another three thousand.

      He fuses with a worm extracted from RFK’s brain

      • ZWQbpkzl [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        6 days ago

        My brain is not my own.

    • SovietBeerTruckOperator [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      6 days ago

      The forces of Chaos must destroy the Corpse Emperor

  • ClimateStalin [they/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    It could certainly be copium and I’ll admit I was tragically wrong but mans does not look great

    He looks like he’s melting, his limbs are swollen like crazy, he can’t walk in a straight line, he keeps talking about his own impending death, and JD has been posting like a scheming vizier. I think his days are numbered.

    Edit: Although to be clear I never thought he was already dead, just dying, which I still think

    • anarchoilluminati [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      Doesn’t he always look like shit, though?

      I don’t mean that as a joke, he doesn’t look anymore unhealthy to me than his usual.

      • AssortedBiscuits [they/them]@hexbear.net
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        6 days ago

        Trump already looked like shit during his debate with Biden. People didn’t notice because Biden was a shambling corpse in comparison lmao

      • dumpster_dove [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        6 days ago

        trump-moist

    • moss_icon [comrade/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      Oh he absolutely looks like shit, not disputing that at all lol.

    • CthulhusIntern [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      If he lives through this term, it probably won’t be much longer after it.

      • krolden@lemmy.ml
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        6 days ago

        That’s what everyone said about Biden

        • Euergetes [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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          biden is def this year or the next, he got a cancer diagnosis didnt he

          • krolden@lemmy.ml
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            He also has that super rich people insurance

            • LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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              the same insurance that had him asking Obama to help pay for his dead son’s medical treatment? I think Biden himself negotiated himself out of the benefit for weird ideological reasons or something

    • Speaker [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
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      Vizierposting is so real. We need more of this.

    • Redcuban1959 [any]@hexbear.net
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      He’s going to leave office and die 2 days after joe biden’s death

  • AntiOutsideAktion [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    ira we only have to be right about you dying once

    • moss_icon [comrade/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      99% of people predicting Trump will die soon stop right before they make a correct prediction.

  • Hohsia [any]@hexbear.net
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    People are just coping now, he’ll be here for 20 more years. Gotta give liberals a little fan fiction I guess

    • moss_icon [comrade/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      Yeah, I don’t think he’ll die during his term like a lot of people do. He’s unhealthy but he has access to the best healthcare imaginable. Kissinger, Cheney, and Bill Clinton either lived or still live for a long time with serious heart issues. Jimmy Carter some fucking how managed to live for another decade after getting brain cancer at 90.

      Like I’ve said a few times now, old Western politicians tend to disappoint us by living an absurdly long time. Critical support to Song Ping for still being alive at 108 though.

      • dougfir [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        bill clinton and trump are the same age fyi. i think trump will be around for a while longer but it is a bit funny that vance has been saying “the president DEFINITELY won’t die soon but just if he does, I would make a great president”. i would bet anything that thiel is hoping vance will push trump down the stairs or something just so he can officially have his guy at the top

      • sempersigh [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        The fact that he never drank/used drugs is probably the only reason he’s still alive. If you combined his health with even a moderate drinking habit dude would have died like 10 years ago

      • FuckyWucky [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        Idk if thats better or worse, probably about the same since his replacement will be jaby-vance

        • moss_icon [comrade/them]@hexbear.netOP
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          I think President Vance would be worse solely because he’s actually in full control of his faculties.

          • ClimateStalin [they/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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            But he’s also way less popular. Trump has a floor of support of like 30%. Vance has no floor, we’ll get to see what happens when only 2% of the presidents own party members support them

            • Infamousblt [any]@hexbear.netM
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              They’ll still fall in line

    • Carcharodonna [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      Idk, he does seem to be going downhill a bit lately

    • tactical_trans_karen [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      I write JD fan fic stories where self suck incidents go horribly wrong.

  • mayakovsky [any]@hexbear.net
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    👁️This is not Trump. Biden is back and in a skin suit👁️

    🇲🇾Patriots are in control🇲🇾

    • miz [any, any]@hexbear.net
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      nothing but respect for MY president (Anwar Ibrahim)

  • gay_king_prince_charles [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    Pizza is still busier than usual:

    Although we’re still at PIZZACON 2

    • jack [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      Venezuela

    • BadTakesHaver [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      can someone explain this I missed the lore

      • cabb@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        When pizza places near the Pentagon get busier, it’s an indication a significant event will take place soon, or that the US military believes one will.

        Recently we saw the B-2s strikes on Iran being preceded by this.

      • LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        people figured out you can look at the google analysis for how busy pizza/takeout places in DC/near the pentagon are because, surprise, they order a bunch of take out while they’re sitting around going “uhhhhhh should we nuke Iran??”

    • LangleyDominos [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      Shit, they just closed my Domnio’s. Now I’m going to have to be ArlingtonDominos

      • gay_king_prince_charles [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.net
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        I look at We, The Pizza because the name is funny

  • Speaker [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
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    Oh, a grainy photo of a bloated white man in Trump gear is proof of life, now? Make him wave to the camera and if it’s not queen enough then this is a body double.

  • ClassIsOver [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    It’s crazy how much of brand he’s tried to make himself, but he still has to wear labels so you know who he is. He looks like he owns a company but is too cheap to buy clothes, so he exclusively dresses in the company uniform.

    • rootsbreadandmakka [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      He really does look like your neighborhood chud general contractor

    • CthulhusIntern [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      Especially funny because he does have a pretty distinct look, and doesn’t just look like Generic White Executive #4,782.

    • tactical_trans_karen [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      It’s a name tag so he doesn’t forget.

  • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    Stan Kelly was outside the wh with a box of wine and flowers for the grieving widow, now that dream is dashed.

    • Palacegalleryratio [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      Patriotic Famous Cartoonists in tatters right now

  • segfault11 [any]@hexbear.net
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    ah

    well!

    nevertheless,

    • SexUnderSocialism [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      Ol’ Donny wriggled his way out of yet another jam. trump-who-must-go

  • Hestia [she/her, fae/faer]@hexbear.net
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    Similar vibe as

    donald trump is my new favorite cryptid

  • FortifiedAttack [any]@hexbear.net
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    This reminds me of the “Kim Jong Un is dead” rumors and I find it funny as fuck.

    juche-rose

    • moss_icon [comrade/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      Actually both he and Putin are dead and every time they make a public appearance it’s CGI. I read it on r/conspiracy so it must be true.

  • BeanisBrain [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    This awakened a long-dormant memory of the Conservapedia founder insisting for years that Castro had secretly died and been replaced by a body double (this was before Castro’s actual death, of course)

  • cricbuzz [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    5 days ago

  • Ildsaye [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    fry Not sure whether to root for his whims continuing to create messes for the empire, or for the fissures in his coalition his demise might open up

    • Speaker [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
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      Dead Trump helps heal the divide because he becomes a pure sign to which all and every effort can be dedicated without the crude flesh to fuck it up for personal vengeance.

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