Russian President Vladimir Putin has suffered an emabarassing setback as his feared Satan 2 nuclear arsenal failed four out of five missile tests, according to arms experts and satellite imagery from the launch site.

High-resolution satellite images of the launch pad at Russia’s Plesetsk test site, where the RS-28 Sarmat intercontinental ballistic missile exploded, shows extensive damage.

A crater approximately 60 meters wide at the launch silo at the Plesetsk Cosmodrome in northern Russia, along with visible damage in the surrounding area that was not present in images taken earlier in the month.

  • Soup@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I’m sorry the hwhat?!

    I know that a nuke would literally create a hell on earth but there’s no way you can name the fucking thing Satan and not be the bad guy.

  • zcd@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    Everyone said I was daft to build missile in Russia, but I built it all the same, just to show them. It blew up on the launchpad. So I built a second one. That blew up on the launchpad. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then blew up on the launchpad. But the fourth one stayed airborne! And that’s what you’re going to get lad, the stupidest named missile in all of Russia

  • Nomecks@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    Who would have thought that simply robbing an entire nation and giving all the proceeds to your corrupt friends would lead to an inability to manufacture practically everything? TIL

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      And I bet the ones who had an issue with corruption tended to be more competent than those who were ok with it, biasing those who sent to gulags or slipped out of open windows towards those who could compensate for the corruption.

  • ms.lane@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Try to copy Ukrainian missile from 58 years ago

    Fail

    Second greatest military in the world!

    • Bizzle@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Second greatest military in the world

      I think they might be second best in Russia by now lmfao

    • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml
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      2 months ago

      Try to copy Ukrainian missile from 58 years ago

      When both Russia and Ukraine were part of the USSR?

      Second greatest military in the world!

      The USSR hasn’t existed for >30 years, since then, Ukraine and Russia have done little but feed on its corpse. Does anyone honestly think modern Russia has a better military than China?

        • Vilian@lemmy.ca
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          2 months ago

          True the engineering were always done In Ukraine, Russia just got carried by the others nations

        • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml
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          2 months ago

          The USSR couldn’t have achieved a fraction of what it did without all its SSRs working together.

          Hell it probably wouldn’t have survived getting invaded by every country with a military after WWI without both Russia and Ukraine.

      • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
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        2 months ago

        Good point. Failing to copy your own missile would be even worse, though.

        Does anyone honestly think modern Russia has a better military than China?

        A good number of people did until early 2022. It looked a lot better on paper.

        • Trigger2_2000@sh.itjust.works
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          2 months ago

          A good number of people did until early 2022. It looked a lot better on paper.

          You are technically correct, the best kind of correct.

          • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
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            2 months ago

            I mean the jokes comes from somewhere.

            To try to be less technical, I’d go as far as saying it was a double-digit percentage of public commenters. I remember because I was there thinking how dumb that is.

        • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml
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          2 months ago

          A good number of people did until early 2022. It looked a lot better on paper.

          Did it? I remember a ton of propaganda about Putin and Russia going back to the Obama era, but then they’d show off stuff the USSR had developed to fight a war in Germany/Ukraine against late 1900s American equipment and tactics.

          Whereas China was showing off their modern fighters, tank and ship production, and an entire branch of the military dedicated to missiles, and greater numbers than any other military, all designed to fight their next war; defending against/driving the US out of it’s back yard.

          • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
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            2 months ago

            If you’re talking about the whole “human wave” thing in WWII, the ex-Nazis made that up for their memoirs. The old AskHistorians subreddit went into it once; basically the USSR fought the same way everyone else did.

            I think the smart money was still on China post 2010 or so, but there was actual debate. They had a lot of old weapon stocks, and a still respectable population, if not as huge as China’s.

            • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml
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              2 months ago

              If you’re talking about the whole “human wave” thing in WWII, the ex-Nazis made that up for their memoirs.

              Ironically, there actual cases of human-wave like attacks in WWII, notably banzai charges by Japan and MacArthur’s Walking Fire.

              • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
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                2 months ago

                Walking Fire is new to me. It sounds like it’s pretty much an older term for suppressive fire during an advance, from a quick search. Do you have an example of it leading to massive attrition like that?

                The Japanese liked to do it as a last resort sometimes, that’s definitely true, and it was the plan if the home islands were invaded. In practice, I have no idea what proportion of those civilians drilling with melee weapons would have been dumb enough to try it IRL, though.

        • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
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          2 months ago

          No, the .ml moment would be something like “don’t believe your lying CIA eyes, all the non-Western nations are working together in beautiful anti-imperialist harmony and very competent”.

          This seems like a normal take from someone who happens to be on .ml.

          • fuckingkangaroos@lemm.ee
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            2 months ago

            Most propaganda isn’t that obvious. It often seems normal and a lot of it is actually based on the truth.

        • ArxCyberwolf@lemmy.ca
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          2 months ago

          I expected a .ml to show up huffing copium when I saw this thread, wasn’t disappointed. So predictable.

          • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml
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            2 months ago

            It’s copium to acknowledge that Ukraine and Russia were part of the same country 58 years ago, and that modern Russia and Ukraine are able to achieve far less than the USSR was? This is evidenced by both countries primarily fighting with 30+ year old weapons.

            I guess basic historical literacy is tankie shit now.

      • YeetPics@mander.xyz
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        2 months ago

        Ever consider rooting for a team that isn’t fascist?

        It can be great fun, trust me.

  • LouNeko@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Really hard to adhere to quality if money is being pocketed at every corner and then spend outside the hellhole you created.

  • wheelsbot@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    I’m sorry, the what missile? I know there’s already “hellfire” missiles, but proclaiming a sequel to Lucifer Morningstar seems a bit silly.

  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Russia used to have some of the most advanced rocket science labs and physics programs in the world.

    This is a truly sorry state of affairs for a country that has been strip mined from within.

        • fuckingkangaroos@lemm.ee
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          2 months ago

          I have to disagree. Ukraine is getting hurt, but they’re pretty successfully fighting off Russia. They sank a lot of Russia’s Black Sea fleet despite not having their own, caused nuclear-sized explosions in Russia, destroyed hundreds and hundreds of military jets and helicopters, took out several fucking AWACS, destroyed tens of thousands of armored Russian vehicles, killed hundreds of thousands of troops invading their home, developed very successful new weapons systems, held Russian territory for over a month.

          The Kremlin has dragged the Russian economy into the dirt and the only “help” they’ll get after their barbaric land grab fails is one-sided deals with the CCP and India. Meanwhile, Ukraine has already received many billions of dollars worth of support from many different countries, and is on a path to membership in maybe the most valuable economic bloc on the planet.

          Ukraine is getting beat up, but Russia is being destroyed.

          • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            The Kremlin has dragged the Russian economy into the dirt and the only “help” they’ll get after their barbaric land grab fails is one-sided deals with the CCP and India.

            Seems like they’ve been doing a brisk and lucrative trade in fossil fuels with those two, plus Korea and Japan and Turkey. But that’s what is driving a sharp divide between eastern and western bloc nations. Definitely witnessing a reconfiguration, with Russia looking more like China’s Canada. But its deeply naive to believe Russian oligarchs aren’t profiting handsomely from the exchange.

            Ukraine is getting beat up, but Russia is being destroyed.

            The folks insisting that China is going to waltz in and claim Russia seem blissfully ignorant to mass privatization of Ukrainian public lands and capital. Ukraine is being balkinized in real time.

        • Vilian@lemmy.ca
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          2 months ago

          Their economy is growing while Russia is shrinking, and Russia started all of that

  • isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de
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    2 months ago

    ok slightly unrelated but the satellite pictures have an insane resolution for having been taken from, you know, space

    The pics

    Just imagine what the government has if that’s what’s available commercially to the public

    • Vilian@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      That’s what happens when you start the war, people who have the capabilities to build it are also the first to get out of the country

    • InvertedParallax@lemm.ee
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      1 month ago

      I would be absolutely terrified of it.

      If I lived in Russia.

      Thing could blow up and throw radioactive material everywhere.

    • chellomere@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Not so sure. What if these 4/5 nukes explode on the launch pad? Even if this is in a remote area you’ll cause some damage to your own country.

        • Vilian@lemmy.ca
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          2 months ago

          They aren’t even shooting Ukraine nuclear plants afraid of retaliation from NATO, nuclear is even worse

      • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml
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        2 months ago

        Most nukes are designed such that they only create a nuclear blast when detonated electronically.

        We’ve had nukes fall out of airplanes and explode, or nuclear-tipped missiles explode in the silo, without a nuclear blast.

        • Anarch157a@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          All of those happened before the modern safeguards were adopted by the US. We’re lucky none of them went super-critical. We just don’t know for sure if the Soviet leftovers Russia has were upgraded to the same atandards.

          • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml
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            2 months ago

            All of those happened before the modern safeguards were adopted by the US.

            Which modern safeguards are you talking about? There’s been ~32 official broken arrow incidents between 1950 and 1980, and multiple safeguards were tried during that period. Modern 2 point detonation safety goes back to the early 60s

            We just don’t know for sure if the Soviet leftovers Russia has were upgraded to the same atandards.

            We do know the soviets had their own share of accidents. I wasn’t able to find any info on soviet nuclear weapon design safety mechanisms, but I feel like we’d have seen at least one nuclear blast if they didn’t have them.

    • would_be_appreciated@lemmy.ml
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      2 months ago

      Yeah, this is the wildest headline. “Don’t fear it, it only works 20% of the time!” Both the US and Russia have somewhere around 1700 known deployed nuclear warheads able to be launched from air, land, and sea. 20% is still 340 nuclear bombs, all of which are substantially larger than the ones dropped in Japan.

      The fucking audacity to downplay nuclear war.