Daaaaad! 🙄

A+ Dad joke.

Porn.

40, it took me ten minutes to grab my stuff and actually leave. And yeah, unpaid, commutes aren’t usually paid in the US.

I hate how early it gets dark, but I did get the third shift achievement of clocking out at 1:30 am and getting home at 1:20 am this morning, so that’s kinda neat.

Wait, what happened to chubby emu and medlife crisis?

Last Christmas is also in the all-surrounding Christmas playlist, I’m in the US and I’ve got friends who play Whamageddon every year. I’m reminded that they play by their posts on socials about when they inevitably lose the game.

You say brainrot like it’s something bad.

I love how so many people clearly didn’t read the entire post, lol.

That’s $125/hr. That’s a hell of a lot more than I get paid, but at least I get breaks. And most of the time I’m not called slurs.

I think they’ve gotten better, or the ones a lot of people are familiar with are just kinda miserable. I’m most familiar with the ones from when I worked at Disney’s Animal Kingdom like fifteen years ago. They were texturally kinda strange and would get mushy at the top partway through an American-sized soda. They used those straws because the regular plastic ones could have been harmful to some of the animals in the park and I was lead to believe that those straws were pretty common in zoos in general.

Hooters’ wing sauce is actually pretty good. I used to be able to buy it in my local grocery store and I’d toss veggie nuggets in it. And I suspect as long as it’s still hot by the time you get it (bit of a gamble I know) buffalo wings probably do better with delivery than a lot of other options.

I haven’t seen them outside of nerd spaces in years, but the hypothetical coworkers might be entertained by American Gashapon. I think the Japanese ones are always higher quality stuff than ours but there were some entertaining toy lines in those.

It’s still a heavily gendered insult in the US, possibly Canada too, but censoring doesn’t change that either way. Australia and other English speaking countries ‘cunt’ is a lot less problematic and the Internet is international so… just fucking swear on the fediverse, nobody is stopping you as long as you’re not on an instance with a word filter, lol.

I didn’t know there was an American Song Contest, and I’m an American who used to enjoy Eurovision.

… Maybe I was happier not knowing about it, lol.

There’s also FrogFind that’s a wrapper for DDG that’ll let you actually view (some of) those results on some ridiculous hardware.

My roommate does this with their cat. Now whenever anyone operates a can opener the cat comes running and MEOWS, even though in my case it’s never tuna.

No kitty, you don’t want my black beans. Stop.

She has some absolutely wild takes.

https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/2531254-aellagirl

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the bus and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this comment. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one comment. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW

You assume they wiped. Touching your asshole is gay or something.

Might be the real reason the Uber driver bright it to work, seems like an okay job if you’re someone who fosters orphaned kittens.