President Trump dialed into “Fox & Friends” on Tuesday morning and revealed his newest and truest motivation for brokering an end to the war in Ukraine: He’s worried he might not get into heaven after he dies.
“I want to try and get to heaven, if possible,” he explained. “I’m hearing I’m not doing well. I am really at the bottom of the totem pole. But if I can get to heaven, this will be one of the reasons.”
lmao?
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If Trump makes it to heaven I’m going to raise an army of the damned in hell and we’re going to invade heaven and kill god. Might do this regardless of where Trump ends up. I guess we’ll see.
I thinking liberating Hell if Trump can make it into heaven will take less time then having to invade it first if he can’t.
“I know my mother’s in heaven,” he said at a Madison Square Garden rally in October. “I’m not 100 percent sure about my father, but it’s close.”
lmao, at least he’s honest about his dad was who was literally in the KKK.
the bar is not even on the floor; it’s buried within the pits of hell
I love how Trump dials into Fox & Friends like it’s his personal therapist
Now before you go “he’s deathly ill
”, remember that old people love nothing more than saying this kind of stuff to ruin the vibesMy grandmother starts basically every conversation with “I’ll be dead soon”. She’s perfectly healthy outside of being old and may well outlive me.
Grandmothers are universally the most morbid people possible
Even if he dies, there’s plenty of weirdo Hitlerites to replace him.
He knows he’s a pedo tho. Like what the fuck
“Look, I’ve fucked a lot of child sex slaves over the years, but think about all the money I made thus proving that God favors me! If the big man didn’t want me to keep fucking child sex slaves surely he’d have given me some kind of sign or removed my wealth, right?”
The protestant ethic unbound…
I dont know why he’s worried about it. Its very much a sure thing that he will never see paradise, no matter the form.
“I’m hearing I’m not doing well." Like he opened up heaven/.com and saw his Heaven Credit Score is too low.
Edit to break the link just in case its a weird site.
He was visited by three ghosts last night
lol what
he just says the weirdest things. extremely sad that this is the funniest president the US has ever had.
he is pretty funny
“Many Such Cases” is one of the best sayings
I didn’t even know that was aTrumpism, I use it all the time
Many such cases.
They are saying it ,Everybody’s Saying it
Idk William Henry Harrison is up there for me with the whole “immediately dying” bit
That was a great bit, more presidents should do it
Yeah I’m a single-issue voter …
Absolutely senile and the biggest “yes man” of a puppet to ever sit in that office lmao
Not that that makes him any less of a war criminal as the last 40ish people in the role but w/e
lol I’m not intending this to be slander against people with narcissistic personality traits; but this is exactly what my mother in law would text my spouse to guilt her into saying “oh but you’re such a nice person!” Not saying all boomers are the same buuuuuuuut
how lucky for him that there is no heaven and he will never face divine punishment, just like 100% of the bourgeoisie
Was I a good person Jesus
No, Donald, you were an absolute bastard, now go.
the living embodiment of all seven deadly sins is worried about his place in the afterlife? damn that’s wild
And all ten commandments, and…
A bit off topic but Justin Scott made a brilliant video (~5min) discussing how the church+colonialism made people afraid they wouldn’t make it into heaven, while that very idea goes against much of what Jesus and god taught. It is well worth a watch whether or not you are Christian.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT6CWngqA/ (I don’t know how tankietube works so if someone would upload this there that would be sick.)
That share link contains trackers that link the sharer to everyone who clicks it.
Link without tracker: https://www.tiktok.com/@cypher.j/video/7539658238250290463
I think he was serious about this
