The non-caffeine Mormons are crazy as fuck. I worked with one a long time ago. He was always super chipper and overall a “nice guy.” But there’s something so unsettling about them. Every practicing Mormon I’ve ever met there’s just something off.
I saw that same guy at the gym one time at one of the bench presses. He didn’t have headphones on or anything. Still in his work clothes (blue collar stuff. Covered in oil and dirt). He just loads three plates on the bar, slides under, reps that shit, then sits there resting and does it again. No music. No phone between sets. Just like nodding to himself. Wild shit.
they’re essentially just christian fundies on steroids. having fun and whimsy isn’t allowed so they have to compensate by looking for any and all loopholes that they can use to do normal people shit. at least they’re universalists, but their heaven is fucking segregated too lmfao the joke writes itself.
maybe joseph smith came to him in a vision and told him that he’d get a pass to drink coffee if he turns himself in
Maybe even gasp a Dr. Pepper?
The non-caffeine Mormons are crazy as fuck. I worked with one a long time ago. He was always super chipper and overall a “nice guy.” But there’s something so unsettling about them. Every practicing Mormon I’ve ever met there’s just something off.
I saw that same guy at the gym one time at one of the bench presses. He didn’t have headphones on or anything. Still in his work clothes (blue collar stuff. Covered in oil and dirt). He just loads three plates on the bar, slides under, reps that shit, then sits there resting and does it again. No music. No phone between sets. Just like nodding to himself. Wild shit.
they’re essentially just christian fundies on steroids. having fun and whimsy isn’t allowed so they have to compensate by looking for any and all loopholes that they can use to do normal people shit. at least they’re universalists, but their heaven is fucking segregated too lmfao the joke writes itself.