Trump’s army parade was neither the totalitarian North Korean spectacle that critics had grimly predicted, nor the triumph of MAGA nationalism fans craved

  • mcv@lemm.ee
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    6 hours ago

    I see the lackluster parade as a victory for democracy. Democracies don’t have massive goose-stepping parades in glory of their dear leader. That’s a fascist dictator thing, and surely what Trump wanted, but what he got was the kind of parade that you get in a democracy where the military exists for defense rather than tue glorification of the generalissimo.

    Well done, military peeps.

  • roofTophopper@lemmy.world
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    6 hours ago

    Man, I sure hope he went home and realized how much of a fucking loser he is. You know he won’t though. In his head it was fantasy land North Korea type spectacle. They’ll have some post about how it was bigly and bester than any other parade and how there just have been a million people in attendance with sold out tickets.

  • PugJesus@lemmy.world
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    14 hours ago

    I had the misfortune of hearing the opinions of some conservative family on the matter on Father’s Day.

    It was the best thing since sliced bread, apparently, and Trump “deserved” it because “it’s his birthday”, while “no one” showed up for the No Kings protests.

    Don’t ever be fooled into thinking that a lackluster performance will disappoint his fans.

    • SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      That’s what the media is telling them. Fox in particular, but the networks have been downplaying No Kings.

      • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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        8 hours ago

        That and facebook and talk radio, I really wish there was a practical way to shut the bastards down without causing undue collateral. Sadly wiping out the talking heads wouldn’t amount to jack shit.

    • rayyy@lemmy.world
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      13 hours ago

      June 4 from now on will be known as “NO KINGS” day .
      The delusional right might ignore the massive protests but the tide is turning, they will disavowal their allegiances to the orange Krasnov.

  • jballs@sh.itjust.works
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    19 hours ago

    A tent managed by a beverage company handed out room-temperature bottles of an energy drink, Phorm. The flavor, called Screamin’ Freedom, tasted like hard candies dissolved in water, and an advisory on the cans warned that they were not to be consumed by minors or pregnant women.

    If we saw this in a movie, we would laugh at how overly top unreal it was.

  • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
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    20 hours ago

    The American military doesn’t train to put on parade theatre for a despot. No high stepping, no elaborate formations or movements. None of that pointless bullshit. If you see a military parade from NK or China achieving dazzling perfect performances, while impressive, that’s all it is; a visual performance. All they do is practice for those events. Those are not uniforms. They’re costumes. Those are not soldiers. They’re a dance troupe. These are completely different skillsets. Soldiers don’t need to know how to dance perfectly in formation. They storm the objective, execute the mission, and get the fuck out. You might as well send a marching band into combat, because that’s all they would become.

    It’s funny how they want to force the US military into performing flamboyant pageantry, while also kicking out the gays.

      • mcv@lemm.ee
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        6 hours ago

        To explain and expand a bit on this: Frederick the Great was likely gay or at least somewhat queer, but also a military innovator who laid the basis for Prussia’s iron discipline. Back then units were most effective when in perfect formation, but moving around the battlefield disrupted formation, hence the invention of the goose step to rapidly move units around on the battlefield without losing formation. Invented by a gay king.

        So today we’ve got homophobic dictators emulating that for pure theatre and looks, over a century after it has lost any military purpose.

    • Rekorse@sh.itjust.works
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      12 hours ago

      Thats all nice what you said but its far more likely the members of the army just didnt care as much rather than they are incapable of marching in unison.

      • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
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        11 hours ago

        I know this from experience. Perfect formation marching must be drilled constantly. The US military does not waste its time with it because it is useless beyond Basic Training.

    • SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      All I can think of, is Monty Python’s Close Order Nastiness. “We know where you’ve been, you military fairy! OOOOOH”

    • falcunculus@jlai.lu
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      17 hours ago

      The American military doesn’t train to put on parade theatre for a despot. No high stepping, no elaborate formations or movements. None of that pointless bullshi

      Marines doing the silent drill in dress uniform : 👀

      • AnalogNotDigital@lemmy.wtf
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        16 hours ago

        That’s like 20 dudes though who’s entire job is drill and ceremonies, though.

        The guys marching in this parade looked like they were forced on a group walk, and none of them looked like they wanted to be there.

        • frezik@midwest.social
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          12 hours ago

          Marching in step is basic training stuff. They know how to do it if they want to. The fact that they didn’t is very important.

          • AnalogNotDigital@lemmy.wtf
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            6 hours ago

            Totally agreed. It’s very much a statement being sent. It wasn’t even half assed. You could get a group of normal people together and in an hour get them to at least be in lock step. These guys were just walking together loosely in formation.

          • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
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            11 hours ago

            What Trump wanted far exceeds marching in step. But even just that requires regular practice, which the US military simply does not bother with. Exceptions being a few ceremonial guards.

            • frezik@midwest.social
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              11 hours ago

              Sure, but the important point is that they know how to do better than they did. They’re refusing on purpose.

                • AnalogNotDigital@lemmy.wtf
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                  6 hours ago

                  Oh, I agree with all of you guys. I think they half-assed it on purpose. I have some friends that are in some premier units in the military, and all of them have pretty much come out and said their commanders have told them they will not deploy in this country.

                  Like ‘here’s how you sabotage your gear then go home with your loved ones’ kind of talks.

                  The military is not on his side.

  • SpaceShort@feddit.uk
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    19 hours ago

    The half heartedness of the military in this parade suggests that they will be half hearted in their enforcement of the regime too. This would make it much easier to resist and overthrow the regime (or at least enforce rule by mass civil disobedience) as large sections of the military are likely to make only a token effort to suppress it.

    • frezik@midwest.social
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      12 hours ago

      Yes! I think that’s a very important hint. These guys know how to march in step. It’s drilled in to them from day one in the military. They didn’t do it, and their commanding officers aren’t making them do it.

      I’ll probably be accused of being an optimist again, but I think June 14 is when we started winning. That comes from multiple angles.

  • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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    1 day ago

    imagine joining the military to serve the country and then being used as pencil dick compensation by a draft dodging con man. and then being the focus of ridicule by half the nation

  • phantomwise@lemmy.ml
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    1 day ago

    As she and the other leftists marched, a young man, bare chested and wearing a bucket hat, approached a demonstration marshal. He seemed confused. He wanted to know where the protest for the opposite point of view could be found.

    Whaaat? 😂

    A secret service officer, trying to explain the general confusion, just sighed. “Nobody knows what’s going on.”

    I’m dead 😂 😂 😂

  • defunct_punk@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    She defended Trump’s decision to ban transgender troops from the military, and complained that Biden had subjected the military to political correctness and DEI initiatives. “The military is not a social experiment.”

    The irony of saying this statement at a self-fellating and totally unnecessary military parade is too much

  • odelik@lemmy.today
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    1 day ago

    I snorted my coffee reading this.

    A secret service officer, trying to explain the general confusion, just sighed. “Nobody knows what’s going on.”

  • Nightwingdragon@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    “Kind of lame”?

    We didn’t have our service members proudly marching in lockstep. It was a bunch of old people that could barely keep formation, “marching” (and I use that term loosely) as if they just walked out of the bar and into their first day of basic training after being drafted.

    Our “show of military strength” was a couple of old tanks creaking down the road, sounding like they were Ford Model Ts from the 1920s.

    There was no music or marching band or anything for the parade to make its way through. There was no crowd to cheer them on; it was just dead silence. My daughter’s high school graduation had better attendance and a more enthusiastic crowd.

    Not that this should be a surprise to anyone at this point, but we looked like a laughing stock on the world stage. If that parade showed off the best that the US military had to offer, our military will never be taken seriously again. Seriously. A bunch of old people and a couple of tanks that were older than they were. That’s what Trump gave. I’ve seen those carnivals that pop up from time to time in mall parking lots that had all the rigged games and unsafe rides, and they were still both cheaper than Trump’s parade and more entertaining.

    I expected Trump’s parade to be a dud, but even he outdid himself with how bad that so-called parade was. Take out all the people that were forced to attend for whatever reason, and the people who attended could probably fit in a phone booth.

    • rottingleaf@lemmy.world
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      21 hours ago

      Ah … As someone with clearly different expectations (living in Russia) I’d say everything except being unable to march in lockstep and showing Coinbase ads was kinda fine, the big costume show in Russian parades doesn’t really cause any feeling of reverence and such.

      US military doesn’t have to show anything big on parades, because it, ahem, has modern jets, nukes, air carriers in bigger numbers than some countries have infantry vehicles.

      Probably a military ceremony should be organized better, but … it’s a theater anyway. A kind of that falling out of relevance, too.