Hi,
I’m a recently cracked egg, and I figure I might as well introduce myself here.
I made it to age 31 before I figured it out. I’ve been dating a trans girl for over 3 years before realizing that I also am one, so I’m coming into it with a lot of knowledge, and as soon as my mind was opened to it I very quickly became sure of it. On the plus side, that means that I don’t have any doubts about it myself.
So far I’ve told my girlfriend, therapist, parents, and some online friends. Mostly they’ve taken it well (My therapist and girlfriend were apparently expecting it before I realized it myself), although my dad has been somewhat resistant. I’ve been trying to convince him that it’s right for me, with moderate success. I think I will be able to bring him around, with some more time. I’ve been too chicken to tell others that I know IRL, so far.
Also… now is not really a great time to be transitioning, given the current state of the world, especially the US (where I live). I think I definitely want to go ahead with it anyways, but I’ll probably take some time before I pull the trigger on a social transition, and try to prepare some things beforehand. In particular, I want to do voice training in advance, and probably work on some fashion and makeup skills so I can immediately transition my voice and surface level appearance when I social transition.
I don’t know if my new employer (starting next month) will be accepting of it, either, so maybe I want to work that job for a bit to get experience and test the waters before I decide how to proceed. I probably want to get some experience from that job before I bounce from it, so it would be ideal if they are accepting.
Welcome to the fold, sister! You’ll find your situation isn’t so rare, here. There’s plenty of experience and resources around, and I share many of your concerns! I’m on my 3rd month of HRT in my 40’s, also in the US, and also recently changed employers in the past year. It’s difficult, but you CAN do it! You can start voice training anytime, and there’s plenty of YouTube and some Discord/Matrix/Other places for practice and critiquing. You can also get 1:1 sessions online, or get local training from a speech pathologist, but find one that specializes in voice feminization! Makeup isn’t as difficult as it seems, either. You can get lessons at some places like Ulta, and there are a lot of YouTube videos for this, as well! I personally recommend Stef Sanjati’s videos, since she did this professionally and really digs into technique and explaining the reasoning behind what she does.
HRT is a pretty slow process, especially as your age increases. You can hide many of the effects for a while, too! Some of use start failing at boymode 6 months in, some are still able to pull it off up to two years in. Look into starting it sooner than later, because it’s a big change, especially mentally, and it takes so long to affect anything!
Hang in there! I’m hoping things can be salvaged here in the land of the Freedom to be Told Not to Use Any Restroom, but I’m also thinking about backup plans, and looking for ways to organize. The more of us that are vocal, the better chance we have of being heard.
Thanks!
I would definitely like to look into organizing. And I think that I will be able to handle being vocal and advocating for myself and my fellows.
I’ve looked up several voice training tutorials and I think I have a plan that will work for me to do it. I just need to put in the time to do it. I think it will be really fun for me to have better control of my voice, so that’s a strong motivator.
If you want to take e, but also want to boymode until you’re ready to be publicly out, be aware that you may need a binder depending on how much breast growth you get. I myself tried to boymode my first few months on e and failed because my boobs got too big and people noticed.
Also congrats on cracking your egg!
Currently my plan is to do my social transition all at once and to start HRT after that point. Maybe that’s naive, and maybe that will change, but for now that’s my plan.
My advice is to take steps as you feel comfortable to do so; there isn’t any wrong path. We all transition in different ways and really what is important is that you are happy.
Hello, welcome, fairly similar situation here too. I also started out on the quiet, figuring I’d let HRT cook for a while until I could flip the switch all at once. But that didn’t last long :)
Have a fun transition, and do it for yourself!
Same age here and similar timeline. I’m still figuring things out. I’m a remote worker so I can hide from my job in a lot of ways, but I’m not sure how it’ll impact my career. Feel free to checkout the /c/TransLater community as well! I’m not out to my parents or siblings - only my cis wife. I don’t think I’ll be coming out to anyone anytime soon because my family trends quite conservative.
I’m excited on your behalf!
Oh yay, that community is alive again! I just read all your posts there. I was pretty worried when I saw your post last month, but it looks like you’re getting a handle on things. Stay strong <3
<3 Thanks. It’s helping that I can start doing some things to help alleviate the dysphoria :) I have things to look forward to for now.
Hi! I’m in a similar situation, too; just coming to terms with the realization in my 40s that I’m trans and struggling with the impact it’s going to have not only on me, but also on my spouse and child, and confronting fears about the state of the country and the world and all the hate out there. I haven’t found the courage to tell anyone other than my spouse, my therapist, and a few of my online friends yet. My spouse is trying to be supportive, but she’s also feeding some of those fears by speculating about how my parents and her parents might react, etc.
