Because it pretends to be different to the centralised corporate social media platforms, whilst giving the cohesive experience of a centralised platform

You think a trans person getting death threats wouldn’t love to be able to identify as their AGAB?

No… That person wouldn’t be me, they’d be someone else…

I don’t remember him speaking like that though! :P

Maybe I’ve just played too much Shadowrun with too many Australians, but lots of them ended up speaking like that, even when they weren’t meant to be Australian! :)

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that your goal should be pragmatic blending in. What I’m saying is that when you say your goal is to pass, there’s probably more to it than that. You want to pass for some specific reason.

And it’s worth identifying what that reason is. If it’s pragmatic, then that’s what you need to be measuring. And if it’s not pragmatic, if it’s about the way you see yourself, or your own sense of validity, then wanting to pass is the symptom, not the real issue.

So here’s the thing. As long as your goal is to pass, you’ll always feel like you’re not meeting your goals (even if you are meeting them) , because that goal is based in fear of consequences and in self image.

Ask yourself why you want to pass. Is it to have more experiences like the one with the woman in the line? Where you can just exist and have regular day to day interactions with folk? Cause you’re achieving that, whether or not you believe you pass.

Shift your goals is my advice :)

I don’t drive. At work and at home I have multiple fast food options within a very short walking distance

Because it’s fast… Because I can take it home… Because it doesn’t feel like I’m trashing something nice when I order it to be delivered…

Many years ago on reddit, you could get given gold. It gave you paid benefits. My comments earned me literally years worth of gold, and my karma was similarly increasing.

Then I came out as trans. Suddenly the gold stopped and my karma stagnated

That kind of bias is built in to the karma system. It doesn’t just punish shit takes, it also sidelines visible minorities

Just call it the X social media site

Imagine my surprise when “What could Hamas do to end the violence” wasn’t just an innocent question…

Australian/British slang. It’s a disparaging term for Americans

Starts with rhyming slang

American = Yank Yank = Tank Tank = Septic Tank Septic Tank = Seppo

As I said, yes, a lemmy that bans folk like you is a lemmy that is doing something right

“What could Hamas do to end the violence?”

Nothing else.

And I got immediately banned.

Making excuses for genocide being something that gets you banned is a lemmy I’m fine with

Seppo is a really unfortunate name…

Yeah, it wasn’t much use in helping cis folk understand us. But it will help them normalise us, which tbh, I think is more important

It was nice to see an affirming and positive piece of media from a big name actor. It didn’t go as deep as I was hoping, but that’s OK. The point isn’t to explain everything, it’s too normalise

That sounds like my kind of world

Asking Cheddar to put things on hold with Gouda doesn’t help anything, but you have every right to be hurt, and absolutely need to have that discussion.

The issue isn’t that Cheddar has a new partner and thus you have a new metamour, the issue is that you took things slowly with Swiss due to Cheddar needing time and space to process it, only to then not be given the same consideration or opportunity for discussion from her. And that’s what needs to be talked about and addressed.

Asking her to put things on hold won’t fix the problem of you not being considered or consulted, all it does is turn it in to a petty revenge thing, and create more problems (as you’ve seen).

Give her your blessing to keep things going with Gouda, but also, let her know how much she hurt you when she didn’t give you the same consideration she asked you to give her. If she takes that onboard and treats it seriously, then you’ll get through this. If she is dismissive of that, then the issue is in your relationship with her, not in her relationship with Gouda

your either targeted by the system, or you benefit from it,

And either way, you think about the system in question, but your original post still says that the only people who think about race are racists, ignoring the reality that people targeted by racism have no choice but to think about race. Thinking about race because racist systems target you does not make you racist, and disempowers the targets of racism trying to address the issue. Downplaying that experience is a racist dogwhistle. I need you to edit/clarify that post to include some of the context you’ve provided in your later posts, to make it clear that it’s not a dog whistle, otherwise, I will have to remove the post