yes, but it never stops being funny so thanks for the reminder
love to watch the real-time devaluation of this goofy shit
It’s so silly, the miracles are so tame, but they are also in a bind, because we can’t just stop getting saints. They must’ve focus grouped the shit out of this
Hey, at least that kid doesn’t have to eat an all liquid diet anymore
Group sainthood is a thing. For example, 2000 of the priests executed by anarchists during the Spanish civil war were proposed to sainthood, of which 233 were canonised in one event in 2001 by pope JP2. There were even some controversies about them being fascist shits but JP2 told the malcontents he don’t care and shut up (he also lied, he does care, he very much liked nazis).
There is also the Ten Thousand Martyrs, allegedly crucified on the orders of emperor Diocletian, but even church can’t agree if they even existed or it’s just a legend (of course in reality it’s just a legend that went viral as a meme in XIV and XV century).Neat! I meant focusgroup as in they tested large groups of people to see the public would respond to the idea of a saint from the 00’s and who that should be. I’m imagining a cardinal in a room with nonas and a one-way mirror with the pope on the other side.
“Now-a what if-a we got a saint and he said as a little Bambino?”
The nonas murmur
“What if he was-a a little rascal?”
One of them takes off a shoe, ready to throw it
“What if he was-a a good boy, never did nothing wrong?”
…
“What if he helped his nona with logging on to Facebook to see what her children are doing?”
Standing ovation. The cardinal gives a thumbs-up to the mirror, the pope returns it, the cardinal doesn’t see it.
I like it when all the things I don’t like neatly combine themselves into one thing.
It’s a miracle!
Patron saint of influencers
youth pastor voice Y’know who was the first influencer? Jesus. [turns chair backwards]
soros your shitposts have been off the chain lately, keep it up
I’m so happy that you are back. I know you’ve been back for a long while, but I just wanted to say it and this was a banger to say it on
Mr. Beast has a small statue of this kid in his house.
I sped read over it. My condolences to his family. Did the 15 year old do something cringe worthy of note? Seems like the pope is just being kind to what is no doubt a grieving family.
He was skilled in using Dreamweaver, Java, C++, and Ubuntu.[50]
Ubuntu
Am I supposed to dislike him?
Well it’s not just about the pope being kind. This kid is supposedly important to the church because he made a website that documents every recorded instance of Eucharistic miracles, i.e. all those times when the bread and wine totally turned into real human flesh and blood (trust me bro). which is weird to me, because isn’t that supposed to happen every time?
I don’t think anyone is really hating on this dead child, personally I find it a bit sad that he was indoctrinated to the degree that he spent his very short time on Earth on some ridiculous cult bullshit
Unsolicited theology
which is weird to me, because isn’t that supposed to happen every time?
Nah, the species of the host remain after transubstiation normally, as in the physically observable qualities of the bread and wine. The transubstiation happens metaphysically, which only makes sense if you detach the meaning of an object “being” something (being bread or being the body of Christ in this case) from what you observe physically. The thing that sets the eucharistic miracles apart is that both the physical and metaphysical parts of the host are transformed.
Makes sense though, if Catholics always expected the bread to turn into a bleeding piece of flesh then it would make Mass very disappointing when that hasn’t happened in a regular Sunday Mass in 2000-ish years.
because isn’t that supposed to happen every time?
Do you want a 30-years war? Because this is how you get a 30-years war
I don’t hate him. He was well liked by his community. I hate the church for elevating him to sainthood because of desperate poor people attributing miracles to his lifeless body while the vatican sits on billions of dollars.
No not at all, he seems like he was a nice guy and my condolences to the family. The title is just me trying to describe what I view as funny about getting a modern saint. It is the church side I dislike, but the kid seemed like he was better than Ill ever be
He’d be a 33 year old tech bro who advocates for eugenics or something today if he didn’t die in 2006.
https://uscatholic.org/articles/201310/how-many-saints-are-there/
Revisions to the canonization process in 1983 ensured we will see more saints in the future. John Paul II eliminated the office of Promoter of the Faith, or, as it’s more commonly known, the Devil’s Advocate, a canon lawyer tasked with arguing against a person’s possible canonization. Consequently, John Paul II canonized more saints than the popes from the previous 500 years combined.
The boomers turned sainthood into a participation trophy lmao.
I mean, he beatified the Ustase bishop, Alojzije Stepinac, and wanted to canonize him, so he set the bar so low it includes nazis (Bededict nor Francis did not continued the process though).
Acutis was about to release Vatican v3.0 to rectify the wokeness of Vatican 2 until they assassinated him
At least he died too early to get into Bitcoin or effective altruism. He was probably just a history nerd who was good at WordPress.
Ok wait edit I actually real his wiki page and his tomb is expeptionally weird and creepy.
his tomb is expeptionally weird and creepy.
I wouldn’t expect anything less for a saint. I learned about the following from “Hellboy (2004)” of all things. Emphasis mine.
A reliquary (also referred to as a shrine, by the French term châsse, and historically also a type of phylactery) is a container for relics. A portable reliquary may be called a fereter, and a chapel in which it is housed a feretory or feretery.
Relics may be the purported or actual physical remains of saints, and may comprise bones, pieces of clothing, or some object associated with saints or with other religious figures.
a type of phylactery)
oh shit oh fuck
Fortunately, catholic necromancy success rate is so far: “1, unverifable”
Meanwhile there are probably south american priests who got tortured to death by operation condor who the church still wont acknowledge
But I guess why would Francis acknowledge these guys when he was probably sending lists of names to the Argentine Junta
I don’t think they’ve acknowledged any of them
Now I know who to pray to when I’m debugging legacy code.
You can also pray to the patron saint of computer, the internet, computer programmers and computer users: St. Isidore of Seville who died in 636
I don’t know if he’s actually a techbro, but he’s definitely going to be the saint of techbros
Youre telling me its that easy to do a miracle? Mama, I pray to lenin to make me hungry so i can eat #blessed
You gotta be sick first.
Personally I’m a bigger fan of the second miracle
The miracle attributed to his intercession occurred in 2022 when a Costa Rican woman named Valeria had fallen off her bike and suffered a brain haemorrhage with doctors giving her a low chance of survival. Valeria’s mother, Lilliana, prayed for the intercession of Acutis and visited his tomb. The same day, Valeria began to breathe independently again and was able to walk the next day with all evidence of the haemorrhage having disappeared.
I like how you can be the most devout, knowledgable, humble, religious Christian, and you can still be gunned down on the streets by a drunk guy and die an excruciating 15 hour death, while some random blind kid in a remote village will receive a miraculous recovery
The first gamer saint!
In all honest, it’s interesting to see a Millenial saint. And it’s nice that the kid doesn’t have any more pancreatic problems and the woman healed from her accident. I recently went to a Catholic place and there was some stuff talking about Acutis there, and besides it there were books about Marx, Hegels and Louis Althusser, mostly religious stuff translated, for some reason.
Cool! And yeah that is nice
Yeah i also sometimes see books about Marx and especially Lenin and Stalin in religious places, but the author was always Volkogonov, Montefiore or something like this.
Neither of his parents were religious.
Are Catholics Mormons now?
-–
The Wiki page pissed me off. I just wanted to know what miracles he’s supposed to have done. I used the quote tag but I had to rewrite everything to be easier to read. Sheesh.
Who is Carlos Acutis? Pope accepts second miracle - Deseret News
Since his death, the pope has recognized two miraculous healings that were attributed to him. The Washington Post reported that “In 2020, the church recognized his first miracle, involving a Brazilian boy who was allegedly healed from a pancreatic birth defect after his mother prayed to Acutis.”
“The second miracle, announced Thursday, reportedly involved a woman from Costa Rica who in 2022 prayed at Acutis’s tomb in Assisi, Italy, after her daughter fell from her bicycle, suffering severe head trauma that doctors said she was not likely to survive,” noting that the girl’s hemorrhage then disappeared.
wait why were they praying to some random kid before he became a saint?
Most likely, post factum inventing reason for church politics or pope whim. Officially, church often beatifies people as preparation to sainthood so this gives a hint to faithful “this person can now be legally object of idolatry” and to fabricate miracles.
Both incidents are more than likely misdiagnosis. The evidence is so fucking flimsy, it’s fucking desperate
Neither of his parents were religious.
Are Catholics Mormons now?
They could’ve been chreasters.
The timeline of his death is insane. He goes to a doctor for a sore throat one day and 10 days later he’s braindead from lukemia.
If anything the rapid death of 15 year old child from a random medical illness should shake your faith in god not strengthen it
god is a transactional entity that i reward with my belief based on my immediate experience of life
“Today, prognoses have drastically improved; 10-year survival rates are estimated to be approximately 80-90% according to one study.[7][6][8]”
maybe but with 10 days between symptoms showing up and death doctors will need to be pretty on the ball and not send people home with cough drops. Not much margin for error there.
I remember being a kid in Catholic school and learning about how saints have to have 3 miracles attributed to them to be canonized. At that age I was like okay I can buy this guy Jesus was doing miracles 2000 years ago but theres no way saints are doing all these miracles constantly in the modern day that’s just silly
My favorite is when Mary supposedly appeared to some kids and told them three secrets, then instructed them to reveal two of them. The Vatican then forced one of the girls to reveal the third secret after she refused to, saying Mary said it wasn’t ready.
Very serious institution https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Secrets_of_Fátima
Fatima is the direct reason church now don’t belive any visions and want to curbstomp the visionaries because it can spiral out of their control and create nasty theological and more importantly political problems. While in medieval times people like bishop Thietmar had roughly 3 miraculous visions per year in his dreams and nobody batted an eye.
I also feel like that’s such a silly requirement. Why three? “Alright, we all agree that God almighty intervened in our earthly affairs on your behalf, but if you wanna be remembered you better get him to do it twice more. We wanna be sure it wasn’t a fluke when god helped you.”
It’s either that or
“Yeah we all get a miracle every now and again, don’t freak out about it. I remember when I had my first, back in '68 I think, wild times. Oh wait you’ve had three? Why didn’t you say so, right this way Mr. Saint”Why three?
One might be for the devil. Two for the show. Three go!
One for the money, two for the better green
3, 4-methylenedioxy-methamphetamine
Three is a powerful magical number.
Prime numbers are basically divine.
2 is also a prime number 🤓
But you are right, that is a good explanation. Still funny we need more than one
