Some of those who work delis
Are the same that throw smellies
To the tune of “fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me”
Footlongs, aren’t only five dollars
Footlongs, aren’t only five dollars
Spicey Italiiiaaaaannnnnnm
Assault with a deli weapon
The real tragedy is how stale that bread is; Subway™ crust isn’t supposed to do that. Is it too late to rescue the lunchmeat and start over?
Never again
Also, the sandwitch was wrapped up. So theres no mustard or onion
That’s what gets me about all of this. Not only was crying about onions and mustard the weakest most pathetic shit ever, even that was grossly exaggerated. These ICE losers are the most pathetic people alive.
AND he was wearing body armor.
Clearly, they should be wearing bulletproof and sandwichproof armor.
I can’t believe I need to ask this, but… is that an actual quote?
I don’t think so, but he did say while testifying: “He did it. He threw the sandwich,” that the sandwich “exploded all over” his chest and he felt it through his ballistic vest, and that “You could smell the onions and the mustard”.
The sandwich never left its wrapper.
The defense attorney finished closing arguments with “This case, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is about a sandwich”
They don’t know, you don’t think so. I think… This exemplifies how absurd this
shitsandwich show is.
I don’t think so, but it is close to what he was trying to claim when he testified.
In a Sandwich vs. “Ballistic Vest” fight, the Vest will win every time. He might not even feel it. So he can’t claim any physical damages. That means he had to make some sort of claim of mental trauma, which was supposed to be, what? Some sort of PTSD following the horror of the attack, due to the aroma of mustard and onions?
Then there was video evidence of the sandwich in the street, AFTER the attack, and it was still fully wrapped (Give that Subway employee a raise for having a tight hand). He couldn’t have smelled that mustard and onions, because they were never exposed. That means the ICE agent committed perjury on the stand, under oath.
Lock. Him. Up.
I think he’s throwing shade, but you can never be sure
I’m buying a sub sandwich tomorrow to scare an ICE agent (disclaimer: I’m in Canada and will not actually come into contact with an ICE agent)
ABCDEF GUY
Removed by mod
The FBI crime lab didn’t even do any forensic analysis on whether the sub measured up to the full 12 inches or not.
It was such a shoddy investigation.
Was it technically meeting the standard of what is known as bread?
We might never know. Subway has been accused of bread shenanigans in the past (in addition to short-selling their footlongs).
At least a fair few of us learned a new word today
