Speaking as a pizza guy, we know and don’t care. I’m not here to judge you for your order or how haggard you look when you open the door. I only judge you based on how well you tip for the service I provide. My store has several regular customers who essentially use us for meal prep and order enough food to last a week. I couldn’t care less about how much you order or how many people you’re feeding. If you’re not a shitty customer, you’ll likely be forgotten as soon as I’m on my next delivery.
I always wanted to be a delivery man. If they invite me and I get to play with their console and eat some of the food.
To anyone who feels the need to justify their order to their delivery person: don’t.
I guarantee that they’ll think about you more if you pull shit like this.
Literally just give them the money, take the pizza, wish them a good night and close the fucking door.
I promise that they don’t give any shits what you do with the pizza. Just tip appropriately for your region.
Not true. I had ordered from two different places to a hotel room and they arrived at the same time. They were definitely confused and gave me weird looks. Worth it.
In the scenario you describe, you are strange. So, I don’t think that’s unjustified.
It’s ok though, we like strange around here.
Will a good tip by their silence?
Depends entirely on its… csi:m glasses on… delivery.
I make my own pizza so no one needs to know how many people are or are not eating them.
while living off post in hampton roads I visited a buddy’s apartment and he ordered pizza. The pizza guy didn’t even knock just walked and said “Hi Ben, what are you playing tonight?” and set out the pizzas and breadsticks on the table, grabbed a slice, then sat down on the couch while ben packed a bong hit for him.
I was like, whoa, uh… and ben was like: “Yeah, he’s also my dealer.”
That sounds awesome! You only have to order a pizza whenever you want some weed and then you have weed AND PIZZA and if he’s not a weirdo then hanging out with the guy when he comes could be pretty fun too. Like a kind of a friend on demand service with weed and pizza but little to no obligation beyond that.
I once played video games at a friend’s place and we were smoking lots of weed. He had told me a friend was going to come over later. So later that day the door bell rings, I can see him opening the door from where I’m sitting. Female cop stands in front of door and I briefly panicked.
“Hi Julia, come in.” (to me) “Let’s order pizza.”
I’ll never forget this image of a German cop in uniform smoking a bong.
I’m calling bullshit. No way a cop would do that in uniform. You’re lying to deny us the pleasure of the full story where the uniform came off. We see through your german tricks.
That’s way more laid back than most cops in my experience.
Weirdly I have a few cops in my family, just ended up like that it’s not really a family thing, and they can never leave their work at the station.
wunderbar
That’s a smart way to do weed delivery if you can get away with it and have orders packed before you leave the house.
Pizza
delivery guydealerI mean… pizza guy can have friends too, he’s human!
valid. but I never expected a pizza guy to just walk into someone else’s apartment and start laying out the food lol
Oh absolutely. Seems really chill tho
When my wife and kids are way i love nothing more than ordering a pizza and eating it all gradually throughout the night
Am I missing something? Empty house and pizza sounds like a perfect evening to me.
I thought this was a meme about the lady shouting to an empty house so that the delivery guy will think she has company, in case he’s a predator.
And the deliver guy knows exactly what’s going on and thus is hurt that she finds him threatening.
… Or I could be way off base because I didn’t find my explanation funny, just like ‘slice of life’ kinda post.
There’s probably a way more obvious explanation that I’m missing…
I assumed it was that she ordered a lot of pizza and doesn’t want to be judged for her choices, so she’s pretending it’s for a lot of people
That could make sense, but why does the delivery guy cry then?
He might be embarrassed for her in that scenario - but i cant imagine he’d be brought to tears.
Maybe she ordered more than reasonable for a single person … ?
It’s not unusual to order more just to reheat it the next day, especially if there’s extra delivery fee or a minimal amount you need to pay for them to deliver
Yeah, I think you might be onto something.
Though you have to be kinda self-cenetered to think that the delivery person would give a single damn about how much pizza you ordered…
Yeah, it’s definitely the ‘pretend you’re not alone’ part that’s pushing it into cringe territory, though even that shouldn’t be enough to even metaphorically bring a delivery peson to tears …
The delivery guy probably gets to keep the pizza if there is no recipient
So you’re saying that the person in the meme did not order the pizza but wants to keep it and tries to accomplish that by pretending there are other people with them? I’m confused, why wouldn’t they just take it without saying anything? How would the delivery person know they are not the one who ordered?
I interpreted both messages as said by the pizza guy
1-st one he says that Pizza’s here
2-nd one he realises that nobody’s there and that he will be able to eat the pizza
And the joke would be that he couldn’t afford the pizza with his very low wage so he sheds a tear of joy
That is the wrong interpretation though. It is the person in the house pretending to have friends when the pizza delivery guy arrives.
What about the “I” in “I shout to the the empty house”? This would mean that the pizza guy refers to himself in first person in the first line but in the third person in the second line which seems very unusual to me.
But why does it always come with a doughnut hole in the middle?
The mistake there is not recording a multi-layered clip of yourself responding in different voices. Time out a delay at the start so you can hit play, start walking, make the announcement and get the “reply” as you open the door.
It’s the little details to sell the delusion that puts a spark of genuine fear into the drivers’ eyes.
Kevin McCallister likes the way you think
You could definitely automate this with voice commands in Home Assistant
Alexa play happy family sounds… :(
Playing “totally_real_friends4pizza_delivery.mp3”:
Ideally you wanna hire actors for that.
This guy with hiring money…
Just invite some homeless people into your home and offer them free pizza for their service.
What could go wrong?
Lady, I don’t give a shit about your theatrics, I only judge if you’re a lousy tipper.*
*in the US.
Whenever I delivered a pizza to an empty house or to someone who didn’t order a pizza it was great, cause I got to have it. Was one of the few perks of that job.
That is not what the OP is about though.
Could you explain to me what OP intended to say, please?
OP is shouting, “pizza is ready!” in their own place of living, despite nobody else being there, to give the illusion of having friends/ company to the pizza person and not appear to be ordering pizza entirely for themselves.
How often did that happen?
When I did it, weekend closing time always had drunk college kids falling asleep after they ordered. Someone went home with food every night on Friday and Saturday
As many times as they fake called their pizza joint.
I just woke up and am slow and bleary-eyed.
I could have sworn the second sentence said a bear ran down with the delivery man’s face - because he knew.
And I was a tad shocked.
Is it because she’s scared of the delivey guy or because she’s embarrassed to eat the pizza alone?
The latter
The former. Delivery guy cries because he realizes that he is perceived as a predator and that he will be perceived as such for the rest of his life.
Yeah the delivery guy crying makes no sense otherwise, right?
Maybe he’s being promoted to victim.
1 pizza alone is only a little sad.
20 pizzas while alone is when you’ve really hit rock bottom.
What exactly is sad about ordering a pizza whilst being alone? Never struck me as something unusual.
I see the 20 pizza part.
It’s called meal prepping!
It’s fine if you buy them as frozen pizzas. Then it’s just grocery shopping.
-cheesy crust on the third ? -oh, that is a resounding yes
My boy Andy over here is saying you have something called chicken poppers?
Something perhaps subtle about that sketch: he orders pineapple on all three pies. There is no way you have a party wherein every guest is okay with pineapple on pizza. So the pizza guy probably could’ve figured it out from that!
