"How do I find friends?" is the most common question German influencers get asked on social media. Loneliness has become a pressing issue in Germany, with far-reaching consequences.
There’s no place to socialize though. I wouldn’t know where I could meet people my age (20s) that doesn’t cost money or includes activities that I don’t like (e.g. clubbing).
There are so many places that cost nothing or very little, especially in Germany. Don’t get into the doomer mindset that is so prevalent on the internet, that tell you that it’s the same suburban car infested shithole that is north america. There are so many clubs (Vereine) that struggle to find new members, but you’re right that you often won’t meet too many people around your age, it’s mostly older people and children, but that also depends on what the club is for. Be the change you want to see in the world.
honestly as much as I feel similarly, it hurts me to know people your age are struggling in such a way.
My 20s were filled with opportunity, things to do, and it didn’t even break the bank. My university had a bar connected to the building, I think pints of alright beer were about £1.50.
I really hope things get better soon. Y’all should at least have the options of things like I did, yet half the things around me closed down or are priced out of range now!
I mean, everything got more expensive. And I do hear that more and more youth centres and such are closing down, taking away places to socialise for young people in particular.
What has disappeared for me personally though is school/uni as a place to socialise at. I’ve never had the need before to search out specific places to meet people. It just happened organically. Now I don’t even know where I‘d even find new people. I’m stuck with just the few I knew back in school and uni and they mostly don’t live anywhere close by.
You’re in the awful moment after college. I’m 40 and this happened to anyone I know as well. Older people than me will tell you the same. It really sucks.
So, I’m gonna give a few suggestions where you don’t have to spend any money and don’t involve clubbing, which is not cheap either.
Plenty of group activities don’t cost anything and are the most fulfilling…
Just one quick note. Don’t concern yourself too much with age groups. People are organised by age groups in school. Everywhere else the organisation is mutual interests or common goals. And then you’ll go there and find people of all ages.
So…
Find projects of your interest where you can volunteer.
If you like animals, give some of your time to local animal shelters and animal associations.
If you want to give Nature a hand, volunteer to go plant trees on the weekend, plenty of groups outthere always asking for more to come.
Check the activities at your local library, most of them are state funded and free of charge to participate in.
The same goes for Cultural Associations. Plenty of them have state funded events that are free of charge to attend.
There are also amateur groups that you can join. Just find anything of your liking. If you like to draw, almost any place has a “drink and draw” event or an Urban Sketchers group. Nobody will care if you don’t consume at these events. And if you think you can’t draw, nobody cares. People of all levels of skill show up. I know this because I go to them and nobody cares how well you draw. As long as you like drawing, looking at drawings or watching people drawing you’re always welcomed at them.
If drawing is not of your interest but you like singing, there’s for sure an amateur singing group near you. My girlfriend met a group of funny and energetic elderly ladies this way. She loves their company. And nobody young or old is there to make it to a stage. They just enjoy singing and each other’s company.
If you don’t like singing but you play an instrument, plenty of Jam sessions around and in some the musicians that play don’t pay for their drinks. And the ones where they do, you can just not consume anything. They know you’re there to play. But there’s a few who even pay some musicians to be there. It’s a matter of finding out.
There’s dancing groups.
There’s film clubs.
There’s book clubs.
There’s poetry gatherings. A lot of the poetry there will be awful and that’s fine. It’s part of the charm.
And the reason why I know of all these events I suggested so far is because I go to them and I even help organise some of them with two of my local cultural associations. The next event I’m helping out on is an Animation festival that is now in its fourth annual edition. Although not all, some of the screenings are free. But the ones that aren’t are dirt cheap anyways.
These are some examples, there are so many more. And in almost if not all of them you’ll find people of all ages, including yours and younger.
Don’t go out looking for a romantic partner. Go look for a community. You’re also more likely to find a partner in a community of people anyway.
While you were in school, you were in a secluded and rigid environment.
Welcome to the shit.
Where everyone is as clueless as you probably think you are.
Yep, I’m 30 and married and thats how it is. You make friends with old people and married people and all sorts of other people and when people go out for a bite afterwards you join them. And when you do it, yeah you might still want a partner, but you’re likely to find that the main source of loneliness was that you lacked a community. And when you’ve got a community it’s a lot easier to find a partner.
I can’t speak for wherever the original commentator ist from. In Germany most youth centres were partly or completely volunteer run. There are fewer people volunteering today, so the centres don’t find enough people to open up or supervise events/gatherings. And at some point then they’re closing forever.
On that note, looking for a volunteer group near you is also an awesome way to socialise.
There’s no place to socialize though. I wouldn’t know where I could meet people my age (20s) that doesn’t cost money or includes activities that I don’t like (e.g. clubbing).
There are so many places that cost nothing or very little, especially in Germany. Don’t get into the doomer mindset that is so prevalent on the internet, that tell you that it’s the same suburban car infested shithole that is north america. There are so many clubs (Vereine) that struggle to find new members, but you’re right that you often won’t meet too many people around your age, it’s mostly older people and children, but that also depends on what the club is for. Be the change you want to see in the world.
honestly as much as I feel similarly, it hurts me to know people your age are struggling in such a way.
My 20s were filled with opportunity, things to do, and it didn’t even break the bank. My university had a bar connected to the building, I think pints of alright beer were about £1.50.
I really hope things get better soon. Y’all should at least have the options of things like I did, yet half the things around me closed down or are priced out of range now!
Has that changed over the years? Have such places and activities disappeared or gone up in price?
I mean, everything got more expensive. And I do hear that more and more youth centres and such are closing down, taking away places to socialise for young people in particular.
What has disappeared for me personally though is school/uni as a place to socialise at. I’ve never had the need before to search out specific places to meet people. It just happened organically. Now I don’t even know where I‘d even find new people. I’m stuck with just the few I knew back in school and uni and they mostly don’t live anywhere close by.
You’re in the awful moment after college. I’m 40 and this happened to anyone I know as well. Older people than me will tell you the same. It really sucks.
So, I’m gonna give a few suggestions where you don’t have to spend any money and don’t involve clubbing, which is not cheap either.
Plenty of group activities don’t cost anything and are the most fulfilling…
Just one quick note. Don’t concern yourself too much with age groups. People are organised by age groups in school. Everywhere else the organisation is mutual interests or common goals. And then you’ll go there and find people of all ages.
So…
Find projects of your interest where you can volunteer.
If you like animals, give some of your time to local animal shelters and animal associations.
If you want to give Nature a hand, volunteer to go plant trees on the weekend, plenty of groups outthere always asking for more to come.
Check the activities at your local library, most of them are state funded and free of charge to participate in.
The same goes for Cultural Associations. Plenty of them have state funded events that are free of charge to attend.
There are also amateur groups that you can join. Just find anything of your liking. If you like to draw, almost any place has a “drink and draw” event or an Urban Sketchers group. Nobody will care if you don’t consume at these events. And if you think you can’t draw, nobody cares. People of all levels of skill show up. I know this because I go to them and nobody cares how well you draw. As long as you like drawing, looking at drawings or watching people drawing you’re always welcomed at them.
If drawing is not of your interest but you like singing, there’s for sure an amateur singing group near you. My girlfriend met a group of funny and energetic elderly ladies this way. She loves their company. And nobody young or old is there to make it to a stage. They just enjoy singing and each other’s company.
If you don’t like singing but you play an instrument, plenty of Jam sessions around and in some the musicians that play don’t pay for their drinks. And the ones where they do, you can just not consume anything. They know you’re there to play. But there’s a few who even pay some musicians to be there. It’s a matter of finding out.
There’s dancing groups.
There’s film clubs.
There’s book clubs.
There’s poetry gatherings. A lot of the poetry there will be awful and that’s fine. It’s part of the charm.
And the reason why I know of all these events I suggested so far is because I go to them and I even help organise some of them with two of my local cultural associations. The next event I’m helping out on is an Animation festival that is now in its fourth annual edition. Although not all, some of the screenings are free. But the ones that aren’t are dirt cheap anyways.
These are some examples, there are so many more. And in almost if not all of them you’ll find people of all ages, including yours and younger.
Don’t go out looking for a romantic partner. Go look for a community. You’re also more likely to find a partner in a community of people anyway.
While you were in school, you were in a secluded and rigid environment.
Welcome to the shit.
Where everyone is as clueless as you probably think you are.
Yep, I’m 30 and married and thats how it is. You make friends with old people and married people and all sorts of other people and when people go out for a bite afterwards you join them. And when you do it, yeah you might still want a partner, but you’re likely to find that the main source of loneliness was that you lacked a community. And when you’ve got a community it’s a lot easier to find a partner.
Is that due to austerity or something else?
I can’t speak for wherever the original commentator ist from. In Germany most youth centres were partly or completely volunteer run. There are fewer people volunteering today, so the centres don’t find enough people to open up or supervise events/gatherings. And at some point then they’re closing forever.
On that note, looking for a volunteer group near you is also an awesome way to socialise.
Fewer* people
Thanks, I need to practice my English skills a bit. I’m getting rusty.
Rusty you say? 🦀
Any hunch as to why there’s fewer volunteers today?