"How do I find friends?" is the most common question German influencers get asked on social media. Loneliness has become a pressing issue in Germany, with far-reaching consequences.
You’re in the awful moment after college. I’m 40 and this happened to anyone I know as well. Older people than me will tell you the same. It really sucks.
So, I’m gonna give a few suggestions where you don’t have to spend any money and don’t involve clubbing, which is not cheap either.
Plenty of group activities don’t cost anything and are the most fulfilling…
Just one quick note. Don’t concern yourself too much with age groups. People are organised by age groups in school. Everywhere else the organisation is mutual interests or common goals. And then you’ll go there and find people of all ages.
So…
Find projects of your interest where you can volunteer.
If you like animals, give some of your time to local animal shelters and animal associations.
If you want to give Nature a hand, volunteer to go plant trees on the weekend, plenty of groups outthere always asking for more to come.
Check the activities at your local library, most of them are state funded and free of charge to participate in.
The same goes for Cultural Associations. Plenty of them have state funded events that are free of charge to attend.
There are also amateur groups that you can join. Just find anything of your liking. If you like to draw, almost any place has a “drink and draw” event or an Urban Sketchers group. Nobody will care if you don’t consume at these events. And if you think you can’t draw, nobody cares. People of all levels of skill show up. I know this because I go to them and nobody cares how well you draw. As long as you like drawing, looking at drawings or watching people drawing you’re always welcomed at them.
If drawing is not of your interest but you like singing, there’s for sure an amateur singing group near you. My girlfriend met a group of funny and energetic elderly ladies this way. She loves their company. And nobody young or old is there to make it to a stage. They just enjoy singing and each other’s company.
If you don’t like singing but you play an instrument, plenty of Jam sessions around and in some the musicians that play don’t pay for their drinks. And the ones where they do, you can just not consume anything. They know you’re there to play. But there’s a few who even pay some musicians to be there. It’s a matter of finding out.
There’s dancing groups.
There’s film clubs.
There’s book clubs.
There’s poetry gatherings. A lot of the poetry there will be awful and that’s fine. It’s part of the charm.
And the reason why I know of all these events I suggested so far is because I go to them and I even help organise some of them with two of my local cultural associations. The next event I’m helping out on is an Animation festival that is now in its fourth annual edition. Although not all, some of the screenings are free. But the ones that aren’t are dirt cheap anyways.
These are some examples, there are so many more. And in almost if not all of them you’ll find people of all ages, including yours and younger.
Don’t go out looking for a romantic partner. Go look for a community. You’re also more likely to find a partner in a community of people anyway.
While you were in school, you were in a secluded and rigid environment.
Welcome to the shit.
Where everyone is as clueless as you probably think you are.
Yep, I’m 30 and married and thats how it is. You make friends with old people and married people and all sorts of other people and when people go out for a bite afterwards you join them. And when you do it, yeah you might still want a partner, but you’re likely to find that the main source of loneliness was that you lacked a community. And when you’ve got a community it’s a lot easier to find a partner.
You’re in the awful moment after college. I’m 40 and this happened to anyone I know as well. Older people than me will tell you the same. It really sucks.
So, I’m gonna give a few suggestions where you don’t have to spend any money and don’t involve clubbing, which is not cheap either.
Plenty of group activities don’t cost anything and are the most fulfilling…
Just one quick note. Don’t concern yourself too much with age groups. People are organised by age groups in school. Everywhere else the organisation is mutual interests or common goals. And then you’ll go there and find people of all ages.
So…
Find projects of your interest where you can volunteer.
If you like animals, give some of your time to local animal shelters and animal associations.
If you want to give Nature a hand, volunteer to go plant trees on the weekend, plenty of groups outthere always asking for more to come.
Check the activities at your local library, most of them are state funded and free of charge to participate in.
The same goes for Cultural Associations. Plenty of them have state funded events that are free of charge to attend.
There are also amateur groups that you can join. Just find anything of your liking. If you like to draw, almost any place has a “drink and draw” event or an Urban Sketchers group. Nobody will care if you don’t consume at these events. And if you think you can’t draw, nobody cares. People of all levels of skill show up. I know this because I go to them and nobody cares how well you draw. As long as you like drawing, looking at drawings or watching people drawing you’re always welcomed at them.
If drawing is not of your interest but you like singing, there’s for sure an amateur singing group near you. My girlfriend met a group of funny and energetic elderly ladies this way. She loves their company. And nobody young or old is there to make it to a stage. They just enjoy singing and each other’s company.
If you don’t like singing but you play an instrument, plenty of Jam sessions around and in some the musicians that play don’t pay for their drinks. And the ones where they do, you can just not consume anything. They know you’re there to play. But there’s a few who even pay some musicians to be there. It’s a matter of finding out.
There’s dancing groups.
There’s film clubs.
There’s book clubs.
There’s poetry gatherings. A lot of the poetry there will be awful and that’s fine. It’s part of the charm.
And the reason why I know of all these events I suggested so far is because I go to them and I even help organise some of them with two of my local cultural associations. The next event I’m helping out on is an Animation festival that is now in its fourth annual edition. Although not all, some of the screenings are free. But the ones that aren’t are dirt cheap anyways.
These are some examples, there are so many more. And in almost if not all of them you’ll find people of all ages, including yours and younger.
Don’t go out looking for a romantic partner. Go look for a community. You’re also more likely to find a partner in a community of people anyway.
While you were in school, you were in a secluded and rigid environment.
Welcome to the shit.
Where everyone is as clueless as you probably think you are.
Yep, I’m 30 and married and thats how it is. You make friends with old people and married people and all sorts of other people and when people go out for a bite afterwards you join them. And when you do it, yeah you might still want a partner, but you’re likely to find that the main source of loneliness was that you lacked a community. And when you’ve got a community it’s a lot easier to find a partner.