Well, the egg “cracked” I guess. After 24 years, I’ve realized that I’m probably NB or trans. Looking back, I think that for a long while now, there’s been something in the back of my mind. Like a seed of doubt. I can think of any number of things that could’ve contributed to it. And it’s weird to me because I haven’t really felt any dysphoria, at least I can’t think of anything off the top of my head. But I know that there’s something off.

But anyway, over last weekend I was thinking about it a lot and after I came to that conclusion it was like this buzzing in my head that I hadn’t realized was there went quiet. And now that I know that… I have no fucking clue what happens next. The only people that know are close friends and I will absolutely not be letting anyone else who knows me know. HRT may be a very long ways (potentially 2 years, haven’t looked into it too much yet) away depending on a pending federal job.

  • commoncrow@sh.itjust.worksOP
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    6 days ago

    Thanks, I’ll have to take some time to read that. Looks kinda a very long document. The problems I forsee with HRT are cost and medical. I’m looking at getting a job in aviation, and my research into the FAA medical examinations says that those who have been on HRT for less than 5 years are usually deferred to the FAA for additional review. I also have the unfortunate luck of being in Texas, and still live with and an on my parents’ insurance. Don’t want my family knowing because it won’t end well. I need to look at informed consent and what that actually means.

    Jesus there’s a lot to think about lol. I can’t even think of a name for a DND character, finding a new name for me is going to be is going to take a while

    • NCC-21166 (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      6 days ago

      You might still be able to use something like Planned Parenthood to get coverage outside of your parents’ insurance. That said, this is going to be a recurring issue that you’ll have to address at some point. Your primary care physician needs to know you’re taking HRT because your blood tests will be… surprising if they don’t. I don’t know that to tell you about being in Texas. That’s a tough one, and I had a conversation with my own management recently about never going to that state for any reason, even if it meant losing my job. I don’t mean to scare you, but you should consider a move if you can figure it out. The GDB isn’t so long a read, it’s just really well organized. I devoured it in a day, not including the references. Those were saved for a later review. There’s a ton more info out there if you need it! Everywhere from Lemmy communities, to Reddit subs, to several private websites tracking resources. I found this one particularly useful, even if some of it can be a little out of date: Transgender Map. I had lots of the same questions that you do now, though my situation is different since I’m “over the hill” in my 40s, but you could take a look at the replies to a post I made over a month ago askig similar questions: Advice on finding doctors Hang in there! There’s always an option. You just have to decide which is right for you.

      • commoncrow@sh.itjust.worksOP
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        6 days ago

        Yeah, I’m only going to be on the insurance plan for about a year more at most, so it’s not like it’s going to be forever. For primary care? I think the last time I visited a primary physician was like 12 years ago when I was 12. Haven’t really needed to and haven’t gotten sick aside from the occasional cold.

        I do plan on moving eventually as well, I’ll have to relocate for this job, but that could be in a few months or take up to a year, government being government. I have friends who are trans and they are also looking at moving.

    • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      6 days ago

      There are also private HRT options like Folx and Plume, they’re more expensive but don’t require insurance (and they can ship the estrogen to you, I believe). (EDIT: +1 for Planned Parenthood, btw - the local trans women I know use PP for access to HRT without insurance.)

      Being in TX is not ideal, but I don’t know what to say other than you should move.

      Regardless of your career, being trans is unavoidable, it’s not a choice (maybe not how it feels right now, I get it), we know it’s a genetic condition and the only treatment known to help is medical transition … it’s like worrying about whether you should get treatment for diabetes because the FAA has special requirements for diabetics who need to take insulin. It’s not a realistic option to just not take insulin. While we live in a transphobic society that doesn’t recognize the medical importance of HRT for trans folks, for many of us (and maybe you too), it’s not that different of a comparison.

      I didn’t really appreciate this point until I was on HRT, though - I still balk at how long I lived without estrogen, it boggles the mind that I didn’t die (I nearly did a few times, looking back). Before then, there was no way I would believe HRT was an essential medication.