Well, the egg “cracked” I guess. After 24 years, I’ve realized that I’m probably NB or trans. Looking back, I think that for a long while now, there’s been something in the back of my mind. Like a seed of doubt. I can think of any number of things that could’ve contributed to it. And it’s weird to me because I haven’t really felt any dysphoria, at least I can’t think of anything off the top of my head. But I know that there’s something off.
But anyway, over last weekend I was thinking about it a lot and after I came to that conclusion it was like this buzzing in my head that I hadn’t realized was there went quiet. And now that I know that… I have no fucking clue what happens next. The only people that know are close friends and I will absolutely not be letting anyone else who knows me know. HRT may be a very long ways (potentially 2 years, haven’t looked into it too much yet) away depending on a pending federal job.
Yeah, I’m only going to be on the insurance plan for about a year more at most, so it’s not like it’s going to be forever. For primary care? I think the last time I visited a primary physician was like 12 years ago when I was 12. Haven’t really needed to and haven’t gotten sick aside from the occasional cold.
I do plan on moving eventually as well, I’ll have to relocate for this job, but that could be in a few months or take up to a year, government being government. I have friends who are trans and they are also looking at moving.