sure, but it doesn’t feel particularly relevant, those people aren’t that different from less economically privileged working class folks who defend capitalism despite gaining no material benefit from doing so. The upper middle classes that align that way are still exploited in their jobs and victims of the system they align with, and that’s no different than everyone else. Division among the working classes doesn’t help our cause, and those middle upper classes would be some of the most valuable allies in cultivating change if their consciousness was raised, since they at least are not completely empty-handed. Think of people like Che Guevara who had such immense influence - he was precisely one of those middle upper class people whose consciousness was raised when he witnessed the American-backed coup in Guatemala.

not if you puree and syringe the eggs into the urethra, we’re talking science here, we have the technology

we’re talking about the average person; the idea that the average person in the US is using their higher income as savings to compensate for lack of social programs is delusional imo, I think most people have significant debt and will just fall between the cracks if they lose their job or get sick and can’t work, etc.

focusing on income is distorting, socially and politically some of the wealthiest and most powerful people have the lowest incomes, it’s just not the best lens of evaluating power or wealth.

are you volunteering?

Pretty sure glory holes are doube-blind by definition… 🤔

thanks for the pic! very practical, love that in a purse. Thicker strap is more functional and fits this purse well - easier and more comfortable to carry on your shoulder, and across the chest.

I have a few purses that look like this one, love it! 🖤

P.S. your English is great 😊

oo, what does it look like?

I remember first buying a purse when I was a teenager (unaware of my gender issues).

There was this weird conflict brewing inside me, debating whether I could get away with buying and having a purse - would my mom let me? Would my dad find out and threaten me? Would I get bullied at school?

My girlfriend at the time was with me and was so supportive, she was the real reason I felt the freedom to take that little step, to sheepishly choose a purse and buy it.

Wearing a purse was one of the few gender non-conforming activities I took a risk on when growing up: I wore a purse everywhere in high school and didn’t stop as an adult.

Usually of course I chose purses that were more subdued (in colors of browns, blacks, greys) and usually plain and not too feminine in style. But I corrected people when they called it a “man-bag”, insisting it’s really just a purse.

So yay for purses, have a great purse day, enjoy that mojito!! 🥂💖

as if anyone in America is saving their money 🤣

we call this realism, enjoy your day job 😘

it’s probably so much worse

As for penetration probably but not with genitals, only with strap-ons. Maybe we’ll feel differently after surgery but we mostly prefer, sexually at least, partners with vaginas, so it’s unlikely unless something changes after surgery, we aren’t sure.

Same here, my experiences have all been with toys and fem tops.

It is interesting what you are saying about calling it a clitoris, that is how we think of it now, at least when we are doing stuff with it, otherwise most of the time we just call things genitals.

It’s all the same anatomy, homologous but undergoing divergent pathways - a vaginoplasty just puts the same stuff in the other configuration, as if it developed that way naturally. Many girls report that their post-op experience feels entirely natural, as if it had always been that way. I’m sure that’s related to the homologous nature of the structures and the way surgeons follow that lead.

We will read the book, but really doing stuff to ourselves despite being not pleasurable mostly has always felt boring, we prefer it with partners so we’ll ask and see if they’d like to get involved but we’ll still try it with ourselves, at least once.

Same here, though non-pleasurable orientation might be useful, and developing trust with your own body might work best alone at first - I also find having another person there helps make the context sexual. I think this actually relates to my dysphoria - I have a hard time being embodied sexually, so it’s almost like I only can experience sexual pleasure vicariously through someone else (particularly through a female partner).

It really clicked for me that this was from dysphoria when I read a similar account in Feinberg’s Stone Butch Blues.

Now we just have to figure out what kind of surgery to get, guess we have to get working on our project for that again!

Much luck! I just went through this (I’m only a few weeks into recovery), so feel free to ask me any questions you have!

First of all, no - you’re not broken, you’re dysphoric. So many of us feel this way - I felt a lot like you, too. “Orgasms” always felt shallow and unsatisfying, like you I felt they weren’t “real” orgasms.

We think maybe bottom surgery might help

✅

have had similar struggles, can confirm, bottom surgery helps.

In the meantime, you might also experiment with two strategies I found helpful pre-op:

1. using a plug-in magic wand and a speed controller to allow fine control of how strong it vibrates, then using panties and other methods (e.g. gaff) to hold the clit in place for stimulating, while visually obscuring it and feminizing it.

2. read Anal Pleasure & Health by Jack Morin and explore safely and comfortably learning to pleasure yourself with anal penetration. Unlocking prostate orgasms can challenging but extremely rewarding - it is one way to experience more intense and full body orgasms.

I will say, though, anal stimulation still always felt like an overly involved and poor substitute for vaginal penetration - so this really is meant to be an ersatz compromise as you work towards getting a full-depth vaginoplasty (assuming you desire penetration) that will hopefully result in better orgasms.

Personally I also felt it was a lot of work, and was sometimes quite dysphoric. So, experiences will vary - but it’s worth learning. I found my skills with navigating anal penetration crossed over to learning to dilate successfully, esp. learning to relax and control your muscles down there. It’s worth learning to do in advance, I found dilation easy precisely because I had learned to relax enough for pleasurable anal sex. In fact, part of what helped me unlock pleasure from anal was learning to slowly and gradually dilate the anus with gradually larger plugs. You learn to clean, use lube, gain control to relax your pelvic muscles, and you learn to go slow and listen to and develop trust with your body in a sensitive area. These are all great skills to develop pre-op which I found cross-over to the post-op vaginal dilation context, esp. early on when the surgical site has not healed and you have to be careful.

I was clowning with you 😉

“you can’t be serious” being a literal (joking) instruction on how to become a clown, while also making it look like I was questioning your dedication 😄

you can’t be serious

literally came to comments to say Sirona Ryan, lol

😭😭😭

beyond beef 😝

I’m here and I brought my pitchfork, what’s next?

Such great points, both about the polycule rules being oriented around feelings of safety, and the way the betrayal really started when they joined the polycule that would create this situation later. Thank you!!

for context the friend’s sense of betrayal might relate to the years-long sexual relationship they had with this person, and a sense of injustice because the sexual partner is aware of how the HIV is being treated, that the viral levels are not perceptible in blood tests, and that the HIV’s risks have been mitigated such that it shouldn’t pose a health risk … I think the friend also views the polycule’s rule as ignorant about HIV and its treatment.

Could just be a personal thing on their end, but I wanted to get a pulse check on how common a rule like this is, as I am familiar with the queer community’s attitudes about this (basically HIV is no big deal and is mitigated, people who are terrified by HIV are usually a straight cringe stereotype, etc.), but I don’t know whether that attitude overlaps with the polyamory community or not (I assume the overlap of queer and polyamorous people is significant, but maybe I’m wrong).