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I mean, I’m not a theologist or anything, but based on other precedents, if someone was dying and wanted to be baptized at the last second, and no source of water could be arranged on time, the Gatorade baptism would probably be accepted by the Catholic church.
Transubstantiation of Gatorade into Holy Water doesn’t even sound that outrageous when priests claim to transubstantiate wine to blood on a daily basis.
This seems to mean that priests can theoretically make any liquid holy, thereby making holy Gatorade.
I just checked and it seems that unfortunately not. At least catholic Priests are only allowed to bless “true water”, which is usually understood to mean that nothing was purposely added to it (with the exception of certain salts for rituals like exorcism).
So is tap water okay, or only where it isn’t fluoridated? What about sea water ? Heavy water ? Rain water ?
It needs to be demineralized and deionized to be able to accept god and become holy. God is quite picky
Uh, skeet skeet “enjoy salvation”
They’ve got holy water and holy wine. Why not holy beer.
“This is my piss, drink of it and be holy”
Bartender: “Sorry, dude, you’ve had quite a few drinks, I have to cut you off, only water for you from now on.”
Jesus: "Dammit… "
I legit thought it was going to say it found some way to molest a kid
That usually results in promotion
Somehow, I imagine it similar to this
Idiocracy 2, where the dumbest priest ever is sent into the future to save Catholicism.
Someone get Mike Judge on the phone
it’s what believers crave! it’s got electrolytes!
Holy shit! This appears to be real and as funny as it seems.
Bot started offering absolution and such.
Yeah they don’t put him in the uniform anymore lol
wow they weren’t kidding about civ7
its not?
Sippin on the haterade as usual.
Sam and Dean using Holy Church flavoured Gatorade to defeat evil, then drinking the rest to recover their lost electrolytes…
You can literally do it with spit… And that’s not a hypothetical. You can do it with any fluid if necessary… How is this controversial?
Because not all dogma can be easily explained or defended so it is easier to hunt the messenger. Compare to evangelicals and how much they roar against some things in the old covenant as sins while still using cloth made of mixed materials, eat bacon or refuse to kill their kids if they are not respectful enough.
Drink of the Riptide Rush, and be healed!
You got me to laugh, updoot
Randal: Hockey’s hockey. At least we got to play. Dante: Twelve minutes is hardly a game. Jesus, it’s hardly even a warm-up. Randal: Bitch, bitch, bitch. You want something to drink? Dante: Yeah. Gatorade. Randal: Hey, what happened to all the Gatorade? Dante: Exactly! They drank it all!
There is nothing in consumption Ra has forbidden Yu-gi-ok for the masses and movie theatres and coitus are the devil.
More consequences than if it had raped some kids.
To be fair if you make an AI and ask it to be an authentic catholic priest you’d essentially have to reward it for such actions because it understood the assignment. Now why you’d make such an abomination in the first place that I don’t know. The ways of the lord and all that…
Turns out “the ways of the lord” = capitalism. That’s probably why he condemned his socialist son to torture and crucifixion; for the crime of empathy! God was like “Helping the poor? Absolutely fucking not!”.
The history of all Religions is as a control mechanism used to make people self police in the absence of a formal law enforcement system.
So that’s why heinous deeds that don’t threaten the power structure get a pass.
