I, like many gamers, grew up playing Pokémon Red and Nintendo 64 and was obsessed with Nintendo products. I graduated to a PS2 and PS3 and became super into Metal Gear Solid and Call of Duty and Fallout. Also spent a ton of time with the Guitar Hero series. I loved the escape gaming brought me and it genuinely helped me relax.

Fast forward a few years and I hadn’t really played a video game between the years of like 2011-2017. College, moving cross country and busyness of life kept me from gaming. Finally in 2017, I bought a Switch and Breath of the Wild and felt the same magical feeling I remember when I first started playing Ocarina of Time, or the first time I booted up Metroid Prime, or Metal Gear Solid 4. I started to get into online gaming and made a lot of friends. I played my Switch frequently for a few years.

During the beginning of COVID lockdowns, I turned more to reading than gaming and my Switch gathered lots of dust. I ultimately ended up buying an Xbox Series S when it was announced because I’d never owned an Xbox system and Game Pass really intrigued me. I went through a phase of being very into Destiny 2, Halo, Gears of War, Forza Horizon…a bunch of games I had never played before.

Then, a divorce, a new job change, another cross country move brought new levels of stress to my life. I lacked an attention span strong enough to focus on a video game. FPS’s seemed boring, online games couldn’t keep my attention long enough to get through a match, and eventually I’d just leave a game on the pause menu while I messed around mindlessly on my phone. Gaming wasn’t even a way for me to decompress anymore, it seemed more like a chore I was procrastinating—which sucks.

I’ve fallen deeper into this lately, as more life changes have come along. I work a stressful job with long hours. I’m now a stepparent to two young boys. The little free time I have I spend walking the dog, reading, and trying to just let my mind settle and decompress. Let alone, if I try to turn the Xbox on or have the Switch on my lap, it turns into a whole event where the kids want to sit and watch and participate and ask tons of questions (which is fine, but sometimes I just want to do something by myself for me!)

I miss the time of my youth where gaming was a relief and a release for me. I miss how I felt when I first got a Switch and felt so excited and so nostalgic and reinvigorated and looked forward to playing a game! Now…I feel like I can’t even consider myself a gamer.

So. That’s a long winded way to ask if anyone else has gone through similar ruts, or fallen away from gaming, and if so, what games helped you get that spark back? What games brought you back to that nostalgic feeling you had when you first got into gaming? What games help you decompress after a long day? What games have you recently become obsessed with in such a way that you look forward to playing them and are always thinking about them?

I want to get back into gaming. I want to feel the magic again.

  • Tomato_666@dataterm.digital
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    1 year ago

    I bought a steam deck. Its the best thing if you don’t have lots of time as you can pause and turn it off and pick up where you left off later. Obviously that won’t work for online games great for project zomboid though. YMMV

  • CorrodedCranium@lemmy.fmhy.ml
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    1 year ago

    Have you considered playing a shorter singleplayer game? I find I get fatigued by how long some games can go on for whether it’s multiplayer like The Elder Scrolls Online or a sandbox game like Red Dead Redemption.

    Maybe you could try something like GRIS? It’s a relaxing game with a neat art style that that only takes about 3 hours to beat.

    • kiddblur@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Have you considered playing a shorter singleplayer game?

      this is my trick as well. I use an app called Depressurizer to sort my steam library by both review score and length simultaneously and grab one of the higher rated <8 hour games I haven’t played yet, then when I finish it, I find that my slump typically ends and I can pick up a longer game again.

      Worth mentioning these days I play precisely zero multiplayer games (because i’ve got a toddler so i need to be able to pause whatever I’m playing)

  • FlashPossum@social.fossware.space
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    1 year ago

    Contrary opinion - it’s OK to give up hobbies you don’t enjoy any more.

    Gaming was an important part of your life at one point. You remember it fondly because currently you are lacking something in your life, so you’re thinking - I used to enjoy gaming so I should enjoy it again.

    Doesn’t work like that - people go through phases. Find what you enjoy now. Yes, maybe it’s gaming again. Maybe its something else - hiking, fixing motorcycles, partying … who knows. Experiment with activities until you find something that will make you burn again!

    • itay227@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      I agree with this, it’s ok to find something new. Maybe you’ll come back to gaming after a while.

  • Manticore@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Nothing makes me enjoy games like moderation. But moderation isn’t just how often you choose to play - it’s also how much you’re expected to play.

    I’m going to discuss both, because I think people underestimate personal moderation. But I suspect gameplay moderation is your struggle.


    Personal moderation:

    Games mimic psychological fulfilment (problem-solving, self-actualisation, etc). But it’s not in a lasting way, they’re just more attainable.

    It’s like buying a chocolate bar vs cooking yourself a roast meal. It’s easier, it’s pleasant, and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying it - but if it’s the only thing I’m doing, and I never put in the work for something more satisfying, I feel unsatisfied - even emotionally ‘sick’ (bored, restless, ennui). When they are a treat at the end of a day, they feel great. But when they are my day, I struggle to enjoy them.

    This is the trap that often catches directionless people (eg: depressed, NEET, lonely). They don’t play games for games, they play them to avoid the anxiety or stress of cooking a roast meal. They eat chocolate until they feel sick, and then feel too sick to cook.


    Gameplay moderation:

    Games are designed for people who have time to burn. Teenagers, kids, some young adults. When you were younger, you could afford to burn that time, and it felt good, because each session meant you felt that hit of dopamine for problem-solving, achievement, and progression.

    But now, you can’t. You’re an adult, you don’t have that time. And yet games aren’t being designed for you anymore, but the new kids and teens. They brag about dozens or even hundreds of hours of playtime, and bloat their content with grind. (if anything, the latter has gotten even worse.)

    You only have an hour to play a game, and after that hour, there’s no feeling of progression or advancement - the game expects you to give it more time than that. And without the feeling of progression and advancement, games don’t feel as engaging.

    That is why they feel like chores, like jobs; it’s why you choose things that give immediate feedback like the internet. Games are asking you to put in too much time and then not giving you enough back.

    Portal 2 is considered a masterful game at five hours long, because each hour is rewarding. Is Destiny? Is Halo? Froza?


    If this is your concern, my suggestion would be to step back from the bigger scale games that want to monopolise time, and embrace smaller games from indie devs.

    You’ll get far more variety, they tend to be much denser. They’re also cheap enough that it’s worth it to try a bunch of things you might not have tried if they were AAA.

    If somebody says a game is ‘only 6 hours of gameplay’, see that as a positive, not a negative. It probably means each hour is going to mean something.

  • GandalfDG@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    For me after some time away from PC gaming, getting a steam deck was one thing that got me back into it. The other thing though was definitely selecting relatively short games. I played a lot of open-ended games that I could never finish like rimworld or crusader kings, it was nice to get back into games with a beginning middle and end. And in the same vein it means I’ve been playing stuff that I was interested in playing back in the 2010s but didn’t really have the time/money/hardware for

  • Ragnell@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    If you’re depressed, sometimes you lose interest in your hobbies. You might want to look into seeing someone.

    I will say, you seem a bit worried about no longer considering yourself a gamer, like this burnout has led to a crisis of identity. You are MORE than your hobbies. Gamer is a temporary state based on what you are doing. It is okay not to be one. You’re still you.

    • Evolone@beehaw.orgOP
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      1 year ago

      Thank you for this comment. I am working on myself and trying to see what I can do to help me get through this depression I’ve been experiencing.

      I appreciate you reminding me that I am not defined by just my hobbies (or my work, or my failures, or whatever). I am me, and that is perfectly alright.

  • nlm@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Try some chill single player games, ones that focus on a great story with no real difficulty. That helped a lot for me when I had a similar feeling.

    Firewatch, the Life us Strange games, Road 96, Unravel, Superliminal to name a few.

  • mananevergone@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I just homebrewed my Wii and have been having a blast playing GameCube and Wii games I never had but always wanted to try.

    Naruto Clash of Ninja 4 for example is a PHENOMENAL game that I had never even heard of before two days ago

  • DecentFarts@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I wouldn’t recommend this with the sole reason being to get back into gaming. I started taking THC gummies and it is like being a kid again playing video games.

    • kiddblur@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Haha exact opposite experience here. I started taking edibles and now I’d rather just scroll tiktok than commit to playing a game or watching a show

  • Jarmo@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    I have a very similar relationship with gaming. A similar break for college and a similar resurgence with BotW followed by a similar falling out because of kids haha.

    I’ll be honest, it doesn’t feel the same anymore. I don’t think it ever wil again. But I’ll share the things that have come close to getting that feeling back.

    1. Online game night with friends - this puts me mentally back in the 90’s staying up late and gaming with friends. It’s more about the company and conversations than the game itself. I try to do this at least once a week.

    2. Gaming with my son - he’s 6 and we’ve been able to find a ton of games we love playing together, most notably Nintendo games. He loves all things Mario. We also run through games like Hot Wheels Unleashed, Luigi’s Mansion 3, Lego 2K Drive. Anything with a kid friendly co-op campaign has been fun.

    3. Allowing yourself to mentally move on from games once you’re not having fun - I used to have this issue with a mental backlog or feel badly for buying a game and then not beating it. Not sure if you have the same issue. But lately I’ve tried not to put too much pressure on myself to beat a game. If I’m not having fun I move on. Life is too short and game time is too precious to waste it on a game I’m not loving.

    Hope this helps. Like I said, I don’t think it’ll ever feel the same, but this has helped it come close for me.

  • Widget@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    FPS’s seemed boring, online games couldn’t keep my attention long enough to get through a match, and eventually I’d just leave a game on the pause menu while I messed around mindlessly on my phone.

    My partner does this.

    One, you might have ADHD. I can’t say, but you could look into it.

    Secondly, you need to have some time to let your brain rest. When you bounce between tasks like that, you’re never actually not doing something. People think of doomscrolling as taking a break, but really you’re replacing your intended task with another task and there isn’t a time where you do no task.

    • Evolone@beehaw.orgOP
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      1 year ago

      Definitely need to figure out if it is ADHD, depression, or a combination…

      On your second point: I also need to work on this. I find myself constantly “doing something”. I’m listening to music while typing this; when I walk the dog, I’m listening to an audiobook or podcast. Same when I’m doing dishes or other chores. I rarely have “chill time” - or give myself that.

  • Daydreamy@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Perhaps emulation might get you interested. Replay the games of your childhood. Emulation also offers save States so you can immediately save or reload without silly save point mechanics, though you can stick to that if you want. This would let you basically get 10 minutes in here or there.

    Get yourself an anbernic rg351or other models, or a steam deck. Anbernic’s models can emulate generally up to ps1 and sometimes n64 or psp. I played through several childhood games on my 351m. Steam deck can emulate most things, namely ps2 ps3 360 and switch, but I’ve only tried psp thus far.

  • DjMeas@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    During the lockdowns my son was born. What’s really rekindled my love for gaming was not a particular game, but how I gamed. Getting a Steam Deck totally changed things for me and made it really convenient to access my gaming library.

    The first thing I did with it was not actually play new titles but visit my backlog of older JRPG games that I had missed out on (specifically the Trails series).

    Gaming at my desk where I worked wasn’t the same as gaming on the couch or next to my son while he was sleeping. Sounds silly but it’s made it much more enjoyable!

    • kiddblur@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      I love my steam deck and also had a son during the pandemic, but funny enough it didn’t really have that effect on me. I can’t really game when he’s awake because he’s too interested in touching the buttons/screen himself, and if he’s asleep, I can just play something on my PS5 or Xbox on the couch. I do use my steam deck a lot when he’s taking a car nap or whenever my wife and I want to watch a TV show together (but not the kind of show that demands full attention)

      • DjMeas@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        I don’t play games while my son is awake (ever) because why wouldn’t I want to spend time with him 🐥. I usually get to sneak in my hour or two while he’s asleep at night. My PC is in the den so I enjoy sitting next to him in bed while to play games for a bit.

        I am looking forward to when he’s old enough to start with retro games like the original Mario Bros!

        • kiddblur@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          Yeah, basically same here. He’s almost 2, so we’re starting to introduce some high quality mobile stuff like pokpok and sago, and he’s tried some simpler controller games (like the latest paw patrol one on game pass) but he can’t really grasp the concept of how the controller controls the character on screen (even though he’s great at holding the controller)

  • Warboss Wario@aussie.zone
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    1 year ago

    I play a lot less cause of depression and isolation so games I mainly play on my own are simple enough for me to play when my mind is fried and that I can quickly play little and come back no problem like do a level of Miitopia or like 1 or 2 races in Mario Kart.

    I also feel like I need to get away from gaming right now but sadly I am stuck with lack of support from family and the mental health system.

    What helps me the most is playing multiplayer locally mainly to deal with isolation and cause my connection is crap and i don’t want to pay subscriptions for what used to be free.

    To answer your question what games brought back i don’t really have that but some games that grabbed onto me recent years are usually odd and silly games like Miitopia(has a demo on switch(Nintendo exclusive)), Bug Fables, Bugsnax, Cat Quest 2(has a demo on switch), What the Golf, Wandersong.