My partner is concerned that I’m going to suddenly start being attracted to men once I start on the trans-mission fluid. Apparently she keeps reading Reddit posts about people who’s sexual orientation changes after they start hormones. How common is this? I can’t personally think of a word in which I would be attracted to men. Honestly it kinda crosses me out. I did go through a period where I decided to see if I was bisexual and slept with a couple of dudes, but I found the experience really off-putting. Have any of you ladies experienced a switch in sexual orientation? If so, from what to what?
I expected the same, but I felt the opposite when I was dating my last boyfriend. When people saw us, they didn’t see our queerness. And I absolutely hated that loss of queerness. I had spent a lifetime repressing it, then even after I came out, it still took me time to accept my own queerness. Eventually, I did, and I found power and joy in it. Then I started dating this guy, and just like that, it was invisible to pretty much everyone. It felt like stepping out of one closet and in to another. The second closet was more comfortable than the first, but it was still a closet, and I didn’t want to be in it.
that’s pretty interesting - I guess being in the closet as a trans woman made me appear to be in a cis-het relationship with a woman, so I could totally understand feeling some ick around going back to that … but I am still too stuck in the pragmatism of passing as cis (and relatedly as straight) - I don’t like looking queer or being perceived as queer (and I don’t generally feel a belonging to the queer community - though I try anyway, lol)
my hang-ups / struggles are probably from self-loathing and internalized transphobia as well as just more practical considerations about not enjoying the discrimination that I experience when perceived as queer (and the fear of violence, etc.)
all this to say, I like the closet, thank you 🙈