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mech@feddit.org to Greentext@sh.itjust.works · 2 days ago

Anon starts his day

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Anon starts his day

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mech@feddit.org to Greentext@sh.itjust.works · 2 days ago
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  • hedge_lord@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Meanwhile:

    >wake up
    >shoot myself full of estrogen
    >tea
    >shower
    >brush my teeth
    >go get pizza (yum) 
    

    Simple as

    • birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 day ago

      instruction unclear, only got estrogen and coffee. what do?

      • Flax@feddit.uk
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        1 day ago

        Instructions unclear, only carried out the first four words

      • Fullonturkeydog@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Your pizza is in the mail just wait calmly and purr a little while you’re waiting

  • bassad@jlai.lu
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    2 days ago

    Seems like a trubute to the “morning routine” from american psycho

  • steeznson@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    How about simply waking up and cursing whatever entity or cosmological force made this hell world?

  • slothrop@lemmy.ca
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    2 days ago

    Vanity is dehumanizing.

  • rtxn@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    It’ll be such a massive and catastrophic crash when the body can no longer handle the stress.

  • lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org
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    2 days ago

    He’s taking selenium!? Is he trying to kill himself?

    • kungen@feddit.nu
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      1 day ago

      Selenium toxicity can give symptoms like hair loss and fatigue. But he’s taking finasterid and minoxidil, as well as a large dose of caffeine, so the problem is solved!

    • duckythescientist@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 days ago

      It’s a necessary micronutrient

      • WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        And his hair is shiny and dandruff free!

        • Denjin@feddit.uk
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          1 day ago

          A photo of the cast of the film Evolution holding up bottles of Head and Shoulders

          • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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            1 day ago

            I vaguely remember the final 15 minutes that movie, it was about some tentacle anus alien and selenium was its poison, right?

            • Denjin@feddit.uk
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              1 day ago

              Correct

  • Crashumbc@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Since when has sleeping counted as fasting?

    • mech@feddit.orgOP
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      2 days ago

      Why do you think it’s called breakfast?

    • spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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      2 days ago

      since they decided to call it breakfast, i guess

  • kat_angstrom@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    But like, why?

  • TrackinDaKraken@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I’ve seen worse.

    • mech@feddit.orgOP
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      2 days ago

      me too

      • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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        1 day ago

        anon ain’t doing enough to stand out in the dating market

      • kungen@feddit.nu
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        1 day ago

        Dysin? Did he mean Desoxyn (methamphetamine), or is the guy popping vacuum cleaners?

      • deathbird@mander.xyz
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        2 days ago

        It’s a little cliche, but just try loving yourself, you know?

        • mech@feddit.orgOP
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          2 days ago

          I do that every night.

          • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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            1 day ago

            Your hands don’t lie 😏

      • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        It starts with questionable stuff, and ends on fucking Ketamine. Bravo. Yep, that is a perfectly healthy routine.

        Also, pro tip, don’t mess with your hormones (like testosterone) just to get more gains. There are many “body-builders” who have fried their hormone system and have to rely on permanent medication to function.

  • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    I mean, those ingredients to that meal he has, that sounds good, maybe once or twice a month, if you throw in some kind of fairly large helping of fibrous greens to go along with it, maybe drop half the eggs…

    But yeah the rest of this is insane, dude’s gonna end up roiding out within a year or two, balls will shrivel, then onto some kind of harder drugs or serious hallucinogens, which will likely reveal to him that he just is a howling void of insecurity, probably won’t end well.

  • ikt@aussie.zone
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    creatine you only take 4 x 5g when in your loading phase which lasts a week, then it’s 3g for maint or just 3g a day for maint which will get you to saturation anyway but takes about 3-4 weeks

    https://creatine.wiki/w/Creatine_Usage/Creatine_for_Beginners#content-recommended-dosage

    fish oil good for you

    the others I’m not gonna touch

    • krashmo@lemmy.world
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      Quit using drugs to min/max. Life isn’t a video game. Just go to the gym or do stuff outside. The rest is just capitalism doing what it does, trying to sell you shit you don’t need.

      • ikt@aussie.zone
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        Quit using drugs to min/max

        Why?

        trying to sell you shit you don’t need

        It’s science bro, if it helps improve your life why wouldn’t you do it?

        • krashmo@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          It doesn’t improve your daily life any more than regular exercise does

          • ikt@aussie.zone
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            1 day ago

            i do that too :)

      • shalafi@lemmy.world
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        Reminds me of the monster gym bros that Anatoly casually matches. Thought it was fake at first! Nope, he’s a legit powerlifter under that janitor’s uniform.

    • damo_omad@lemmy.world
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      Loading phase is also a myth. Just take your recommended dose every day

  • Gnugit@aussie.zone
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    4 eggs!? Fuck that, i can barely handle two in a day without becoming a stinking gas leak.

    • BreakerSwitch@lemmy.world
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      Reminds me of that greentext of the guy who was eating exclusively egg whites and nothing else

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