Transcription
A Twitter post from Matt @mattxiv with a text that reads “sometimes when i’m bored i wander into the weird parts of etsy to see what straight people are up to.” The picture below shows a hand holding a keychain with a penis-shaped cutout that says “Thanks for not pulling out!” There are 3 sperm-shaped cutouts attached with the names Ryver, Brynlee, and Emersyn.
There’s so much wrong with this.
Firstly, pulling out isn’t birth control.
And shouldn’t what you do together be consensual, so why thank him after the fact, as if you didn’t know if he’ll pull out or not?
And one sperm does not represent one child.
edit: there’s a very creatively named sub on reddit that deals exclusively with over-the-top kids names, if only I could remember it. The names seen here are harmless in comparison.
Why are you taking a gag gift so seriously?
It wouldn’t be funny if it didn’t subvert expectations by being ridiculous.
It’s funny because it’s totally ridiculous, but I don’t think the creator intended that by intentionally “subverting expectations”.
It makes more sense as a Father’s Day gift, where the kids are thanking him for not pulling out. (Which is not birth control.)
But then it’s even more disgusting.
And oh god the names of the kids.
The letter Y is sometimes a consonant, and sometimes a vowel, so they probably got a good deal on them. Or we’ve found the Time Travelers, and they were most recently in Maedeval Englynd. I have no better explanations. Also, pulling out is NOT birth control.
It’s called Tragedeigh
Ah, thanks.
They could’ve gone with “thanks for not cumming in mom’s chocolate starfish that night”
A friend of mine once told someone that their dad should have pulled out and cum in their mother’s eye…but he was too cheap to pay for it. To this day it remains one of the most savage things I’ve heard IRL.
This is such a common trope and I hate it so fucking much
🎶 every sperm is sacred 🎶
Knowledge of sperm teamwork is a threat to individualism.
I’m confused. Are you saying multiple sperm fertilize an egg? Or are you just upset that the egg is left out of the equation?
The latter. A sperm only provides 50% of the genetic information
Howany sperm do you think it takes to fertilize an egg?
Also, you’re ignoring the most egregious part of this, which is the childs’ names.
Ryver