Send me nudes of your souls, not your bodies!
like this?
Guys please don’t omit balls
I’ve been told my nudes are very tasteful. They want a sexy picture of you with your junk showing, (preferably full nudes, or pants fully down, nobody looks appealing with a frank and beans spilling out of their zipper) and not just a picture of your schlong.
Can you show us an example for reference?
I just put a little top hat on my dick and call it good
C’mon, at least draw on a smile, stick on some googly eyes, trim off a bit of your pubes and paste them on styled as muttonchops…
Nodes? Nades? I don’t get it.
Here’s me getting all excited thinking a new Blender tutorial just dropped
Nodes was my first thought. I think they are sending around host machines or something.
'Nades. This is the pose each gender makes after lobbing a grenade into an opposing military position.
Don’t upvote this shit Jesus Christ people.
Stop encouraging this.
You fucking wish.
In reality nudes from women look shit too.
People just generally give women a pass/see women as more attractive for the same equivalent level of attractiveness or effort for the photo. They also feel much more pressured by society to be all "WOW! I’ve never seen tits in my life!!! Magnifico! ✨✨🍆*
Nudes suck.
Thats my hot take.
The fucking suck, the person sending them expects you to receive them like they’re gods gift to green earth and they’re (the photos, not the person) just mid, so you have to act like you’re a pavloved chimpanzee in full caveman mode so excited by this barely lit could be big foot sighting.
At best nudes are an indication the person sending you them wants to fuck.
They’re not jerk off material. They’re barely semi chub material.
They’re just… mid.
Could be the hottest person imaginable and they’d still be mid.
Its ultimately just a poorly taken picture with poor lighting, with someone who (reasonably) won’t be bending over backwards to send you page 34 of the Kama Sutra.
It would be so fucking nice if it was deemed socially appropriate to say “Look lady, I don’t need to see a 15th picture of your gooch from the same fucking angle” (but you know, with tact), but instead if you ever were to do that, they’d misinterpret your message as “I’m not all that sexually interested in you” rather than “I’m not all that sexually interested in every piece of evidence there is for extraterrestrial UFOs existing, but in a vaguely human shape”.
Just a bit of a rant I hope was humorous but like seriously, I thought a few years back… probably like 15-20 years back, we all kinda agreed that nudes were stupid for security and revenge porn reasons, but now it seems the world is back at it again, for seemingly no reason, because next to no one is actually masturbating to these, and its like, just some fun chatting would get across the same effect or more, because it could display more personal knowledge of the other persons preferences and your desire for them.
Bah.
that’s definitely a hot take but I respect your opinion
Hot take, I agree wholeheartedly. I don’t see the appeal of engaging in this weird dating app style of courting people and it does absolutely zip for me. Even for a casual hookup. Just kind of kills any sort of hype or tension. I’d much rather have some sexytalk and then meet up. Nudes are boring.
Someone’s never received good nudes
This guy is receiving way too many nudes
That’s a spicy hot take. Upvoted for passion and expressiveness, but hard disagree.
Thanks for this reminder that I can ardently disagree with someone’s opinion and still think absolutely nothing less of them.
Nudes suck! Please women don’t send me any to change my mind!
Narrator: They didn’t.
Task succeeded failury
Upvoted for bravery, but I have never disagreed so wholly with someone on any topic more than this.
I’ll be using this as copy pasta with nudes substituted for various topics
That’s gonna be… weird
I think a lot of men genuinely pick bad ways to take nudes. There’s “mid pic”, then there’s “pic from a really bad angle with bad lighting”, and especially dick pics tend to be the latter.
Honestly, no doubt there’s truth there, as I think a lot of guys focus on making their dicks look big because from a typical straight(… actually gay too) guys perspective on sex, like thinking about sex from a mans perspective as if you were a woman, its like, you gotta make the lightning rod spark. Like the weight of the dick is elevated much more than the types of shit women want to see more of, like a lot of veiny-ness (which I think I can speak for the average man in saying, we generally don’t like on women (I think gay men differ from men here)), that brooding batman style of posing, the arms, forearms, and some chest hair, a confident and slightly domineering position, etc. Heck, I’m probably even somewhat wrong there.
I do think women tend to do this quite a bit as well, with all that weird duck lip, hand under chin, Victorian era poses, theatre kid coy, kinda “Sappho and her friend” leaning photos where to a lot of guys its like, Eyyy, show off all of that thing (where that thing is honestly a lot of things), or give me some “Ill be like this for you [sir/daddy/baby/pet/insert favourite pet name]”.
I dunno. It just all feels like I think people find it hard to conceptualize what the other person is truly looking for out of a photo because despite being into each other, people don’t really share their photo preferences in particular, and you can’t even necessarily transfer what you know about the other person in bed to what they’ll think looks good in a photo because the scenario is so different.
That being said, I really do think most pictures from both, dare I say all (to be more inclusive), tend to still ultimately, on average, be just mid.
Like no one is opening up their curtains, buying diffuse lighting, taking a hundred different shots, story boarding their angles, making sure all the money showpieces are hairless, or appropriately and perfectly haired or whatever it is for whoever it’s intended for, dehydrating to lean up, etc.
Like, to get nice photos, you basically have to become a NSFW content creator without the monetary incentive, and that’s a lot of work when the other person probably appreciate that time a lot more in person.
Dicks are just ugly. Is there a good dick pic?
Rip my inbox. Im interested in girls
Don’t mind if I do! This isn’t me obviously, it’s from my wank bank:
Spoiler, NSFW
Don’t ask me how he even took that photo, though. I’m not positive that this is actually a selfie, rather than a photo that was staged to sort of look like a selfie. Either way, IMO it’s a good dick pic. It’s a great angle to show off both his dick and his bod, and he even uses his hand to cover the balls which IMO are the uglier part of male genitals.
That’s one fine looking cock.
Broadly speaking about straight men and women sexting, I think a lot of it falls on men not knowing what their partner may want to see.
A lot of male nude selfies are so bad, though, it shouldn’t be that hard to see that … and why are women better at determining what men want, anyway?
and why are women better at determining what men want, anyway?
Because we live in a patriarchal society in which men are raised knowing what men are ‘supposed to’ want and women are also raised knowing what men are ‘supposed to’ want because it reinforces existing social hierarchy.
Someone should write a guide with specific and examples.
Your best bet might be to ask your partner! This is likely something that varies wildly person to person.
I’ve never once not appreciated a nude. This comment makes no sense
Hear me out: it was clearly a nude taken for someone else likely years before? AITA? Kinda spoiled the in the moment feeling of it all.
God no. The entire point of nudes is that the person took the effort to try to be sexy for you, and is teasing you about what they’re implying will happen in the near future.
If they are just posting old nudes to you, thats a bit like someone using their old wedding vows and substituting in your name.
It takes away all the personal intimacy of the interaction.
Totally not the asshole there.
Alright so, I guess there are exceptions
As someone who both loves to see nude dudes, and who gets… not ‘pestered’ for them, but ‘requested, often’ for them, either you are getting sent shit-tier pics or you think the mona lisa of tits is a boner-killer.
All I need is a guy, visually or audibly (woof~) enjoying themselves. That’s it, that’s the core request. I prefer that the camera is focused, that I can see that cock in full-frame for the entire duration, that he’s washed his hands and doesn’t have crumbs under his fingernails, stuff like that. But if it’s hot, at the end of the day I don’t give a fuck. And if I can sense that it’s got real passion - maybe there’s a ton of pictures and I can follow the story, it’s building narrative (and need, and leaking precum), the agonizing peak, and the messy finish, fuck yeah. If it has needy, desperate moans, gasps, begging… I might finish before they do.
My own stuff is awful, I know it’s awful, I warn others that it is awful. I get told that it’s not. I warn people that I’m not attractive, that I’m awkward (I’m chubby and disabled). Again, I get told that it’s hot, and am encouraged to keep making new stuff. And the people that I follow, I try to encourage too. Putting yourself out there, in any capacity, is a huge leap of trust. People are awful, and for many exposing themselves like this is scary. I follow people who, like myself, post to the internet where if anyone knows the service you’re posting on, or find the link, they can view it. And I also get sent stuff just for me directly, and those I view as even more special. I could be a huge piece of shit and share them with others, but I’m both not a huge piece of shit, and the understanding that someone made content for me because I want them, I crave them, I want to ravage their body until they faint and then keep going (consentually), for example, and they understand and are signaling they want that, too - huff!
You need better stuff to look at, and/or a personal connection to someone who wants to [TV bleep] you until your [bleep] is so exhausted and ruined that that then they are going to [bleep] you until you scream and beg, then get harder and harder until you [bleep] over and over until you are totally dry, and they they are going to focus the attention on themselves for part 2. And they want to document these plans in photographic form, maybe with a captivating video ending. Those are the people you want to find.
You may be demi, sounds familiar to a lot of my demi friends experiences
Definitely not. I’m describing a situation where someone you know is sending you nudes.
I also am definitely as enticed by people irl or porn as any other person. I just don’t find nudes all that great. Like, I’d probably enjoy taking the nudes with someone over seeing them, or better yet, just doing things.
Hell yeah brother. Preach it. Hard agree. Since I turned 40 I’ve started to realize: “this isn’t that big of a deal. I’ll save my enthusiasm for the opening night”.
Titties are nice, it’s fine to have them or share them but they’re really just bags of fat bolted onto a chest so don’t expect me to lose my shit after seeing them for the 20th time.
i relate to this comment so much. getting weird gross nudes from a woman is really offputting, even if you are into her.
i also see it in so many other ways. women get a huge pass in life from men because sex, and other women because in group solidarity. every mid thing they do is this huge achievement for some reason. i don’t understand.
but i know it’s a long documented psychological bias called the women are wonderful effect. and anytime you mention it, people deny it exists and start arguing with you how men are evil and women are great, proving the very effect they think they are disputing.
Just a bit of a rant I hope was humorous but like seriously, I thought a few years back… probably like 15-20 years back, we all kinda agreed that nudes were stupid for security and revenge porn reasons, but now it seems the world is back at it again, for seemingly no reason, because next to no one is actually masturbating to these, and its like, just some fun chatting would get across the same effect or more, because it could display more personal knowledge of the other persons preferences and your desire for them.
Maybe the ones you’ve seen. The nudes ive received were on the level of French-painted goddesses.
Yeah, nudes from chicks usually are just close up shots that even a gyno would say is too close. Half the time it just looks like someone took a close up shot of an out of date corned beef sandwich…
Holy fuck even “nudes” is getting censored now
Just wait awhile and it’ll be be called una-dressed or something even more stupid.
Undressies.
Dressn’t
Ok but that’s actually funny
How to get unpreganant
Mayonnaise.
Unalive a dress
B*rthday su*t
Au naturel.
doubleplusungood
I think it’s on purpose at this point as a way to get engagement. The more comments, the more people likely to comment, more people likely to interact and upvote or whatever equivalent.
Your comment is true for most other online fora and social media. If I remember correctly, comments do not bring posts upward in the Hot feed in the Threadiverse. Engagement bait for clout is limited to just “Upvote if…” posts. If you don’t like a post here, downvoting is the most effective way to disadvantage it from being seen. It takes only a minute or two for someone to search for an uncensored image or to manually retype the words before posting a tacky censored version.
Sending nodes your way
i left some nades in your mailbox
Wait, fuck, now my primary is failing over and the secondaries can’t form a quorum and are caught in an election loop.
117 upvotes condemning the censorship but only 17 downvotes on the censorship. 100 people are either experiencing cognitive dissonance or they don’t realize that downvoting is a way to discourage bad content here.
It’s good content made worse by censorship
You just need to VPN to an area that allows seeing it.
Clothing impaired.
Send nodes
Why did I read this as nodes. Am I seriously that married to CS that I read Nudes as nodes (as in nodes from linked lists).
I guess it doesn’t help that the they’ve used the character ‘•’ in place of the ‘u’ to solicite the word “Nudes.”
Tfw you ask her for nudes but she sends her node_modules folder
Just don’t call your wife Alice or Eve (unless she’s willing to call you Bob)
I always wondered what it was Alice is sending that’s crucial to be unsniffable. Now we know.
It’s still hot when women do it, for some reason.
What are nodes?
Points of intersection or connection
Baby don’t hurt me
Nades actually
Wolfman has nards!
Real question how du I make it classy
Put effort in. Poses, lighting, some measure of a narrative. Use a decent camera instead of your phone’s front-facing camera with the flash on.
A narrative? Like, “Not only am I naked, I’m on my way to… water the plants. They are thirsty, and so am I… In the background, dimly lit, you can see an ESP32 microcontroller… yup, that’s the kind of guy I am… oh my, I can do pulse width modulation with my bare hands…”
You joke but I’m being dead serious when I say that I’d enjoy it if someone sent something like that to me
…I’d probably feel slightly lesser due to me struggling with coming up with something as creative as that
I’m gonna neg you, but cerebrally
This probably bangs with autistic chicks
Hi I am an autistic chick and yes, please, this would without a word of a lie 100% absolutely work on me.
Got it, I will set my dating profile to me programming while naked. Ideally at 3 am, after a healthy diet of caffeine and chocolate and not having slept or showered for 48h. Surely that’ll attract all the hot, nerdy girls.
I mean, sure maybe? The appeal is in someone sharing something they’re passionate about and taking the time to craft images to showcase it (and in a sexy way). If you’re putting effort into doing that, it’d probably work fine.
Weird question, but I absolutely got rick rolled and then definitely scrolled through your posts and just have to ask, and hopefully this comes across well but, wtf do you do? Like not about the nsfw pictures but like, you’re in like a cabin, but have an electronics work bench for a CNC mill project, and then a (I presume work) friend sends you vault pictures?
Sparky? EE? Hobbyist unrelated?
Lol no problem - fudging some of the specific details, but I’m (until recently) a software developer specializing in research database applications, and I teach computer science on the side. The CNC and electronics in general are just hobbies that feed into other hobbies (who doesn’t love robots???), and the vault door was a photo from a dear old friend who works construction and knows of my love for the retro-industrial aesthetic.
(Very curious where the idea I’m in a cabin came from, I think all my posts have been from when I was living in my regular boring old house!)
who doesn’t love robots???
Like combat robots?
Very curious where the idea I’m in a cabin came from
The wood workbench for the CNC cabinet sorta looks hand built and cabin like, and then the rest has a sort of background firewatch sorta older home aesthetic that made me think Cabin. The angles also made it look smaller/like it had less rooms than a house would, and things like the bar you were hanging off of also seemed a bit strange to just be in a regular house (like who just has a horizontal bar running from one side of an indiscriminate room to another sort of thing).
In hindsight I can see it being a house but thats what made me think it.
I think all my posts have been from when I was living in my regular boring old house!
And now you live in a boat off the coast of Costa Rica like many other digital nomads (Is what I am guessing based on this and the software developer part).
Ok, I have a question. Let me preface this by saying I’m actually not planning on sending nudes to anyone.
Does it have to be that specifically, or are you looking for someone to incorporate their passion into sending you nudes? Like oh, I’m working on a motorcycle in my garage, but seem to have forgotten my clothes! Or I was sleeping nude and dreamed a nice riff so I ran to my music studio with instruments and controllers in the background! You can see I’m passionate about it by the acoustic treatment on my walls and delicate mood lighting that helps me get into a creative headspace. My dog is sitting in a chair behind me, judging me silently.
So the above example is a bit of a special case since it appeals to me specifically because of my love for plants and automation.
But in a slightly less specific niche, you’ve pretty much nailed it. Someone sending something personal that they’re passionate about is hot for a bunch of obvious reasons (passion, sexy naked people thinking about the composition of their photos) and someone sending something creative would be pretty unique in my experience, and it’d be really fun to think they put that much effort into showing off.
That’s interesting.
I hope many people who you find attractive (or if you’re monogamous then your person) send you those pictures to enjoy in response to your excellent answer!
Step 1: Be attractive. Step 2: Don’t be unattractive Step 3: Return to step 1
#include <stdio.h> int main(){ step1: /*Step 1*/ printf("Be attractive\n"); /*Step 2*/ printf("Don't be unattractive\n"); /*Step 3*/ goto step1; }
You’ll just have to look at sexy dudes to copy
Get a fancy defused light, pose like the woman on the left, and get a tiara or some shit
The woman in the left has the titties of a goddess and I’m just some middle-aged dude in IT
Don’t let your dreams be dreams, brother. Use some of that IT money and buy yourself some nice titties
Sprinkle some flower petals around your zipper
I only have flour, does that work?
Self raising?
Nah it’s All-Purpose gurl u name it ;)
No Bi/Pan guys, I subscribe to harmful stereotypes of Bi/Pan dudes being greedy or overly promiscuous.
obligatory
There’s a woman on ig with multiple guides for this, actually. She posts a lot of them individually for free. Good shit.
Mirror selfies tend to be better than just pointing your phone at yourself, especially when you’re trying to show off your erection. If you want to get fancy, get some kind of stand/holder for your phone, point a lamp at yourself, try some poses. Wear something fancy and suggestive, leave some things to the imagination.
Get a top hat for you, and your boy.
You mean you all don’t like to look at a cropped way too zoomed in poorly lit photos of meat tubes? Why?
Don’t forget the double chin, it’s important!
search “Fabio”
Put some 18th century literature in the other hand.
If you wouldn’t just randomly whip it out and smack it on the table in front of her IRL, if that’s not the relationship you have, you can probably safely assume you shouldn’t be sending her dick pics
Send nudes*
*nudibranches
sapnu puas
How did you write that umop apisdn?
Send unsolicited cat pictures. Trust me, works way better.
One reason could be that most girls send nudes to a guy they actually like, and he asked for them. You wanna look good for him :o.
Most nudes I got from guys were just random and unwanted tho.
Here’s my unsolicited dick pic:
AROOOO!
Wow, didn’t expect that, gonna haunt my dreams :s
You guys are putting your faces in your nudes? I just take a picture of mine next to one of those little bottles of vodka you get on airplanes. I call it, cockfishing…
