[seeking input from people who use female restrooms]
Hello! I have been using women’s restrooms for some time now. Tonight however, will be the first time that I will be going out with some girlfriends where public toilets will be involved. Everyone I am going with knows that I am trans, and is supportive. My questions/concerns are:
- If I get up to use the bathroom, should I ask anyone if they would like to come with?
- If another woman gets up, should I offer to go with?
- If we are using the restroom at the same time, and I finish first, should I wait for them? If so, inside, or outside?
I’m mostly just wanting to act “normal,” and don’t want to unknowingly perform any social faux pas. Thanks!
Edit: one of the answers below made me realize there may differences across generations and localities. I’m an elder millenial, and I’m in the US.
It depends on where you are, if you’re in a loud bar or a club it’s more common to use the buddy system when going to the bathroom. Sometimes someone will ask you to go with them if they are stressed or annoyed at something and want to talk about it, but that’s rare in my experience.
Take a lipstick or something and “touch up” your makeup. That way you’re waiting for them without seeming like you’re waiting. But yes, generally you wait until your friend is ready to return. If it’s a crowded restroom it’s okay to wait outside, it’s up to you if you want to tell your friend that you’ll just be outside the door
It’s okay to say “oh, I’ll go with you” if you also need to use the restroom and it’s not a loud and energetic venue. Sometimes ya just gotta go and don’t realize until someone else is getting up lol
I generally dont ask if anyone wants to come with. If anyone has to go I feel like they usually will be like oh I have to go too and then come along. Sometimes I will ask close friends if they have to go too. Especially if the bathrooms are far from where we’re sitting / dancing.
If you also have to go at the same time yeah for sure you can be like oh ill come with i have to go too.
I do wait if we’re both going to the bathroom at the same time. Usually just stand by the door after I wash my hands. But it depends how well I know the person ig and if we had been talking. Some women are super chatty and will talk to you the whole time haha but I feel like most of us aren’t. It’s just nice to group up.
Never thought about this but you got me wondering now too! Commenting so I can follow the guides of others here.
I don’t know. I tried asking for a buddy a couple times when I was first coming out and super-nervous. Each time, the other person would give me an exasperated “oh just go to the bathroom”. Sigh.
Over time I’ve found I take a lot longer fussing with my appearance than others, so I generally don’t bother asking/offering anymore.
im trans and I use the women’s bathroom at work. I’m always wearing a pink or purple hoodie. I usually go alone.
