That’s a really nice ladel, though.
Honestly, I’d be completely happy with that.
Telling people what you want for your birthday feels weird though.
It feels like either we should be close enough that you can think about my hobbies, interests, and life and come up with something that fits, or we’re not close and you get me something fun and generic and it’s nice because I didn’t expect anything from you.
But the middle ground of being like 'its your birthday and I’m willing to spend an amount of money that I won’t really notice on you, but put in no mental effort whatsoever and in fact ask you to put in the mental effort of thinking of an appropriate gift" feels less like gift giving and more like making someone else do all the work so you can check a box.
Begin Rant:
I have found that any ‘weird feeling’ I have that effectively causes more useless and unnecessary things to be purchased is almost certainly been ingrained in our culture by some ancient and effective advertisement campaign. Giving cash is tacky, giving gift cards shows you care more; They should be able to guess what I want for a gift; Wedding Registers; Anniversary Gift Tiers (year of Paper?); Etc.
I don’t even bother checking anymore when I encounter something like that - I just try to recognize it when some POS has mind fucked me by having previously brainwashed one of my ancestors and try to restore sane thought.
Any unease and obligation can be replaced with the certainty that Cash is always welcome and useful, at least for now. That said, if you have some true knowledge, or genuine interesting and an attainable plan then by all means act decisively.
:End Rant
My SO gets people gifts he would want, things he’s interested in at the time. I stopped looking forward to gifting a long time ago, I put a lot of thought into his, but now it’s like, how about we each buy a pair of shoes we like for our birthdays.
Personally, the more interested in something I am, the harder it will be to get me a related gift I’ll be happy about. I’ve probably already got the more obvious stuff, and decent versions of them that I put a lot of thought into selecting.
That’s why I personally try to avoid interests and give gifts that are generally useful but less obvious. Things that people might have on a mental “that would be nice to have but I can’t be bothered right now” list.
They know I like games. They even know what games I tend to like. They don’t know every game I own.
They get me a game. I already own it.
Would have been better to just tell them what I’d like. 🤷♂️
You might think you know what they want and be totally wrong.
Asking never hurts. They can give you a list of options or say “whatever”, but you don’t have to be a baby about it.
If they say whatever, it just means they’re letting you know you don’t have to stress about it, but you should still make a genuine effort to get something they might want.
You might think you know what they want and be totally wrong.
I’d rather see somewhat put in thought and effort and be wrong, then ask me to put in thought and effort and be right.
Asking never hurts. They can give you a list of options or say “whatever”, but you don’t have to be a baby about it.
You’re literally putting all the gift giving work on them by asking them to think of a gift that they might like, that someone else isn’t likely to get them, and that would be in an appropriate price range for you.
If it’s a one-off like ‘hey, I’m really racking my brain this year and struggling coming up with a gift for you, got any ideas I can use as a jumping off point?’ then it’s one thing, if you’re doing it for everyone, every year, then you’re just throwing money at relationships, trying to give gifts without actually putting in the thought or effort that counts.
Well not everyone thinks like you
Everyone gets defensive when they feel criticized though.
You keep feeling superior, I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing
I forget who it was, but a public figure once said that birthdays are horrible because it allows people you thought you were close to to demonstrate how little they really know you
I have people in my life I care about deeply, yet I never know what gifts to get anyone. Not everyone thinks the same way as everyone else.
And how much time do you actually spend sitting down and brain storming and trying to think through each gift? Or does the obligation just come up in passing and you immediately go, ‘huh don’t know what they want, I’ll just ask them’, and stop trying?
So the gifter decided their friend needed more microplastics in their life
Slight misunderstanding when she said, “I want the receipt with the gift.”
fuck yeah, ladle. i think most people need a new ladle.
edit:spelling
I spent way too long wondering why your sentence looked wrong. I re-read it several times but it all seemed fine, I mean, that’s obviously how you spell ladel. But then I realised it’s actually ladle, and English is stupid.
and so am i! updated <3
A while back, I got one of those ladles that separates out the theoretically undesirable fat/oil from soup. We don’t consume a lot of soup, but have occasionally had the opportunity to appreciate the ladle. I’d recommend one, but probably wouldn’t give it as a gift.
edit: At least not a special occasion gift.
I’d be mad if i got a plastic cooking utensil
But would you answer “Whatever lol” to someone trying to be nice to you ?
Hopefully not.Is it nice to make someone do the mental labor of coming up with a gift?
Bringing the receipts works for most situations… not this one.
After 36 years of marriage, it do be that way.
laminiert
