• ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    4 days ago

    Well, good luck getting those guys to listen, the only ones who will are people like me who don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, the guys doing that don’t care.

    But then the problem becomes if I misread the “friendship seems like it’s going to be more” signal, some people are nice about it, but some will immediately spread that you’re a creep to the entire group and then you lose your hobby all because of a misunderstanding. And I’m not talking about being pushy or weird, just something as simple as “hey I was wondering if you’d like to go out sometime” can be enough to set that off. It’s happened to me before. I know the tendency of the internet is to immediately assume I asked to fuck her nose or something weird, but no, just “like coffee or lunch or something, no pressure?” Bam, one innocuous question from a misread signal, took no for an answer, am “creep” now.

    I also just so happen to be diagnosed, literally, as a fucking moron who cannot get social cues lol. It’d be nice if those “friends that want more” could use their words instead of trying to signal, I don’t speak that language well. Unfortunately that is due to, I believe the medical term is “broken brain,” and cannot be fixed.

    I used to have no problem meeting women in bars, but that wasn’t conducive to long term partnerships, perhaps unsurprisingly.

    • onion_trial@europe.pub
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      3 days ago

      It’s mean and childish of a person who got asked out and declined to publish who asked them out and even how, especially when they’re coining it in such a bad way. I’ve observed these situations too. Some things shouldn’t be gossiped because they can have a very negative impact on the mental situation of some people.

      I hope you’re doing fine and working on overcoming that fear. If you actually have a weakness on social clues like that, I think it wouldn’t be too bad of an idea to let them know somehow. I bet most will be very understanding. Most of the time, people are very polite when declining.