Trump, 79, admitted to Fox News on Tuesday that he feels he is “at the bottom of the totem pole” regarding his odds of making it to the promised land, leading many to ponder: Why is the president suddenly so hell-bent on making it to the pearly gates?
Trump makes me wish hell existed.
I am going to need something a little stronger than Hell for he and his kind…
Next up: Unsolicited call to the Pope to determine how much he’d need to donate to make it to heaven.
Papel Indulgence are a thing. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indulgence
Ohh yeah it is. Confession is also a hotline to low-key blackmail.
“Come on down to ‘Honest Epstein’s House of Confessions,’ where nobody will record your confessions for future blackmail purposes, we promise.🤞 Ask about our ‘Special Services’ for discreet wealthy men.”
Were a thing, and if Sky Daddy is real his mercy definitely isn’t for sale. He might double smite you for asking though.
Religion is 80% marketing, 20% helping the community. The Sky Cake is a lie, but it does get some good things done.
Unfortunately it does just as much harm, if not more.
80% harm, 20% good
Mobsters like Capone and Escobar always do lots of community outreach, so what? That 80% should be good works. Why don’t churches use their vast treasure to give free health care to the citizens? Or free college?
I’d say the same thing about the mafia, though 20% good might be a stretch.
Not enough smiting going on.
“…and, and, and, get this: I got Nobel Peace Prize coming in any minute now! It’s in the bag!”
“Hmm, that’s not what I hear.”
Please die a horrible death, like so painful you’d reach for a knife to just end it yourself. Actually I want it so painful and long lasting that you can’t reach, just lie there and fade into pain.
I’m not even a little bit concerned about his health. I guess that could be taken one of two different ways. I meant for the mean way.
I’m concerned that he has maintained his health for this long.
Oh, man, I’d feel so bad for him if he died screaming and terrified of going to Hell. 🥳
yeah as if he believes in anything but making money
That’s a strange way to spell “stealing”
This is a level of self recognition beyond what I thought he was capable of. Perhaps it is terminal lucidity kicking in. I hope he is suffering.
There’s no way we’re gonna be so lucky. Plus, JD in the WH? Yikes.
deleted by creator
Being a rapist pedo will do that, yeah. On top of all the other shit.
I’m gonna go on a limb and say that if that dude gets into heaven, they’ve got some super low standards. I mean, 2am drunkard with full-on coke bottle glasses low.
All these really good people coming in behind him saying “Wait, HE’S here? Why the fuck did I behave myself all these years? I could have gotten laid 1000 more times, but NOOOO, I have to remain faithful to my wife, and protect my mortal soul, and I end up in the same place as HIM? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!”
“Can I help you?”
“Oh, no, I’m sorry, I wasn’t calling you, I was using your name on vain, Sorry.”
“Yeah, you might wanna watch that, we take that one kind of seriously around here.”
Maybe if you want to go to heaven do something that has even the slightest positive impact on the world instead of constantly doubling down on making everything shittier…
Or if you really wanted to seal the deal you could turn yourself and all your cronies over to the justice system for your innumerable crimes and be held accountable.
Jk there’s no such thing as heaven.
I don’t believe for a moment that he is actually even remotely religious. I suspect he’s at most an apathetic agnostic. We all know he simply panders to Christians to get their support. He sees them as suckers who he can grift, just like their preachers do.
Trump worships himself. That’s all there is for him.
I buy it.
If you spend enough time near people on their way out you will find even agnostic and atheist praying at times, Pascals wager and all that. Almost everyone is scared of death, including those that won’t admit. One bad doctors visit can turn people religious.
My mother knew when her time was up. Her last words: “Well, that’s it, then, Love you. Bye.”
Some people might plead and beg. Not everyone.
He worships himself
This reminds me of a comedy bit where a guy gets to heaven and Hitlers there and Hitler goes “I know, I’m just as surprised as you are”
Satan: Nicky, get the pineapple ready.
Would be nice if he died before midterms and all the magats just shrug and say “welp parties over” and they never vote again.
I wouldn’t say “concerns”…
