Just sharing this as a “does anyone else ever feel this way?” post
I am fortunate to have a number of friends I have kept close most of my life, and a lot of family members who I am close with. I am unfortunate in that most of these people skew reactionary.
When I was a lib, it was easy for me to just write off political differences as inconsequential, especially since politics was a very minor part of my relationship with them. But now that I’m a commie, I’ve found it harder to not only keep up these relationships, but to actually feel love and care for people who I have loved and cared for for decades. Now in general, this isn’t much of a problem with friends because I moved away from my hometown, and these relationships are kept on life support by group chats. These chats are largely just meme shit or talking about sports. But I’ve been surprised by an actual changing of feelings for two people who were my closest friends at one point.
But there is one person in particular for whom I am struggling with this. This person is my oldest and closest friend. This person knows I skew left but not as far left as I actually am. And I knew this person had libertarian leanings, but politics was something they never actually cared about in the past. In the last 6-12 months, they’ve gotten more strident and vocal with the libertarian crap (for example, telling me yesterday that they think it’s ok that 16 million people will lose Medicaid coverage because the government shouldn’t be in the business of healthcare). And as they have begun to be more serious and into their libertarian ideology, I find myself not feeling those same feelings of love and care, and really not sure I want to be this person’s friend anymore. Someone I went to grade school with and really is like a brother. It’s like, there’s something about the libertarian ideology that if someone holds to it, I find it so repugnant that I can’t be in a relationship with person. Not to mention this person has all sorts of anti-communist brainworms, which is why I’ve held back telling them how far left I’ve gone. They’re genuinely not racist or anti-LGBTQ, I don’t really think they are a “bad” person… but I just am so against their politics that I find I am starting to lack those feelings of love and friendship you should have for a close friend now.
This just feels jarring to me as I have always had very stable affections for people, and have always held love for people despite disagreements and seeing things differently. It feels like there is this massive gulf in how we see the world (because there is ofc) and that just sorta kills how I feel about this person.
Anyone else?
Yeah. Lost someone I thought would be a friend for life to the anti-vax movement of all things. Lost another to Trumpism. Yet another to the disease of money that turned them into the hateful, I-got-mine, everyone-else-is-just-lazy mindset.
kinda doomer-ish
I get really defensive these days when people around me try to speak on things from a racist, ableist foundation and I haven’t really found anyone irl who doesn’t openly support the mass culling of who they consider “lesser” or “undeserving”. Add being vegan into the mix and most people I meet end up treating me as though I’m cringe, entitled, and delusional. The older I get the less I’m willing to even share space with a lot of people because of how overwhelmingly toxic the overall mindset of those around me is. I know it’s not the case everywhere, but where I live in the US the majority of folks you meet check a box that a lot of hexbears would say is deserving of the wall. I just try to treat everyone with a modicum of respect and a healthy dose of boundaries to protect myself until I can afford to relocate. In the end we can’t force our views or experiences on others, and many will never fully understand what it really means to want to make changes for a better future.