Maybe this is really silly or useless, but I was having another one of those moments looking in the mirror, analyzing my face and unable to see myself, but I discovered if I blur my vision slightly and let my field of vision become a bit more “big picture”, my brain correctly genders me. Maybe this is true for others?
Sometimes I recognize how arbitrary my perception of gender is (with myself and others), and maybe it’s just pragmatic to mess with your own perception when feeling down about how you look and not being able to see yourself.
I feel a bit insecure sharing this, it feels like an anti-tip to me, like saying, “are you feeling ugly? close your eyes!” - but I only share it because I actually did feel some happiness from it and it interrupted a moment of dysphoric obsessing. Can’t be that bad to have a coping mechanism to do that, right?
Yesss! One of the best parts of my day- waking up in the morning with blurry vision (morning vision+no glasses/contacts), removing my silk bonnet, having my hair gently fall out, and seeing myself from my standing mirror across the room. My hair looks beautiful, skin glowing, and I feel soo cozy. I get to see all the work the HRT is doing without being super critical of the things that are still shaping and changing!
omg, are you me!? I also sleep with my hair up in a silk bonnet and wake up in the morning without my glasses and sometimes have these moments, I could have literally written your comment myself. For me there is also something about early morning lighting that helps the skin look smooth and soft, too - I don’t turn the lights on because everything is so bright still, and I see myself in the mirror like you’re saying without my glasses and with that fresh post-sleep skin and in that lighting, it’s just the closest thing to seeing myself sometimes.