Been doing pretty well. College has been really good for me and I feel happy in spite of all that’s going on in the world. Thriving is resistance.

I had a good new years. Spent it with my best friend since kindergarten who also happens to be trans. We got high, ate snacks, and played video games. Fun time.

It’s been a decent week. Things have been calm. I like that the weather is finally cold now.

Awesome, congrats

Tumblr has a lot of LGBTQ people, but is a text based platform as opposed to a short form video platform.

Not doing too well right now. Currently on winter break so I’m isolated. I think things will get better for me mentally after the break. Really want top surgery but I don’t know if my ability to get it will be impacted by all the stuff after January or not. At this point I probably need a break from the news and social media and to go on hikes. Just have to put one foot in front of the other.

I did finally get all of my legal documents updated (minus birth certificate BC my birth state won’t let me), so yay for that.

400

Whoops, transed my gender:

I’m biologically FireWire

Visiting home for the holidays. Mixed feelings.

E specifically is linked to migraines, not T. Definitely think my body is more sensitive to it than average.

I feel ya, I used to be passively suicidal as well. I dreaded every aspect of the future because each passing day meant that my body would continue to develop in the incorrect alignment with my brain. Now the future feels much more manageable even though things are far from perfect. Each passing day means that my body gets closer and closer to being my own and that’s really helped me.

Yup, biochemical dysphoria is real. Estrogen just about killed me. Always had two weeks out of every month where I’d get crazy depressed for no discernable reason. I then took estrogen a while ago to stop mensuration while T did its magic and I initially had a terrible reaction to it. Made me extremely and irrationally depressed, gave me migraines, felt like shit all the time. Since being on T and getting off that E I haven’t expierenced anything like that.

Not sure. Start of the week was good but the past couple of days have been shit. Stressed out about changing my docs.

At this point in my life I am content with the good friends that I’ve made in college. I find that I have the closest friendships with queer men because there’s less of an atmosphere of us both constantly trying to signal and prove our masculinity and more of a “whatever make you happy, I don’t care” attitude. Less repression and insecurity, essentially.

I think that is likely. I notice myself doing the same thing subconsciously where my pitch is higher around women and lower around other men. I wonder if it’s a way to seem less threatening. I’m definitely not the only guy who does that.

If you’re perceived as a woman people tend to be friendlier and more polite towards you. My expierence with transitioning into a man is that people are generally more indifferent and cautious towards me now. I have to be a lot more mindful of coming across as “creepy” or “dangerous” than I used to be specifically with women who are strangers. I’m neither of those things, but the expectation of men being inherently threatening still prevails.

That’s good to know. I’m definitely gonna rush to get all of my docs changed after I get my certificate of name change in the mail. Unfortunately can’t get my birth certificate changed because of the state I was born in.

Southern culture is not what you just mentioned. It is most definitely not a monolith as you’re describing it.

There are a lot of sub regions of the south (such as southern Appalachian, south Atlantic, Cajun, etc). They are all very different from each other and while there are some similarities, there are a lot of differences too. One is in the way we speak. There are even varieties in southern accents. Lotta times you can tell what social class and region someone is from in the south based on their accent. Another is in the widely differing southern culinary practices. It’s not the monolith the media likes to paint it as.

And culturally the south is also very different in a lot of ways. There is a strong culture of respect to elders and using your manners compared to most other places in the US. Despite what you see on the media, people tend to be non confrontational and being direct is not considered polite. If someone has an issue it’s usually talked about when the person is away or in a quiet tone. People are a lot less scheduled and regimented, as well as being friendlier with strangers even in the cities. I had genuine culture shock after I moved to rural new england for the first time. It was such a contrast. I could go on and on about the specifics of southern culture if you’re interested in that.

I encourage you to read up on just how rich and diverse southern culture is. You didn’t say this directly, but by associating it solely with far right (presumably white) cishet MAGA Americans it actively diminishes the queer, people of color, and leftists who also are southerners and are proud of their culture. There’s a lot more of us than the media and Hollywood likes to portray it as. There is also a lot more cultural baggage to being a southerner when outside of the south because of history and media portrayal and people have a myriad of assumptions just because someone is from there. I’ve definitely experienced it.

I would encourage you to visit and see for yourself but yeah, it’s getting unsafe right now. The government is shitty, corrupt, and bigoted. I don’t know if I’ll be able to return home and visit my family and community (that I cherish) after trump takes office because I am trans. That doesn’t make me love my home any less. My point is, southern culture is not defined by being a rural, lower class MAGA person.

Yay, congrats!

Are they likely to reverse changes once they are made? Say I get my passport application/order in before he takes office. Is it still likely to go through?