• atro_city@fedia.io
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    26 days ago

    “I could have pointed the finger at my madam [employer] and said: ‘You’re violating these terms and this is how you should treat me.’ I would have been legally protected.”

    Interesting. It was another woman forcing her to do oral without protection? I am confused though, is the employer in the room with them or watching on a camera or something? And what was the legality of prostitution hitherto in Belgium?

    In fact, Victoria says she was raped by a client who had become obsessed with her. She went to a police station, where she says the female officer was “so hard” on her. "She told me sex workers can’t be raped. She made me feel it was my fault, because I did that job.” Victoria left the station crying.

    This is very similar to male judges being hardest on fathers in family court, with mothers getting custody more often than not and men being forced to pay alimony + child-support in the U.S. As of 2013 things have been better:

    The incidence of sole mother custody has decreased over the last decades and children increasingly alternate between the households of the mother and the father after divorce. The incidence of sole father custody has remained low.

    Though I haven’t had time to dig into the exact numbers.

    • Lumidaub@feddit.org
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      26 days ago

      It was another woman forcing her to do oral without protection?

      What exactly is so curious about this?

      This is very similar to male judges being hardest on fathers in family court

      A rape victim being told to fuck off because she “can’t be raped” is similar to dads being forced to pay alimony? Am I reading this right?

      • barsoap@lemm.ee
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        26 days ago

        This is very similar to male judges being hardest on fathers in family court, with mothers getting custody more often than not and men being forced to pay alimony + child-support in the U.S.

        A rape victim being told to fuck off because she “can’t be raped” is similar to dads being forced to pay alimony? Am I reading this right?

        Do you want lemmy to become twitter? Please tell me you don’t want lemmy to become twitter.

        • Lumidaub@feddit.org
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          26 days ago

          I did ask if I was reading this right. Which you may have read. Which might say something about your own reading comprehension, but I don’t know what.

          • barsoap@lemm.ee
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            26 days ago
            long-winded good-faith interpretation of the original

            A female sex worker was complaining about a female police officer being harsh with her. This was compared to male judges being harsh to fathers in custody hearings.

            The intended meaning was “Gender A is harsh to gender A, gender B to gender B, provably/hypothetically the A and B pairings are less harsh with each other”. Provably in the custody case, hypothetically in the sex worker reporting a crime case. (We only have an anecdote about that, the officer might simply have generally been an asshole. Could be tested with an implicit bias questionnaire on a larger population or such ask a social scientist not a stemlord like me)

            None of it was about comparing rape to custody, that’s a waffle. Rule of thumb: If it sounds like someone implied something completely outrageous do a triple take you probably missed what they said.


            Which might say something about your own reading comprehension, but I don’t know what.

            Have you ever considered whether such a question can be considered an accusation. “Am I reading this right” cannot only be understood as a simple question, but “Retract that at once”. For that reason throwing such things out willy-nilly is toxic to conversation, it’s the exact opposite of “assume good faith”, two or three such comments in a row and you have a spiral and then you have twitter.

            Whether I could read your mind as to which of the meanings you intended is irrelevant to the fact that it needed calling out to prevent a spiral. If you really simply want to ask whether you’ve missed something, “I don’t believe this is what you meant to say but I’m completely lost” or such would be a safe way to go about it.

            And it’s always beneficial to try to find a good-faith interpretation, btw, even if you’re for sure dealing with an abhorrent commentor, or a random troll: Replying to the good-faith interpretation instead of what they meant to say is ludicrously disarming. They don’t know how to deal with it. Their hate goes unheard, the conversation becomes positive, it’s ultimate verbal aikido. (And just for the record no I’m not claiming I’m always doing it).

            • Lumidaub@feddit.org
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              25 days ago

              Nah, you got the general sentiment right, I was/am obviously doubting your intentions and giving you opportunity to explain yourself in the event that I am misunderstanding.