Sovereign citizen-tier argument
there’s a difference between “randomly” and “by chance”
This lawyer should be thrown into jail for such an advanced case of lawyer brain
It’s like a magic trick your Honour, we shuffle the deck of cards, we know where the cards are
🎩💫🐇
Sophistry was such a hated practice in ancient Greece that sometimes sophists got stabbed and the local authorities would just look the other way because their bullshit artistry was that repulsive.
Your honor we weren’t selling beer we were selling maps to a party with free beer!
That’s how gambling can be both illegal in Japanese prefectures but also pinball parlors are mysteriously across the street from special vendors that will offer cash for the pinball prize items.
i thought i was just selling premium luxury cardboard boxes handcrafted in a japanese hot spring town how the fuck was i supposed to know there was fentanyl in them
If a poor person tried this same argument, especially the “randomly and by chance aren’t the same thing” they’d have the book thrown at them and be held in contempt of court for.insulting the judges intelligence.
Your honor, I said it was “random” but never specified the probably distribution
As unbelievable as it might sound, in the USA justice system, if a lawyer knows their client is guilty as hell, they are not supposed to just pretend otherwise and make up crazy legal theories in court to try to get them off the hook. Lawyers who make such grossly bad-faith arguments like this in front of a judge are supposed to get disbarred.
I read all of the written opinions from my home state’s Supreme Court(it’s a weird hobby, I know), which includes any appeals of state bar disciplinary actions. It takes a lot to actually get disbarred, and it’s almost always for repeatedly doing things that are cut and dried no-no’s, like misappropriating client funds. The bar disciplinary board and the judges who hear the appeals are all lawyers and they cut an incredible amount of slack for this kind of stuff. This argument, while dumb, wouldn’t even merit a reprimand.
Lawyer brain
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It’s insane to me that so many people seem to have a concept of legal loopholes informed entirely by like non-specific-pop-culture. As if it’s magic incantations that get power to fuck off instead of like a purposefully built system.
Here’s a hot take: all the sovereign citizens and equivalent in other nations are just the average persons general ideas about how the law works cranked to 11. Basically everyone believes in the magic incantation, they just overshot a bit.
100%. There’s a pervasive sort of belief that laws are discrete, literal things carved into the very ontology of existence instead of fuzzy guidelines enforced or ignored at the arbitrary whims of the legal system which also has no actual obligation to know the laws and whose will is still considered legitimate even when it is directly breaking the law or making up imaginary ones that don’t exist but some dipshit cop thinks they do. Like it’s just straight up these civic cult brainworms that legislatures are doing some sort of magic ritual to create Law and this then becomes some sort of real and true binding principle to be unfailingly carried out by reliable enforcers.
Dial up that belief even further and it becomes like the civic cult’s version of numerology and prophesy through analyzing the holy texts, where they believe so wholly in legal literalism that they start to think it’s a magic system and they’re wizards who can exploit its literalness and nature of being fundamental to reality to their own advantage.
You just need to serve jury duty twice to know that what goes on in a courtroom really boils down to whatever the judge thinks should go on and any deviation from what should be going on is resolved by you “filing a complaint” and hoping someone cares about your complaint.
additionally that they are the first ones to think of this novel “loophole” because they are so smart
I mean, some liberals do kinda act as if the world operates like that. The whole “rule of law” shit etm.
Can’t wait for the class action suit where I get $3.50
Gober argued there’s a difference between "randomly’ and “by chance”.
What’s the difference?
-–
Edit
It’s been ~17 minutes and I’m almost disappointed in Hexbear. There’s been no snark that one is an adverb and the other is a prepositional phrase.
“Your honor, while there may be such a mathematical concept of randomness we can’t produce it as such even in the modern computing era. Therefore, all things considered that there is no actual randomness, we cannot say that our chosen winner has been chosen randomly as such. I rest my case.”
your honor, there’s no law saying I can’t make a normal distribution with a kurtosis of 1 trillion.
Randomly is when I find an event inside of a probability space. By chance is when I find a $100 bill on the ground.
how's this for your edit?
The spelling, for starters
one of them hopefully won’t get
in troubleGetting a response within 17 minutes on hexbear???
For a gimme.
At this point. I genuinely want to ask Elon Musk what he’s playing at?
To me, he’s more of a liability to the right than an asset. Literally scamming republicans in particular when back then at least his “brand” was pretty bipartisan so he can grift both sides.
Someone i know who has personal dealings with him says COVID and his trans daughter made him go off the deep end.
Was the covid part of the deep end dive because of the temporary closing of his magic car factories?
based trans daughter waging a ppw against elon’s mental state
Vivian hangs out with DAMAG3, who’s a transfem rapper and also a communist. Good chance she’s based for a multitude of reasons.
i think he comes up with dumb shit while in a K-hole and he’s rich enough to make it a reality without anyone to tell him to stop. Reports say he is a heavy ketamine user.
Maybe he wasn’t kidding about going to prison if Kamala is elected
Lmao reminds me of the time a lawyer talked to Elon like one talks to a child with their hand in the cookie jar
Which time?
I’ve been looking for the court transcript, but can’t find it.
The interaction was basically the lawyer asking him if he was the CEO and he said no, and then the lawyer showing him a document he signed as CEO the day before. Very funny.Did find this, which is from the same transcript
I also found this set of highlights, which includes some other fun stuff https://qz.com/elon-musk-deposition-highlights-1851399387
“but… But… Your honor we’re just doing what we do for all politicians! Biased judge!! We don’t bribe politicians, we pay them a salary as they work as advisors for us after
they serve usworking in government! How is this different!? A loophole is a loophole!!”Actual bullshit artists will use a lot of words to try to explain that lobbying isn’t just ritualized bribery.
should have asked a skill testing question, smdh
I read this in my head with Milo from Trash Future’s voice
