No problem.

I’ll add one other thing: Others have mentioned couples therapy. This is a great idea. Even if the relationship is already over, worst case scenario is they both gain some insight into their own toxic behavioural patterns to make their next relationship better.

Russell Brand? More.like rapist.

In Canada we call Doughnut holes timbits. Tim Horton’s sells them and they’re the only thing on the menu that doesn’t really suck ass now.

No one teaches you how to have a relationship. So people just kind of default into patterns that are often toxic.

It’s why taking a step back and being deliberate about how to communicate is so important. There needs to be a shared understanding and deliberateness about how to intentionally communicate.

And it needs to be something that applies equally to everyone involved. No copouts, no special circumstances that only go one way, there need to be firm, hard rules with specific consequences that apply evenly to all involved that are arrived at communally, and not unilaterally.

But can they discover why kids like the sweet taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

I can’t think of anything in particular since the most important thing, Deez nuts, are 100% Canadian.

It takes two to tango.

The defensive lashing out type stuff happens because he hasn’t established firm boundaries around it. And she’s probably lashing out about stuff because… Well. Doesn’t matter, really.

There need to be firm boundaries about how to have a discussion that apply evenly to both of them. Both of them need to buy into these rules. When the lines are crossed the discussion ends.

This isn’t about shutting down a discussion but having the awareness to recognize constructive versus destructive discussions.

Setting reasonable, adult boundaries and rules, sticking to them, and establishing that certain behaviours are problematic are the only way this gets better.

If she’s unable to recognize her own defensiven ss as a problem and work on it all of this falls apart but having the framework in place will allow transparency into the why of it.

When I get back excited I usually just jump up and down. People are all so different.

My religion is “keep your religion dar the fuck away from me”.

I believe in freedom from religion even more strongly than of religion

I’ll change your oil using my asshole for nine sheckels and a tuppence.

The thing in this post about curiosity isn’t just a lemmy/online thing.

The vast majority of people are mainly interested in themselves. Like - if you have trouble on dates, making friends, getting along at work, anything to do with people in general - approaching them with a sense of sincere curiosity will completely change things overnight.

Get people to talk about themselves, be supportive in your discussions with them, and shut the fuck up wherever possible and suddenly you’re interesting, a good person, kind, whatever - traits you’ve done exactly fuck all to demonstrate, but that people will swear are true because you seem interested in them.

It’s fucking bonkers but it’s true. Curiosity can change your world.

I think that some people are just assholes. And other people are too sensitive.

Sometimes its a bit of both. Sometimes its one or the other.

I enjoy mercilessly shit talking people who mercilessly shit talk me back. But I have the social awareness to recognize when this isn’t appropriate, and to treat people the way they want to be treated, not how I want to be treated.

Not to detract from the discussion but I just want to highlight that once upon a time virtually every reddit post was like this.

An article or video claiming something, someone in the comments providing a counterpoint, and then further rational counterpoints to those being made.

People rationally discussing two sides of an issue that arguably has two sides. Go figure.

Uh.

I think this all a little deeper than “is Putin telling the truth?”

Neither the US or Putin is trustworthy at all on fucking anything right now.

The issue that where you could once go and see people that did it just because they wanted to its now mixed in with / overpowered by by people that want to make money.

No one is arguing anyone is entitled to anyone else’s naked body. But I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a preference for wanting to see people who are naked because they want to be, and not because they want to earn money.

Not to mention all the evil / sexual exploitation that comes up once money is in the equation.

Hood news. The afterlife is the same thing as the before life. Remember that? The 4 biillion odd years or so before you existed? Exactly.

Stop enabling this shit.

They can intentionally take space or they can talk it out but this shit is infantile and no one with any self respect should tolerate it.

Congrats. You’re an emotionally mature and aware adult. Most people never get to that stage. Its fucking bewildering.

You actually think there are going to be fucking elections in four years? Jfc you people deserve this shit.

The issue isn’t that the parties are the same. It is that neither should be in power. And you’re all too fucking brainwashed to realize the only way out of this mess without violent revolution is a third party gaining power. And even with, probably.