A rollercoaster. I went from thinking I would get HRT this week, to thinking I wouldn’t get HRT for months to a year, to hoping I can get it within the next week while still worrying that I’ll be fucked again by the healthcare system. It might be that even more of my problems are explained by being trans than I ever could have imagined.
It’s honestly surreal how embedded this all is in my past. My romantic feelings, my physical health, my social problems with “other” boys, my mood, my parents, the toys I liked, my feelings of self hatred, what I named my fucking dog! Some of it might be misattribution, but many of these things are hard to deny. I really was always this way.
I thought my past didn’t line up, that I wasn’t a real girl, but the rabbit hole never seems to end. Nothing about coming out was a mistake except not doing it harder and sooner. I never could have imagined how amazing this has been. I’m finally alive 😊
A rollercoaster. I went from thinking I would get HRT this week, to thinking I wouldn’t get HRT for months to a year, to hoping I can get it within the next week while still worrying that I’ll be fucked again by the healthcare system. It might be that even more of my problems are explained by being trans than I ever could have imagined.
It’s honestly surreal how embedded this all is in my past. My romantic feelings, my physical health, my social problems with “other” boys, my mood, my parents, the toys I liked, my feelings of self hatred, what I named my fucking dog! Some of it might be misattribution, but many of these things are hard to deny. I really was always this way.
I thought my past didn’t line up, that I wasn’t a real girl, but the rabbit hole never seems to end. Nothing about coming out was a mistake except not doing it harder and sooner. I never could have imagined how amazing this has been. I’m finally alive 😊