So there’s this really cool trick:
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Face AWAY from the toilet with the heels of your feet close to the base.
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Un-button/tie/velcro/zip the whole waistband (not just the fly) such that you can-
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Lower your entire pants to the floor.
Now this part can be a bit tricky and does take some practice to keep your balance but
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Bend your knees down into a squat while leaning ever so slightly backwards (you can put a hand on a nearby solid object such as the sink or a wall to steady yourself. They also make raised seats with handles on either side if you need help with this).
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Situate your buttocks firmly on the seat.
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Separate your thighs such that you can
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Point your penis down between your legs towards the toilet bowl.
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Proceed to urinate.
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Hygiene is the same as peeing using other techniques.
This technique is all but foolproof; it is almost impossible to miss the toilet bowl.
Hope this helps!
You’re either a woman or have a small pee pee and never had your pee pee touch the inside of the toilet bowl when you try to stick it into the tiny gap between your groin and the toilet basin.
I’d rather pee in split streams than rub my precious dick on the inside of a toilet bowl.
You forgot to state that the lid should be up
Now I’ve got piss everywhere
Sitting can be very difficult first thing in the morning sometimes. Well, not the sitting part but the getting your dick to point down into the bowl part.
On those days you lie down on the toilet in a planking position, penis pointing down into the toilet
Well step 1 should be: Beat that meat into submission
1+1=2
2+2=4
4+4=8
8+8=16
16+16=32
32+32=64
64+64=128
128+128=256
256+256=512
512+512=1024
1024+1024=2048
2048+204… submission (if not, sing this, with the same voice ☞ https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=NfnTKUkCafo
Some mornings, after you sit, you need to bend over until your forehead is on your feet.
I prefer to put my hands on the floor and lift my feet up against the wall.
You forgot the most important step:
- Wash your roommates hairy ass grease off the seat.
Usually why I stand.
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or, y’know, you could sit down. saves on cleaning even when you fail at handling your dick.
You apparently have no idea the dick’s talent for aiming for the crack between the seat and rim, no matter how you go about “tucking” it downwards to try to prevent just that. Even sitting, leaning so far forward your hands are on the floor, is no guarantee.
I agree that this can happen, but at least its pretty rare. Standing while peeing however makes a mess in a radius around the toilet every time. I mean, when you live alone and have no guests ever then this might not be an issue, but in every other case it’s pretty nasty.
I’m glad to learn that mine lacks that talent. I never even knew that was a thing.
But then you risk it touching the inside parts of the toilet which is nasty
Growers win again
clean your toilet mr long schlong
So the options are: pee sitting down and always have clean the inside of the toilet. Or pee standing up, and sometimes clean what you missed
Check the meatus for lint. Somehow, there’s always fucking lint!
This sounds like a circumcised circumstance?
Anon needs to add “pee” between the fapping and sleeping in his bedtime routine, and the leftover spunk won’t be around to do that.
“Me and my dick no longer see eye to eye.”
“…That’s probably for the best, ophthalmologically speaking.”
The perks of living alone. You just flush and go about your day.
I swear I always get a cupful trapped in the hood every time I’m wearing light coloured trousers and then it escapes when I stand up.
Maybe not take a piss with a morning boner could help
Can’t knock the solution, it does work
Reasons I unironically want a FUD/STP device; Not that I’ve bothered to be pro-active about it. Even sitting to pee does not reign-in the dick’s non-sense.
