this is really good but it could match the meter a little bit more near the end. there’s one syllable extra. how about

and hes gotta haha and hes gotta say yes at the window with open delight

Where have all the sickos gone

And where’s the *latest fad?

Where’s the labels to explain to me

Why the libs are really mad?

Isn’t there an old man drawing at a little seat

An eagle, a mom, and dad,

And a crying Liberty?

last line is off by one syllable

(your title matches though, thank heavens!)