I went on a date with a guy in college and he talked about how big various anime girls tits were the entire time. Insta-ghost. Idk if that was a fixable personality trait but it wasn’t my responsibility anyway.
Not quite as bad, but I went on a date with someone that just explained video games I hadn’t played. He would ask about a video game and if I hadn’t played it he’d speak about it uninterrupted for 10-20 minutes explaining the levels. Not even interesting lore or anything. It would be like listening to someone explain a speedrun, but their speedrun is just playing the game normally. I like video games and play with my partners and friends, and I even watch videos about video games I haven’t played and I could only stand 3 of these rounds before ending the date. He was completely uninterested in talking about anything else and didn’t even want to talk about games I had actually played. Only games I knew nothing about. Totally bizarre. It felt like a prank. Would make a great greentext from his perspective though.
You literally describe my fear with my 10 y/o. He is a talker. He’s pretty quick witted and can even make jokes that adults can appreciate. But hell if he can’t just talk at you.
We are slowly engaging it. I hope he becomes an interesting, empathetic young adult who gives space and shows real interest in others. I’ll do my best, but I didn’t get better at this till my late twenties.
It’s good parenting to be aware of that sort of thing, but as you seem to guess I wouldn’t worry too much. Kids are kind of just like that. I have a 13 yr old in my life right now and she is pretty similar, so I think it’s healthy. The last thing we want to do as adults is make them feel small or like their thoughts and interests don’t matter.
For what it’s worth I don’t mind talkers, it really is just about place/time/topic. I’m sure he’ll make it through. I hear encouraging questions about others helps, “thank you for asking”/“what a great question” etc. but I don’t know if it really helps so much as is something we do in the interim to feel like we’re helping while they just mature in the background. Seems like you’re on top of it though. Best of luck to you both!
I went on a date with a guy in college and he talked about how big various anime girls tits were the entire time. Insta-ghost. Idk if that was a fixable personality trait but it wasn’t my responsibility anyway.
Not quite as bad, but I went on a date with someone that just explained video games I hadn’t played. He would ask about a video game and if I hadn’t played it he’d speak about it uninterrupted for 10-20 minutes explaining the levels. Not even interesting lore or anything. It would be like listening to someone explain a speedrun, but their speedrun is just playing the game normally. I like video games and play with my partners and friends, and I even watch videos about video games I haven’t played and I could only stand 3 of these rounds before ending the date. He was completely uninterested in talking about anything else and didn’t even want to talk about games I had actually played. Only games I knew nothing about. Totally bizarre. It felt like a prank. Would make a great greentext from his perspective though.
You literally describe my fear with my 10 y/o. He is a talker. He’s pretty quick witted and can even make jokes that adults can appreciate. But hell if he can’t just talk at you.
We are slowly engaging it. I hope he becomes an interesting, empathetic young adult who gives space and shows real interest in others. I’ll do my best, but I didn’t get better at this till my late twenties.
It’s good parenting to be aware of that sort of thing, but as you seem to guess I wouldn’t worry too much. Kids are kind of just like that. I have a 13 yr old in my life right now and she is pretty similar, so I think it’s healthy. The last thing we want to do as adults is make them feel small or like their thoughts and interests don’t matter.
For what it’s worth I don’t mind talkers, it really is just about place/time/topic. I’m sure he’ll make it through. I hear encouraging questions about others helps, “thank you for asking”/“what a great question” etc. but I don’t know if it really helps so much as is something we do in the interim to feel like we’re helping while they just mature in the background. Seems like you’re on top of it though. Best of luck to you both!
I wonder if he’ll have a moment of clarity in a decade or so about how weird that was?
Nah, he’ll blame it all on wokism.
I’m sad to say that I wouldn’t bet on it…
I mean, girls have boobs, so they must like to talk about them, right? Right???
Some of them do, but best not to assume so!
Based.