My mom is 78 and she has been guilt tripping me to be her care taker. She is currently living with my brother to help raising his kids.
She constantly tells me once they are old enough, she will move in with me so that I can take care of her.
The thing is I don’t know if I am capable. I can’t guarantee the future.
I also don’t want to shoulder the financial burden. She has money but she wants me to pay for her expenses so that she can leave (my brother’s) a generous inheritance. She always tellsd me I won’t get anything since 'i have no kids and I have enough money, and he needs more."
Now we are not talking. It hurts. Why can’t she understand not everyone can be a caretaker? Why is she expecting me to help raising his kids indirectly?
While this is a convo for your family, alone, remember that a proper care arrangement can include semi-independent living in a complex with individual patio-homes where the care options scale up with need and not before.
In my region, the cost of this is 3/4 the patient’s pay, and none of their assets, so it also scales with one’s ability to pay from current income. If the patient is on OAP, then 75% of that goes to care, cafeteria, rent, strata stuff, etc.
As potentially the only option with CPR-trained staff on call 24/7, it also may be an appealing option that keeps her independent and you sane.
Do you live in the same country as OP? Because if they’re in the US it’s highly unlikely that’s available to them.