• some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    5
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    20 hours ago

    When I was on dating apps, I specifically filtered out anyone with religious beliefs (other than Buddhists, because they seemed inoffensive to me).

    Got a selfie with a cross on your necklace? Nope. Same for women with photos with guns, anyone with an American flag, and any woman posing leaning against the hood of a sports car. There are telltale signs that we have different values. Honestly, I appreciate your advertising that we aren’t compatible and saving me the effort finding out on my own.

    • Owl@mander.xyz
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      17 hours ago

      women with photos with guns

      any woman posing leaning against the hood of a sports car

      We sure have different values

      • Dutczar@sopuli.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        9 hours ago

        To be fair, I would too with the first. But I’m European so that as a profile/dating app pic sounds insane.

        Technically the second too, not because it’s a red flag for me, but just because I don’t particularly care and have better odds elsewhere if that’s half their personality.

      • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        15 hours ago

        Perhaps. I think guns are something to be handled with care, not something to enjoy as a hobby. I think sports cars are a waste of money because, realistically, you’ll be driving on city streets with speed limits in most cases.

        I have a comfortable sedan because the pan taught me that I can’t rely on ride-shares and mass transit in a once-in-a-lifetime (we hope) emergency. I barely drive it. It’s a tool. And I don’t own guns because I think they’re dangerous and I’m prone to bouts of depression (I’m bi-polar). Anyone who thinks these are cool or part of their identity is not someone I want as a life partner. Even without being judgmental about these things, they signal different priorities from my own.

        Now a someone with a full bookshelf in the background is another thing entirely. Or playing musical instruments. Or out in nature. These are things I value.

        • Dutczar@sopuli.xyz
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          9 hours ago

          You know, as reasonable as it is, the last paragraph does sound totally corny. I’d be fine dating someone who’s not as much of a nerd as me, or is a nerd in a different way like movies.

          Especially the bookshelf part, since in my experience, a lot of people with piles of books don’t read them (I gave the worse ones away), and making a dating app pic in a library isn’t the first thing that comes to mind.