At least in my professional experience, it really doesn’t fucking matter if I tell you what to do… You’re probably going to just keep doing the same shit anyway. In fact, most of the time if I actually tell my clients what they should do, they’ll just think I’m an asshole. Not a jaded response, by the way, just 11 years of experience, doing it my way and watching others do it wrong over and over.
I deal with people with severe behavioral disorders. They know what they’re doing and they know what they’re supposed to do, but impulse almost always wins over reasoning. If I want someone to change, my ultimate goal is to make them come to a realization and to feel like they did so on their own. Then I want them to want to tell me about it. So then, when they come so me and tell me something, I can listen and give feedback based on our previous talks to reinforce what they did. Hopefully, the next time that issue comes up, they can then use that to make the right decision again.
The reason it’s done this way is because someday, I’m not going to be around to tell you what to do, so you need to be able to figure it out on your own. That’s my job. I can give you the tools to change. I can kinda tell you how to use them, but I can’t force change on you any more than I can live your life for you.
Good explanation. Also on brand for a therapist to compare themselves to God.
Otoh, I feel like therapy would be a lot more helpful for many people if the therapist just said “I’m not going to answer those questions for you because I know you’ll never affect meaningful change in your life from an answer that someone else gives you. I’m just here to prod you into figuring out your own solution, whatever that happens to be.”
Oh I know, and it’s funny as hell even from my end because it’s so very true. I would 100% use a throwback just like that!
I’ve just known a lot of folks out there who were soured on therapy, even hostile about it, that I felt it might help to kinda explain why one might use it.
Appreciate your chiming in. I always squirm a little at jokes that imply that therapy is useless. Even if they’re funny, it’s a difficult topic and it’s sad to think it’s reinforcing that mindset for someone who actually needs help.
Have you watched Shrinking? I know it’s not a particularly ethical representation of therapy, but I’ve been curious to hear a therapist’s opinion of it as escapism.
I haven’t. I heard about it, but I don’t have Apple+. I saw so many red flags just looking at the plot synopses for the first season that I’m kinda curious to see how they handle transference and projection with all the ethics violations and boundary breaking.
At least in my professional experience, it really doesn’t fucking matter if I tell you what to do… You’re probably going to just keep doing the same shit anyway. In fact, most of the time if I actually tell my clients what they should do, they’ll just think I’m an asshole. Not a jaded response, by the way, just 11 years of experience, doing it my way and watching others do it wrong over and over.
I deal with people with severe behavioral disorders. They know what they’re doing and they know what they’re supposed to do, but impulse almost always wins over reasoning. If I want someone to change, my ultimate goal is to make them come to a realization and to feel like they did so on their own. Then I want them to want to tell me about it. So then, when they come so me and tell me something, I can listen and give feedback based on our previous talks to reinforce what they did. Hopefully, the next time that issue comes up, they can then use that to make the right decision again.
The reason it’s done this way is because someday, I’m not going to be around to tell you what to do, so you need to be able to figure it out on your own. That’s my job. I can give you the tools to change. I can kinda tell you how to use them, but I can’t force change on you any more than I can live your life for you.
Think God in Futurama.
Good explanation. Also on brand for a therapist to compare themselves to God.
Otoh, I feel like therapy would be a lot more helpful for many people if the therapist just said “I’m not going to answer those questions for you because I know you’ll never affect meaningful change in your life from an answer that someone else gives you. I’m just here to prod you into figuring out your own solution, whatever that happens to be.”
Well, the post was just a joke, but that sounds reasonable.
Oh I know, and it’s funny as hell even from my end because it’s so very true. I would 100% use a throwback just like that!
I’ve just known a lot of folks out there who were soured on therapy, even hostile about it, that I felt it might help to kinda explain why one might use it.
Appreciate your chiming in. I always squirm a little at jokes that imply that therapy is useless. Even if they’re funny, it’s a difficult topic and it’s sad to think it’s reinforcing that mindset for someone who actually needs help.
Sooo therapists can’t just do a magical reconstruction, leaving out trauma and shit?
Why can’t shit be easy just once :(
How much trauma do you want me to leave out? Because shit gets easier the more I’m allowed to hurt you.
yes.
Humans are not easy :/
Unless it’s your mum
Have you watched Shrinking? I know it’s not a particularly ethical representation of therapy, but I’ve been curious to hear a therapist’s opinion of it as escapism.
I haven’t. I heard about it, but I don’t have Apple+. I saw so many red flags just looking at the plot synopses for the first season that I’m kinda curious to see how they handle transference and projection with all the ethics violations and boundary breaking.