Caw! Caw!

Oh sorry, I meant “Caca! Their argument is caca!”

Emperor Trump has a quiz for you dissidents: does this napkin smell like novichok? Answer honestly, you peasant.

2010 Elon: That’ll do, Captain. That’ll do.

Fantastic username, Ace

Hey now, you’re an all star

Shut up! Quit using up all the rich people’s free speech

“Mission accomplished” 🛩️🪂🛳️

What was that greatest trick that the devil pulled again? Oh well, I’m sure those are unrelated thoughts.

He’d execute Hunter before pardoning him. Unless Hunter or J6ers are willing to cough up enough dough to buy a pardon, they’re gonna get ignored and rot in a cell. Maybe Epstein themselves.

Official act?

Bernie is one of the few remaining politicians in our country who are in politics as a service vs a career. I wouldn’t be surprised if after every time he gets elected he consoles himself, “this’ll be the last time you need to run, this is the cycle where we’ll fix American politics and you can go back to your dream of opening an ice cream shop.”

I fucking love you. Thanks for giving me a nice laugh before turning in for the night.

About fucking time. What’s the point in having friends if you can’t drunkenly jump from their moving car in the middle of Death Valley during a heatwave? YOLO!

Edit: Apparently the ridiculous scenario and “YOLO” weren’t enough to indicate that this was sarcasm…

I wonder how much of my family will die in the upcoming Holocaust. I wonder how many of them will look back at voting for Trump and realize where they went wrong. When Trump’s accelerationist cohorts start trying to get Israel to burn, I wonder how many of my Israeli family members will say, “oh well, at least we got to kill lots of Palestinians. I was worried Harris might have slowed us down.”

They can hold it just fine, but their aim and dexterity is shit. Fuckin’ no-opposable-thumb-having muppets.

I don’t get why people think this could possibly happen. No matter how much of an asshole, who in your neighborhood can afford so much mindflayer tadpoles altered with ancient netherese magic and weaponized by a villainous well-dressed triad for world domination that they can just shove them into Reeses all willy-nilly and hand them out to random kids. If you’re going through the trouble of illegally acquiring some mindflayer tadpoles altered with ancient netherese magic and weaponized by a villainous well-dressed triad for world domination, you’re not gonna shove them into candy on a lark. You’re gonna fucking use that shit.

Piss trickling down on us would be an improvement

“Sure, I knew that voting for Trump meant more and worse genocides including on American soil, but I expected it from him. Seeing a genocide under Kamala Harris’s tenure as not-president made me worry she wouldn’t actually help once she became president. And then I’d be disappointed. Why would I want to possibly be disappointed when I can instead experience horrors that meet expectations?”

- Probably a couple million people who shot their foot with their own cut-off nose as ammunition

I feel bad for the guy. We know what CTE does and we know what his future will hold. If he doesn’t die by his own hand after angrily beating someone who didn’t deserve it, he’s gonna go out confused, scared, and probably shaking horrifically.

But that doesn’t mean he deserves anyone to vote for him. This isn’t homecoming king for a feel-good story. Also, dude was kinda a dick before the repeated TBIs, so probably not homecoming king material either.