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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: May 11th, 2024

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  • The purpose is for previously comfortable people to get used to taking action to oppose fascism. It’s mostly a large visible Fuck You Trump party, but you meet people there. You got up, you broke your routine, you were in line at Michaels with other people who were also buying posterboard and markers. They’re in your community. You aren’t surrounded by them - they are surrounded by us. And, huh. There are more of us here then there are cops in town. Interesting.

    At events, those previously comfy people make connections and when they say “i wish i was doing more” someone else can say “some of us are going to the home depot on monday to interfere with ICE.” or even just “there’s a dinner after this why don’t you come too?”

    Then it feels less weird to get up and do something next week. There are plenty of people who will just have the fuck you party and not do anything else, but there are also plenty who will do more.

    Its purpose is to create momentum. That’s how I see events like this. Most people don’t have a quick on switch for taking big actions. You practice things and talk about things first.

    If you’re on bsky, @drlisacorrigan has a thread that discusses the theory behind events like this. It starts:

    In social movement studies, we talk about how marches and protests expand the threshold of acceptable risk so that people take more and bigger social risks IN PUBLIC, EN MASSE. This is extremely important for the bourgeois white folks holding signs and building social rapport.

    I think you have to be logged in to read her thread, but I believe what she says is the theory behind why nokings was created. On their page, you find a ton of other groups that are partnering - real world groups that do real things - and they also have weekly suggestions of actions to take.

    So the demands of the protest, imo, are for comfortable people to get up, figure out who’s around them and with them, and take action or join one of the partnering organizations that fit their interests and skillset. Since the problem can’t be solved with one single action, like impeachment, there needs to be labor involved in every aspect.

    Another demand, much catchier, is that we not have kings in the United States.
















  • If I eat something that has gone bad and I get food poisoning, I might be unable to eat that food for a long time afterwards. Even if I really want to and miss it and am super careful to make sure it’s safe. I might feel mildly sick even just from the smell of it. My body is just trying to protect me, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that food, but it sucks. Given time, and in some cases careful cautious introduction, I might be able to get it down again. Had this experience with a pot pie once, and it took a couple years to eat them again, even when I looked at the box and thought I wanted it for dinner.

    With people, the reintroduction process feels unfair. It is unfair. You aren’t the same person who hurt her, but unfortunately you’re introducing similar feelings or experiences. She wants to kiss people again, she liked kissing people in the past, and she wants to kiss you specifically, when she considers you. But when the moment arrives, or she thinks about the moment arriving in reality, her body goes DANGER DANGER because one time she kissed someone and a horrible thing happened.

    It’s unfair to her, too. This is an unbelievably shitty thing to have to work through. She might even desperately want a relationship with someone kind, like I’m sure you are, but if she isn’t able to know how long it will be until you can have the physical relationship you both want, it makes sense that she’d step back from you. This could take years to resolve, or it might never resolve. She might be being kind to you by turning you down, or she might be being selfish because she doesn’t think she can handle navigating someone else’s feelings while hers are so intense. It’s fine if her reason is either, or both.

    So, yeah, what she’s describing sounds pretty normal for someone with trauma. I hope life treats you both with more kindness and you meet someone who can return your feelings, and she figures out a treatment that helps her find peace.






  • You never have to feel a particular way. If anyone says you have to feel bad, or that you shouldn’t feel bad if you do, they’re wrong. Not how feelings work. Some people feel better knowing that their abusers are shit because their folks are shit, and it had very little to do with you, other than your convenience as a victim when they wanted to hurt someone. But what you feel just is.

    I try to just look at what I’m feeling, and accept it, without judgement. Don’t turn away, but don’t dwell. It makes it easier to decide reasonable action later. Not detached from emotion (impossible) but understanding it as a part and not the entirety of behavior, where right and wrong start to come into play.