i agree with you that insincere apologies are wrong. OP structured their post looking to understand their wife’s POV, rather than to get a bunch of strangers to agree with them like on an AITA post. if that were the case i definitely wouldn’t suggest apologizing. OP acknowledges that they hurt their wife, even if they didn’t mean to, much like their wife hurt them, even if they didn’t mean to. i just think sitting down and actually expressing that, saying “hey, i wouldn’t have said that or said it the way i said it if i knew it would upset you, i’m sorry” establishes empathy and good faith, and often times doing that is enough to get the other person to do the same thing. if OP didn’t seem sorry i wouldn’t have suggested apologizing

i think my wording was the problem here in hindsight. “i’d apologize for the way you reacted whether or not you actually blew your lid” does sound like i’m saying to apologize for being angry even if you weren’t angry. what i was trying to say was that apologizing for hurting them, even if their reaction seemed way out of proportion to what OP said or how OP said it, would be a good first step to reconciliation

i think you replied to the wrong comment?

I’m very suprised by a lot of these comments. it’s very common advice that a gift giver should gift something that the reciever wants, not the giver. Not gifting someone they already know isn’t common advice but it’s already common sense. Common sense isn’t always as common as the name suggests, though, and we all have blind spots. The other commenters may be right in that your wife’s reaction might be a sign that your tone was harsher than you intended or thought, but that doesn’t change the fact that you were hurt as well. if this was an aquiantance i might agree that you should have just accepted the gift graciously even if you were just gonna return it, but your partner should someone you can be honest with and someone who will appreciate that honesty

like most relationship problems, i think the best way to move forward is to talk it out. i’d apologize for the way you reacted whether or not you actually blew your lid as an olive branch. explain again calmly where you’re coming from with this and emphasize gratitude that your wife was observant enough to get you a gift they thought you would use while also explaining- again, calmy- why your wife came to the wrong conclusion. try and zero in on the heart of the problem- was it specifically that you wanted to return it that was the issue? then you might be able to compromise that you keep it until your current one is broken beyond repair, for example. never ever ever say “i’m sorry you feel that way,” that never goes well, but do show genuine concern and remorse for the way that they feel. after your wife blows off some steam, if you both approach this calmly and in good faith i’m sure you’ll be able to find a compromise. that might look like your t-shirt rule, “no gifting things i already own,” or deciding to always gift “experiences” instead like another commenter said, or maybe just no gifts moving forward if it really is always going to be a point of contention

good luck to you and i hope everything works out well for the both of you

perhaps Trip playing “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy” whenever T’Pol came to do Vulcan accupressure was in hindsight a bad idea

it’s fascinating, the game gear itself actually has a “TV Mode” that’s activated by holding down a certain signal on the cartridge bus which bypasses the z80 and VDP and chucks a digital RGB signal and some kind of custom timing information straight to the screen

https://www.smspower.org/Development/TVTunerAdaptor

pwnedcles

hopefully washed out to sea

that’s a shame, i always really liked Pine’s Kirk in particular. but i guess it was also inevitable as soon as Spock showed up in Disco with a new actor

the rest of the article is… harrowing, to say the least. Trek feels like the elephant in the room at Paramount right now- you’d think Ellison would think that “un-woke-ifying” Trek would be an easy way to score points with the White House right now, but so far it’s been business as usual

Rick Berman described the producers’ view that providing an organic-feeling final episode to properly wrap things up would be impossible

honestly i think Terra Firma Part II would have gotten the job done fine, and if they had kept everything as is but called it the finale and left These Are The Voyages as a DVD extra or a TV “movie” people would have been happier. or at least they’d have an easier time detaching their distate for TATV from the rest of Enterprise

that bit about Trinner saying “ok, kill me!” is funny as hell

iirc the series finale was originally filmed to be the S4 finale, which is how they get ivanova even though she left the show in S5. the S4 finale we got was a rush job when they found out they were getting a final season and wanted to keep the finale they filmed as the series finale

i agree with your sentiment though, if it was the series finale i think it would’ve worked well

reminds me of the scots wikipedia, which as of 5 years ago was 50% nonsense written by a kid from the US. except now they’ve found a way to automate it, yay!

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/aug/26/shock-an-aw-us-teenager-wrote-huge-slice-of-scots-wikipedia

this guy hates

look at the comic again. the orphan being launched has their arms raised and is going “aaaaaaahhhh” like on a rollercoaster. clearly having fun!/profits have nothing to do with it, this is the most ethical way to handle the situation

i heard the giorgio moroder version of nights in white satin, one of my all time favorite songs, for the first time the other day but all of the youtube comments were about aeeing it in a raunchy scene from the sopranos so i guess i can never watch the sopranos

and yet i went to the store today and they had no gamecube games???

aw hell! K&T are great, that’s a real shame

to think all the money and effort we’ve wasted trying to create fusion in a lab when what we really needed was a really, really, really good pitcher

it’s both ironic and cruel that throrough SG-1 and early Atlantis they made the season endings so ambigious so often just in case there would be no next season, and then they do a left-field ending like this that would have been fine enough if the next season had them flying back to pegasus episode 1, so naturally this finale ends up being the finale finale. of course!

i’d love to see an animated movie pick up from there and wrap everything up- that way some of the original cast can come back but not all of them are needed and they can continue the story without needing to explain why atlantis was on earth for 20 years

But these so-called “dungeons”? No captives. Not even any cells. That’s not a dungeon. that’s a glorified cave.

I’ve always wondered how the term “dungeon” as it’s used in RPGs came to be. a lot of appendix N literature had locations we would now consider dungeons, but were they called that at the time? and then the first RPG dungeon was the literal dungeon under Blackmoor Castle, but very early on we had dungeons that stopped being literal dungeons- didn’t B1 and B2 exclusively have cave “dungeons?” and the Ruined Tower of Zenopus in the first Basic book had underground portions but I think those were caves too!

turns out commodore really is keeping up with you