As a person who has their BPD under control so well that my psychologist doesn’t feel fully comfortable diagnosing me with it anymore, seeing stuff about how be need to be avoided still hurts, a lot. I’ve put in the work, I’ve never missed an appointment with my current psychologist, I do my best to keep myself stable, and to not hurt others or myself, but I feel like I can never escape this diagnosis. I feel obligated to tell any romantic partners that I have BPD, only for it to be used against me. No matter what I do, I’ll always be branded by this, even if I haven’t exhibited symptoms for years. I feel like I’ll either have to lie to people, or tell them truth and walk on eggshells, afraid that any negative emotion will make them think I’m insane, abusive, or crazy. I just want to live a healthy and happy life.

Pretty much sums up my life rn, and I wish it didn’t…

I’ve returned to reddit a few times, mostly to just get an answer to a question I was trying to look up. But a few days ago I did make a new account, because I was feeling lonely and wanted to try and make new internet friends, and as far as I know, lemmy doesn’t yet have those penpal/chat/make friend communities. I had forgotten how ass the new account experience on reddit is, and how ass reddit itself is. I couldn’t get the verification email (tho that could have been due to trying to use a temporary email), posts got auto deleted due to account age and low karma, and random email and cookie popups that kept coming back. When one post miraculously did get posted (despite automod telling me it was deleted lol) and I got chat requests, I couldn’t even reply to people! I tried accepting the request, but kept getting an error. At this point I’m not sure if it is an actual error, or just reddit restricting new accounts from chatting, even if they are the ones the chat is sent to…

I get that these are used to combat bots, but is it actually working? Mostly it’s just hurting people who legitimately want to join and enjoy the site. The karma requirements also bring in their own problems, like subreddits just focused on farming karma so that users can finally take part in the conversations they came for in the first place.

I think people will get tired of the horrible new account creation and experience on reddit and look for alternatives. Lemmy seems to be more privacy orientated and without silly internet points anybody with a new account can immediately jump in on the action without restrictions, for better or worse.

After feeling like shit for like a week, I finally managed to take a shower and wash my hair. Feeling pretty good! :)

Didn’t start out great, but now somehow I’m feeling a bit more hopeful and inspired. I think I’m going to try and do something to make tomorrow a better day.

It went away. :) A painkiller and a nap is always a winning combo.

I have period cramps and my period in general is making my chronic illness worse. My mood is pretty good tho, just hoping that I’ll feel better soon so I can do some work and play some witcher 3 later.