I mean, could be worse. I’m sure literal crackheads have cats. Cats that have licked literal crack.

The same paws that were kicking around kitty litter 20 minutes ago.

I don’t. And I don’t understand why I’m the only one who just in general would rather hear silence then music.

…I think your wife wants to dress you up in dresses?

Balls

a group of ferrets is called a business

This is my favorite of your facts.

Dear netflix:

Hi. I’m 41 years old, which means I was about 10 years old during the original run. Therefore I was the target audience. Just came by to tell you, that Captain Planet has always sucked. The ONLY reason it had any ratings is because it had a 4pm timeslot, on weekdays, and Fresh Prince of Belair reruns didn’t air until 5pm.

Seriously, nobody liked that show. It may legitimately be the first case of hate watching.

~Sincerely, some guy.

Just imagine Conan, Colbert, Stewart, and Oliver on one podcast network.

Colbert to Daily Show confirmed!

Lets eat grandma!

Me.

…well god damn.

I’m into tech.

I use linux (though I don’t understand it, and it drives me crazy)

I’m literally a mod of fuck_ai

Not a Marxist.

I’d say I’m liberal.

I’m a straight guy, but I’d say I’m pro-queer in the sense that I think they deserve to be happy and treated just like everybody else.

I’m an introvert. hides under covers

Also, I like comic books, model trains, video games, and blowjobs. Is there anybody else on Lemmy like me?

This just proves that we’re all NPCs, and she’s the main character.

I kinda want to date your ex. I need someone like that in my life.

Like clockwork I continue to not be subscribed to peacock, or any other streaming, for this very reason.

Pay X amount per month, for a selection of content you don’t control, have no ownership of, cannot retain a copy of (longterm), and whose price is subject to change at any time.

Ooooorrrrrrr…I could buy physical media, and rip my own permanent copy, which never expires, andwhose cost is a one time purchase.

Why the fuck is physical media dying??? Oh, right. I live in the same country that willingly voted for trump, and are now shocked to learn he’s a shitty person.

In other words, I’m surrounded by morons.

The woman does a handstand, then the man walks over and blows raspberries on her belly, as she blows raspberries on his belly. Pretty soon orgasms are flowing.

Let’s test this out!

You don’t eat the ass? Hmmmmm, we’re doing it very differently.

blood dripping from corners of mouth

I think that’s called having depression.

How’s your back pain?

Everybody get naked!