God told me it was true. Believe me.

At least I’m not on the Epstein list.

20,000*

existential squealing intensifies

On the other hand, he does listen to the Village People quite a bit and apparently puts most of his time and energy into interior decorating…

“Please help me.”

HOLY FUCK A TALKING BUSH

“Listen, I just got pissed on by a sadistic Labradoodle and it won’t stop staring at me. Don’t panic but it’s right behind you…”

I pray every single day

For revolution

This might be on LinkedIn

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You okay buddy? You keep posting this and I can’t decide whether it’s main character syndrome or the beginning of a psychotic episode.

I was on my way but I’ll never make it on time now. If only I had known…

It’s comforting just knowing where the emergency exit is in case the building ever completely catches fire.

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW

Promise?

They teach troops that sort of thing because it’s better than death by dehydration but, no, urine has been shown not to be sterile repeatedly.

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But only with two dolls.

It doesn’t hurt that he also has a magnum dong.

It would except this is all an academic exercise. Very educational video BTW.