BOston BAked beans.

Things not going well with Kash’s girlfriend?

I’m shocked. I thought they’d release him with a complimentary handjob.

Been toying with an idea for a while. Cosmic horror where the only way to win is to leave almost immediately. You play as a group of four engineers sent to repair comms at an Antarctic research base. The goal is you arrive, see shit’s fucked, and head back to the boat immediately.

If you choose not to, you assign one weapon/tool to each party member. Wrench, welding torch, ice pickaxe, etc. The trick is that the tools determine which characters die, so even if you start over and change the assignments, whoever has the wrench dies at the same time, every time. And I want there to be “wrenchable” objects after that story point that you can’t interact with.

In addition, I want Bloodborne style sanity points that you get for interacting with the world, and the more you have, the worse things get for you. Essentially, I want to punish people who play games the way I do and explore every single crack.

Oh, and I want the monster at the end to be surrounded by invisible eyes that become visible as its head passes through them, like it’s emitting bubbles in reverse.

Edit: Forgot to mention that you can go back to the boat AT ANY TIME. The endings just get worse for you (and eventually, the world).

Lots of things, but I think my strawberry shortcake soap is the last thing I made that I was truly proud of.

Fuck.

Y’all seen the new Bears Who Love Shitting commercial where they tell you to inspect your kid’s asshole for traces of inferior toilet paper?

Interesting. I was thinking of having iMessage/Messages, but I forgot most of the world uses Whatsapp to text, anyway, so that function does exist.

As far as calls go, I’m surprised by how unappealing the idea was to me. The amount of spam calls I get would probably kill my relationship with computers, honestly. For normal calls, I’d definitely want a headset of some kind rather than built-in mic and speakers, though I suppose a purpose-built laptop would include better audio equipment.

That made me a little sad, but we can’t see our Blaschko’s lines, so I guess they’re not really missing out.

Honestly, I was around for that, so I’m a bit shocked by all the people saying current smartphones are already too big.

How would you feel about a laptop with call and text capability out of the box?

Sarah Winchester wasn’t haunted by anything but this joke.

Oh, no, I mean full shoebox volume. Like 20lbs of battery with a phone glued to the smallest side.

The real question is what color they see themselves as. “I’m bright orange and they still can’t see me? The fuck?” Or “I’m green and should blend in perfectly, but that human is looking right at me!”

“Alright, we can kill it. Do we want to roll back the save or start over?”

“What would you do if you saw me naked in your kitchen?”

“Call the cops.”

You will put tomato’s, onion, and cheese on them

You mean you want your hash browns spanked, choked, and gagged?

Reminds me of the Family Guy bit:

“I’m a Seventh Day Adventist! We believe all the same things you do, but the sabbath is Saturday!”

“WHAT?!”

Customer? Dollar General or Walmart. The employees are the fighters at most of these places.

I think Pandora still has a free tier.