this is all in lower case because i originally wrote it on discord where people do that.
i saw a WAAY worse one before the olympics where like every individual option, not just the pairs but like ALL the individuals, sucked ass, this ones a lot less… like that. lets look at the options.
this meme also makes the odd assumption that people have conversations on flights lol
1 - yeah no im not sitting next to andrew tate and any discussion between tate and bateman would be insufferable to listen to lol. this ones out. its weird a fictional character is on here tho lol. 2 - this wouldnt be so bad? Charlie’s like, a normal dude lol. a bit too normal really but like. he’s normcore. and while im closer to joe rogan than id like, theres a buffer. i could survive this i think and just like, have a normal conversation with charlie and hope joe isnt too annoying. 3 - i feel like this wouldnt be as bad as the meme maker things because like, trump always folds to whoever he’s talking to (the meeting with obama for example) and usually doesnt get confrontational lol?, especially now in his low energy phase. i really dont think theyd argue, kamala wouldnt want to do that sort of thing in public becuase liberals are polite. theyrd probably be cordial so you could have a fairly normal flight lol. also if anything kamala would be the more annoying one by a slight bit, and theres also the “theyre both part of the club at the end of the ay” effect. 4 - idk who either of these people are lmao??? wild they just have a row with two randoms i dont recognize. 5 - there are worse options in the world. obviously i never want to have to talk to tucker carlson. putin wouldnt even be bad lol because like, he doesnt speak fluent english? i feel like this is surviveable. i wouldnt have to like, listen to a redux of the tucker/putin interview because presumably their translator isnt there lol. i mean maybe im wrong about how much english putin speaks and they would try to talk past me or some shit. but idts. then again i guess that means that im going to have to deal with tucker trying to chatter to me which would suck ass. if putin DOES speak english then maybe we can relate on how terrible the united states is but since i dont think he hates the US because of moral convictions and just does because its geopolitically convient that wouldnt be that great for me. but itd pass the time! 6 - i cant believe this is on here because its such an obvious choice. taylor is a fairly normal personable person as far as i know? and hasan is vaguely annoying at his worst and i could easily have a conversation with him. it would be WEIRD talking to a leftist-adjacent person and a regular lib like taylor i guess? but its not like, bad? idk meme maker was on one making this a row because its like a freebie. i mean does taylor do things like fly a private jet and hurt the environment? sure. but at least one half of every other option is a worse person lol. 7 - pretty bad choice. idk what kind of conversation ben and dr disrespect would have but im sure itd be insuferable and i never want to have a conversation with ben shapiro in my life. 8 - we dont know much about the turkish rifle guy lol so its so weird that he’s here. meme maker just wanted to be topical. which is why the other version i saw (and didnt copy at the time) was better. anyway idk if turkish rifle guy speaks english but if he does he’s probably normal. and if he doesnt, well he’s sitting in between me and alex jones so i could survive this easily. alex probably isnt going to try to talk over a guy in between us? i mean idk maybe he would alex is a wacko and maybe he’d not care about speaking over a non english speaker or whatever. also someone mention that turkish rifle guy MIGHT be a war criminal but there’s no reason to bring that up and ruin my flight. 9 - as much as itd be really interesting to talk to imane (though again, does she speak english? presumably she speaks french and/or arabic?) sitting next to elon musk is not a bargain im willing to accept. i feel like part of the insinuation is that elon would be awful and hateful to imane’s face and that would suck on 9 so yeah i guess id avoid that. but maybe id sit there just to be a buffer for her. but also like, would elon even be that confrontational or would he fold in person like a coward? 10 - i assume epstein is alive and not a rotting corpse, but yeah this is obviously the worst option lmao. trying to listen to these two monsterous people try to have normal conversations like theyre normal people would be horrendous. and like, youre on a flight, so you cant have a meltdown. or try to kill them. so you have to like, keep it bottled, and possibly even respond politely if hillary tries to talk to you.
Wish i had saved the other one i saw because it was much more interesting to analyze lol. Because I remember not even being able to think of a least bad option when I looked at it. This one has not only an obvious choice, but even an obvious backup. (Presuming the hijack the plane option is off the table).
If Elon wanted to talk to Imane I would simply convince the gold medal boxer to join me in beating the shit out of him
6 and show them my hexbear posts so by the end of the flight they’ll want to be my best friends
this tbh, you can also easily bully ben shapiro in various ways. it’s a win-win.
Reminds me of the bit where Adam Friedland shares that he believes that he could be good (platonic) friends with Taylor Swift and Nick just dunks on him for 5 minutes
Would be my choice
It would be extremely painful
you’re a big guy
For you
I had a dream once where I was in an airport gate and a guy who looked like hasan was playing a game on a gamer laptop and I sat next to him and said “have you heard of hasan? I think he has a skin in this game, you should use that one because you look just like him and then it would be like it’s actually you lol”
And he gave me a whithering unamused glare as if to say “fuck off, you aren’t funny” as I realized the guy I thought looked like hasan actually was hasan.
Putin does speak english he just refuses to, i think the meme maker doesnt use the full ability to make chaos in the plane, in a warhammer 40k one had Leman russ behind magnus so he would kick his seat the entire flight until a fight happen and that was fun to think about, i dont really see something like that happening here
i guess i would pick 8 since its a window seat and i hope the turkish guy doesnt talk much
Alex would probably try to lean over and talk to you I feel but then maybe Turkish guy kills him.
i feel alex would try to talk to either elon or shapiro first, sparing me and the turkish guy from a conversation with him
I have trouble thinking about how the forward and behind seats matter in the equation lol you make a good point.
i guess i would pick 8 since its a window seat and i hope the turkish guy doesnt talk much
Also, Jones is likely to drink himself to sleep within the first hour so probably wont be much of a bother
Congratulations, you choose the cop 👮♂️, fortunately for you, isn’t american, so is just 3 turns on the jail.
4 is the best actually because it makes it easiest to corner Musk and
spoiler
Acquire his autograph
worst spoiler ever
If you are aware of any black magic that can be performed with merely an autograph, please share
if you got a printed picture with him (idk use a camera that prints their pics), you could control elon through a puppet with ventriloquism
unflattering picture of Imane
why :(
I think before this I had Alex Jones and Joe Rogan merged in my head as if they were the same person because I kept looking back and forth between them thinking “wait… Why is Joe Rogan on here twice?”
Not 9 for sure, i’ll let imane kick elon’s ass.
Nah, I wouldn’t like 6. I’m stuck in the middle and I have a feeling they might be talkative/obnoxious irl. Worst one is definitely 1 especially if you’re a woman. 9 is pretty bad as well because you know Musk has powerful R*dditor energy who thinks repeating the same shitty jokes is the height of comedy. 10 is pure creepy since these two ghouls actually know each other. 7 is also bad although Shapiro strikes me as an introvert so maybe he’ll stfu and read some shitty reactionary rag or something. I don’t know 4. I would pick 2 except I don’t know if the Youtuber dude is a neckbeard who doesn’t shower and thinks wiping his ass is gay. 3 is underrated if we assume they’re in campaign mode and have a unspoken truce not to say anything to each other (and to you in the middle). 8 is also underrated because the Turkish dude most likely doesn’t speak English and Alex Jones is playing a character. Early Alex Jones was acted like a completely normal person irl, but the only uncertain part is current Alex Jones has been playing the character for so long that he is probably a little unhinged. 5 is honestly the best for peace and quiet. Both Carlson and Putin strike me as quiet individuals in real life. Putin is one of those people who pretends they don’t understand a language when they actually do, so he’ll stfu throughout the entire flight.
Tier list:
Would sit: 2 (if neckbeard Youtuber has basic grooming), 5
Would tolerate sitting: 8, 3, 6, 7
No: 9, 2 (if neckbeard Youtuber think wiping his ass is gay), 10, 1
Don’t know: 4
Rest assured I’m pretty sure Charlie/MoistCritikal does basic grooming lol. I realize how the look would make you think otherwise but he doesn’t seem like the “wiping my ass is gay” type to me.
Hey i think we got into it on your thread about the dunk tank awhile back and i just wanted to sat, im sorry pal
Yeah… Charlie has played around with too many dildos to be the “wiping ass is gay” type.
4 im going to seduce kamala and putin and have an amazing power throuple going on for instituting the transgenda
I’d gladly sit next to Imane and continuously say “haha eat shit bitch” to
but i’d probably struggle to keep it up for 10 hours
I’m going for 9 so I can goad Elon Musk into getting riled up about trans issues to the point that Imane Khelif shows him exactly why he was right to avoid a boxing match with Zuckerberg by throwing a perfect hook to his jaw.
Worst case scenario, Elon Musk gets knocked out. Best case scenario, he never wakes up again.
The only thing is that it would suck to put Imane Khelif through more bullshit. But this is never gonna happen so I’m not going to lose sleep over it.
Am I wrong in thinking joe Rogan wouldn’t be that bad? Like he’s not good, but I always got the sense he mostly just agrees with whoever he’s talking to, and it’s his guests who are the really shitty ones.
The fact he has those guests on says something about him for sure, but I always got the sense he’s like that guy in high school who is reactionary as a default, but would rather talk about like wrestling or drugs, or like “bro, what if we’re actually in the matrix?” I could have a conversation with a guy like that for a plane ride, that’d be my choice. We could just trade epic drug stories the whole time.
6 is just a fun time and doesn’t belong on this yeah. Like you don’t even have someone annoying in front of you, although Ben is behind. Hasan would probably have some fun things to say about this situation.