I went to the neurologist this morning and after all of his tests, he said he couldn’t find anything neurological that could be wrong with me. He thought it might be behavioral, but that wouldn’t explain the morning heaving. He sent all of my records back to the gastro doctor and we’ll see what they say when they get back to us. So I’m kind of feeling a bit deflated.
Meanwhile, my mother is driving me insane to the point that I had a minor breakdown in the car while she was yelling at me. I had to repeat over and over that she needed to be quiet and she kept saying things like, “you have so many rules!” Finally, I said, '“these are the code words. If you hear me say the exact sentence, ‘you are making me anxious’ she had to be quiet and count to 30 in her head.” She agreed. Angrily. She doesn’t find that reasonable.
She’s also quite hard of hearing despite having hearing aids, so I’m having my wife sit in during these evaluations via Facetime so I can tell my mother “the doctor didn’t say that” and have someone else agree. It still hasn’t worked 100% of the time, but it has worked.
Also, every single time there is a possible diagnosis or she reads something that she thinks sounds like my symptoms (and she’s always wrong about that), she decides that’s definitely what I have and she definitely knows what should be done about it.
This time it’s worse, because she was a psychotherapist and she actually knows a little about behavioral therapy. But I feel really bad for her clients, because they had a totally crazy lady for a therapist. And she kept some of them on for like a decade after she officially retired. They came to her house. So they actually liked whatever she did for them. All I can think is that she has a completely different personality as a therapist.
Oh, she also thinks that the dry heaving every morning is inconsequential and I should just accept that I’m going to have to live with it the rest of my life. What. The. Fuck?
I guess it’s been so long since I’ve spent more than a few hours with her that I forgot how truly nuts she is. And a bit on the narcissistic side.
Edit: Ugh. This fucking guy again.
Oh man, I really empathize with you. There’s nothing worse than a stubborn, narcissistic know-it-all mom who still treats you like you’re twelve instead of a grown-ass adult. They never understand how they cause you anxiety, and they always think your problems are all in your head and somehow your own fault. They never realize how they wear you down by tearing you down.
I bought my dad a book for his birthday called Old Jews Telling Jokes*, and no lie, the first one he read was “What’s the difference between a Jewish mother and a Rottweiler? Answer: eventually a Rottweiler will let go!”
Levity aside, hang in there and stay strong. You’re in the best possible place for finding a diagnosis, and despite what the neuro said, you did have some small progress yesterday. Don’t let her nonsense overshadow that. And keep venting on Lemmy because we’ve got your back, and we know how draining overbearing moms can be!
* Side note, this was first successful gift I’ve bought him in ages. He’s 75 and famously hard to buy for so this was an enormous victory that I will be proud of probably forever haha
That’s definitely my Jewish mother. Although I had my wife talk to her in texts today about how doing the lidocaine thing for the rest of my life was simply not an option because she didn’t accept it when I said it.