When I was younger, I always heard that “true gentleman” value and don’t fear commitment. I also heard a lot of girls I used to be friends with complain about how their ex-boyfriends didn’t like commitment and how they shouldn’t have dated in the first place then. Now that I’ve gone out into the dating world, I can confirm several of my breakups were caused by the person fearing commitment.
Some were just the person was an asshole, some were that they lost feelings mid-relationship, and if it wasn’t either two, they were just plain afraid of commitment. But what makes people afraid to commit? What are some of the reasons anyway, or your reasons if you fear or feared commitment?
My ex “C” said our relationship wasn’t “real” and didn’t mean anything, and that she liked me but wasn’t looking for a long-term commitment. She also essentially wanted to be FWB (friends with benefits) but later said she didn’t want to and we were just friends and that we never actually had a relationship.
Sometimes you get your heart broken by who you thought was “the one” and it becomes hard to trust it again because “these are the same feelings as last time and look how that turned out.” Even if you want to, there can be a “fool me once” element to it that isn’t so easy to shake.
And for me personally so far it’s that everyone seems to expect me to fall in love within a month and marry them within a couple years. Bruh I’m slow at that shit sorry idfk what to tell you and the more you pressure me the less likely it’ll ever happen because it’ll push me the other way.